I have the CompTIA trifecta (A+, Network+, and Security+) certifications...

Also get your name out there. If you live in a decent sized city, look for young professionals networking shin digs.
You might get lucky and find an opportunity to get a head start at a proper IT job.

lol

What's so funny about a guy trying to get somewhere in life?

lol

I got a job in IT and have no qualifications or prior experience in the field...also, I am obese.

One of the great minds of Any Forums right here

lol

Also, check out craigslist. Sometimes people will post shitty jobs that they're desperate to fill.