I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
Everything is discussed openly in Germany and very German claims the right to have an opinion on any and all questions. One is Catholic, the other Protestant, one an employee, the other an employer, a capitalist, a socialist, a democrat, an aristocrat. There is nothing dishonorable about choosing one side or the other of a question. Discussions happen in public and where matters are unclear or confused one settles it by argument and counter argument. But there is one problem that is not discussed publicly, one that it is delicate even to mention: the Jewish question. It is taboo in our republic.
The Jew is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a Jew and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”
Jackson Thompson
I love doing this. Whenever my wife or a friend wants some company going shopping somewhere, I'll fill up a whole cart of the same item, completely wiping out the shelf. As soon as the shelf or rack is empty they start filling the shelf again, and so by the time I have it all at the check out, I get to pay, and go, OH SHIT, I forgot my wallet at home, I'm so sorry, and then I walk out to the car. Then the wagies have to put it all back, except the other wagie has already filled the shelf, so now they have to figure out where to put all the shit until they can put it back on the shelf.
Michael Jenkins
Based Driver fled LA because he want to raise a little mulatto mutt.
Jaxon Williams
Requesting the "For me it's the McChicken" pasta
Benjamin Gonzalez
For me, it’s the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.
One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, “Wow, three for free!” and the nice friendly McDonald’s worker laughed and said, “I’m going to call you 3-for-free!”.
Now the staff greets me with “hey it’s 3-for-free!” and ALWAYS give me three packets. It’s such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald’s restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I’m in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.
I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it’s delicious! What a great restaurant.
Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
Eli Nelson
Please for the love of god someone poast the Negligent Discharge one in it’s entirety
PROTIP: if you own a gun over a year without negligent discharging at least once, you aren't handling it enough. NDs are a natural part of handling weapons, just like tweaking your back is part of weightlifting and car accidents are part of driving. I ND several times a year because I actually HANDLE and know how to USE my weapons. It makes me a better firearms handler and marksman, and it's a small part of the price you pay in the sheepdog lifestyle Simple fact is, the "safety mentality" will build mental blocks in your head that will get you killed. You need to be comfortable putting your finger on the trigger and pointing the gun wherever you want no matter the time, place, or status of the weapon. Taking time to check whether the gun is loaded whenever you pick one up will serve to make you hesitate in a personal defense scenario. You fucking safety idiots are going to get people killed all because of this fucking "ND" shaming. Guns are inherently dangerous, you need to accept it.
Jack Barnes
Don't feel bad, they've happened to me a few times
>At friends apartment at college. >Just bought my first pistol from a gun show (I was 18) >Drinking with friends >Show them my new Jericho >Try to manually decock >Thumb slips on hammer, ND into celling Upstairs neighbors too high and drunk (underage and illegal drugs) to call the police.
Second time
>At range >Showing friend pistol >Think gun is unloaded >Point at ground show him how to wrack and pull the trigger. >Forgot loaded mag in >Shoot between his feet
Third time
>At parents house. >Just bought a sig from a guy >Get home >Try swapping slides with another sig I had >Forgot the other sig slide was chambered. >Pull trigger >Shoot parents wall
Fourth time
>At my new house >Playing with a friend's 5.56 AK >Release bolt >Slam fires round into ground
Fifth time
>Showing a friend how to use it >No idea how but a round got chambered >Show him how the trigger works >Pull trigger >Shoots round into floor in the same place as before
Sixth time
>Thought maybe the house was haunted >Grab a sig >Physically clear it, (racked the slide 3 times) with no magazine in pull trigger at the same hole >Round goes off
Seventh time
>Friend brings over a used >Glock wants me to look over it >I grab it and pull the trigger without clearing it >Didn't even realize the thing was loaded.
Eighth time
>Friend brings over his transferable Mac 10 >I had no idea how open bolt guns worked. >He's showing it off to me I put a loaded mag it and decided to try and release the bolt (I thought it shot from a closed bolt) >Pulled the trigger for some reason >Shot 3 rounds into my wall
Overall you shouldn't feel too bad about NDs. It's part of owning guns, and you should get used to them.
Mason Bennett
You are a disgusting cancer. Whether it is your fault matters not, the only thing of importance is your summary removal.
If I commanded an army of just 100 men, I would have them do this to you and others like you.
First, drag you over several miles of gravel whilst bound to a truck.
Once the destination is reached, you will be doused in gasoline, but not lit. A soldier will rip your breasts off and sew them over your eyes, with pebbles stuffed into your exposed wounds.
After this you will be beaten and yelled at in different languages. A traitor you are, a false savior no more.
The soldiers will be permitted to have their way with you if they wish before the next step commences.
Your skin will be carefully removed with a steak knife with portions cut up and stuffed in your mouth.
Finally you will be slung over a branch and lit aflame. This will be the fate of you and billions more.
My wife left me because of my political views. A fucking seven year marriage, with two kids, and she completely fucking destroyed it all. All because I lean slightly to the conservative side. I'm not even a fanatic or anything, not a nazi, I'm literally just a middle of the road type of person. How the fuck could she do that? To me? To our goddamn kids?
She left me for another guy too, that homewrecking whore. My fucking head is spinning knowing that there was this dude he hung out with in Cky called "Mike Vallely", and he was the douchiest blowhard I've ever seen.
He was a 5'8" balding manlet who looked like he hit the gym maybe twice a week to do only chest and arms, and he would get super aggro over nothing in order to look like the "tough one" of the crew; which isn't really much of an accomplishment, because the bar isn't set very high in the first place. His accomplishments included scattering 4 timid teenagers by flailing his arms like a windmill, and shoving a middle-aged mall cop away while the security guard was just trying to do his job.
He also had a brief stint as a hockey enforcer, where presumably his appreciation for violence might serve some sort of purpose, but then, to absolutely NO ONE'S surprise, the MOMENT he had to fight someone as strong, or stronger than him, who was equally as fond of violence as he was, he got his shit pushed in regularly. Never won a single fucking hockey fight in his life and was CONSTANTLY getting thrown to the ice.
The guy was the definition of coked up blowhard.
Mike Vallely, ladies and gentlemen. A possible contender for "faggiest skater in all of existence". Possibly faggier than even Bam Margera himself.
Levi Phillips
Wrong board I know but anyone have the female Jedi “she was a good friend” one?
Samuel James
"NIGGERS could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this neighborhood before. There could be NIGGERS anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE NIGGERS" he thought. Sweet Dreams are Made of These reverberated his entire car, making it pulsate even as the $9 wine circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of minorities after dark. "With a car, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.
This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此,您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Social Credits ( -11115 Social Credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫,更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折,从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。
为党争光! Glory to the CCP!
Ethan Harris
Kek never seen this. Is this the full thing?
Matthew King
This shit makes me laugh every time. And every time I go wtf did I just read.
In 2005, I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind a Ross Dress for Less. Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it, and a sphincter you could only dream of. I had fun at first. But he was so weirdly macho about it. He kept saying things like "thats right bitch, am I gonna make you nut?" and "fucking fag I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot". I just ignored him and kept railing. He continued unironically calling me his bitch and a fag as he had several hands free prostate orgasms spilling seminal fluids onto the train tracks, getting more angry and dominant after each one. "Yea i bet you like dudes. You look like a pussy" he'd say "I cant even feel your limpdick bitch." I just kept clapping, wondering wtf is up with him. After about 20 minutes of railing Mike's boypussy, drenched in sweat and his cream, I finally got a nut off despite his constant berating and degrading comments. He immediately hopped off, laid flat on his back and bent his legs over his head so the cum dripped out of his asshole directly into his mouth. "The fuck you looking at? You like this gay boy?" He kept saying. After he got every last drop. He cackled like a rooster and punched me in the face as hard as he could. He nearly broke his hand, but I was fine. "Fucking fag" he said as he limped off into the sunset, shaking his wrist. That was the first and last time I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind the Ross Dress for Less
Elijah James
For me, it's Moderna. The best covid™ vaccine. I even ask for extra jabs and the pharmacy staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.
One time I asked for a Moderna jab and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly pharmacist laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".
Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three jabs. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local pharmacy, I go there at least 3 times a week for jabs and pcr tests, 1-2 times for Pfizer on the weekends, and maybe once for Novavax when I'm in a rush but want to feel safe and show that I believe in the $cience!, it's fast, and can match my daily coof fearing needs.
I even jab my toddler with science juice, it's safe! What a great country!
Levi Kelly
>Ryan Gosling I’ve never seen one of his movies
Adam Sanders
American culture is centered around niggers. They have holidays for niggers. They killed hundreds of thousands of white men to free niggers. They listen to nigger music. They elect a nigger as their president. They dress and act like niggers. They draw the entirety of their modern culture from niggers. They post sassy gifs about niggers. They watch sportsball in worship of niggers. Their biggest event of the year involves throwing parties in honor of niggers playing sports. They use nigger slang like ''bruh'' and ''thot''. When you say ''Martin Luther'' they're not thinking of the father of protestantism. They're thinking of the nigger. Their cities are completely overrun with niggers. They worship their ZOGbot police force disproportionately filled with niggers and their global police force of soldiers filled with niggers. Their men sit around watching nigger ball while their women sit around watching nigger talk shows. They worship niggers like Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson and the ate Mike Tyson while attacking the whites who actually built their country before niggers took over. Their movies are filled with niggers and their music charts are topped by niggers. They send niggers to the Olympics and celebrate when the niggers win because those niggers are true red blooded american niggers. They watch nigger porn to a point where ''BBC'' does not make them think of an international media company but about nigger penises instead. They will tell you how much they hate niggers and how the mutt's law is a stale joke and they are just pretending to love niggers but the evidence speaks for itself in that America has always been and will be a nation of nigger loving niggers.
“What you’re seeing now is my retarded state.” > *Takes first shot. “This is a Super Retard.” > *Takes second shot. “And this, this is what is known as a Super Retard that has ascended past a Super Retard. Or, you could just call this a Plague Lord 2.” > “What a useless transformation, you changed your DNA so what?” “Hmhmhm… just wait.” > “Has he really found a way to surpass an Ascended Super Retard? is that possible?” > “He must be bluffing, I mean what would that make him? Double Retard?” “AND THIS…” > *Takes first booster. > “Eh? What’s he doing?” “IS… TO GO… EVEN FURTHER BEYOND!” > *Takes second booster. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” > *Vaccinated Mask Mandates… decreasing oxygen. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” > *Stay indoors… decreasing vitamin D. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” > “No, stop it Goku! If you do this now it will drain away all the time you have left on earth! And I say you need every second of it as it is!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” > “NNN IT’S UNREAL! HOW IS HE GENERATING THAT MUCH STUPIDITY?” > “Do it dad!” > “It’s too much!” > “Uhhh? What’s going on? Goten’s dad is putting out even more viral particles than before. I-I should go. I don’t wanna get yelled at again.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” > “STOP IT! STOP IT NOW GOOOOKKKUUUUUUUUUU!!!!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” > There’s terror in the streets! “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” > “Uhhhuhuhu What is Goku doing? If he doesn’t stop this everything is going to be infected!” > “Wowowoow please somebody make it stop!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” >”WAAAAAA” “I’m sorry it took much longer than the others. I haven’t had the occasion to practice this one. This is what I call a Plague Lord 3.”
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
Kayden Evans
I saw jake gaylenhall at grocery store ten years ago he was blocking the potatoes, almost told him to get the fuck out of the way but luckily the display had another side so I grabbed my russets and left been awhile, thanks leafanon
There's nothing more masculine than fucking another dude in the ass
Logan Adams
What the Shadow Realm did you just fucking say about me, you little low level duelist? I'll have you know I graduated top of Obelisk Blue in Dueling Academy, and I've been involved in numerous secret duels in Battle City, and I have over 300 confirmed Blue-Eyes White Dragons. I am trained in Duel Monsters warfare and I'm the top Duelist in the entire Kaiba Corporation. You are nothing to me but just another Kuriboh. I will summon monsters with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Duelist Kingdom, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the other side of the Arena? Think again, Pegasus. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of friends across the globe and your mind is being crushed right now so you better switch to defense mode, and defend your life points. The Dark Hole that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call a field. Your girlfriend is dead, you fruit booty anime villain. I can be two people anywhere, anytime, and I can end this duel in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my Celtic Guardian. Not only am I extensively trained in ancient Egyptian, but I have access to the Millennium Items of the United States Army and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable Toon World off the face of the Battlefield, you little weirdo. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little Millennium Eye comment was about to bring down upon humanity, maybe you would have held your cards in hand. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, Pegasus. I will unleash fury all over the arena and then I will Mind Shuffle in it. You're fucking dead, Pegasu
Andrew Garcia
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
3.8368848300355E-11 more aeons 5.0023063236659E+22 more atomic unit of time 1.21E+24 more attoseconds 0.00050450771388125 more callippic cycles 0.00038363982244769 more centuries 14.00462962963 more days 0.0038363982244769 more decades 0.0054812640429079 more dog years 1.21E-12 more exaseconds 1.21E+21 more femtoseconds 1 more fortnight 1.6682107956676E-10 more galactic years 0.00121 more gigaseconds 0.038343373593242 more gregorian years 363000.36300036 more helek 0.00012612806439077 more hipparchic cycles 336.11111111111 more hours 1.6682107956676E-10 more indictions 72600000.02904 more jiffies 1344.4444444444 more ke 1210 more kiloseconds 0.038264015381502 more leap years 0.47424144277761 more lunar months 0.039519794648615 more lunar years 0.007673769660071 more lustrums 13.629925928449 more mars days 1.21 more megaseconds 0.002017958159889 more metonic cycles 1210000000000 more microseconds 3.8363982244769E-5 more millenniums 14004.62962963 more millidays 1210000000 more milliseconds 20166.666666667 more minutes 13444.444444444 more moments 0.46042617960426 more months 1.21E+15 more nanoseconds 0.0047928232818719 more octaeteris 0.0095856465637438 more olympiads 1.21E-9 more petaseconds 1.21E+18 more picoseconds 2.2443941156067E+49 more planck times 1210000 more seconds 1.21E+14 more shakes 14.042971492768 more sidereal days 1 0.03834191861746 more sidereal years 1210000000000 more sigmas 2.626204538012E-5 more sothic cycles 1.21E+19 more svedbergs 1.21E-6 more teraseconds 0.038343405859005 more tropical years 2.0006613756614 more weeks 0.038368848300355 more years 1.21E+30 more yoctoseconds 1.21E-18 more yottaseconds 1.21E+27 more zeptoseconds 1.21E-15 more zettaseconds
If trans women are women, then anyone can be a woman. If anyone can be a woman, then being a woman is not based on any characteristics distinct from being a man. If being a woman and being a man have shared characteristics, then toxic masculinity can’t exist. If toxic masculinity doesn’t exist, then the patriarchy doesn’t exist. If the patriarchy doesn’t exist, then there is no need for feminism. If gender doesn’t exist, then neither does any other objective human characteristic. If no objective human characteristic exists, any human can claim any characteristic. If any human can claim any characteristic, then any human can be any age, race, or gender they choose to be. If anyone can be anything, then oppression cannot exist. If these things have always been true, then the structure of oppression can never have existed.
Hunter Brown
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Daniel Walker
The roastie thing is a meme. It's a genetic lottery, some vaginas are like that. My mom for example has a pussy like a baby, you cant see the labia Yet my sister has a big
labia even when she was a virgin Same as the "uncut dicks smell Thing I am cut and mine smells in just two days of not showering while the dick of my father, who only showers once a week, never smells.
Charles Green
Don't fucking care. I'd rather die than live in whatever hellscape they have planned. I'm not a coward. I'll die on my feet (well maybe on back gurgling blood) if it means I keep my bodily autonomy. Fuck the government, the corporations, the elites, sycophants, authoritarians and everyone inbetween, I'll never give in to tyrants demands even if it means it kills me. I'll get to laugh at them when they burn in hell or kick their asses down there for eternity while I'm burning with them. In other words Listen
Basically I'm just gonna not take it! (the vaccine!!)
I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know..... UGH I know.....
It's just that I'm not gonna take it is all!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAH
Jack Brown
Hi,
I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart.
I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything.
Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion.
Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina --- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour.
Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly less they get inflated egos and think they're all that
They're just too close together, sorry, but its true.
Jayden Sanchez
Post your dildo collection faggot
Leo Robinson
>be on vacation in bongland >see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout >follow her for a block >working up courage >gently touch her shoulder “H-hello, I’m user. Y-you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner?” >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments >then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence “YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT!” >quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths “FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I GOT MY TURDCUTTER WAXED! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it’s leg caught in a wood chipper >head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu “ERE NOW, WATS THIS SHITE? IT’S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I’LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!?” >look at the menu. It’s in English, just a fancy script >she shoves her menu at the waiter “I WONT BANGERS AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV!” “I’m sorry, madam, we don-“ “I SED FAKKIN BANGERS AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE!” >he slinks away without even taking my order >Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles “JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT’S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN’T WE?” >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >turn around >Arya is slumped over the table >raped to death by Pakis
Benjamin Perry
I just ate some fried chicken. The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm. Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my table and asked me how the meal was.I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apologized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it.
He lead me to the back of the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror, the remaining sections of its body covered with festering sores and a froth of sweat.
The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones.
They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it.
I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the diseased asshole puckering rythmically with terror, squirting pus with each convulsion. "We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?"
I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect penis into the stallion's defenseless asshole. With each thrust, I donkey punched the horse in the back of the head, making it clench its ass even tighter. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer.
David Nelson
What a stupid fucking post. Total cope, like all trumptard fascist cult members are doing right now.
Biden fucking won. Fuck all you racist fucking white male assholes. Fuck all of you Hate will never FUCKING win BIDEN WON. and now all you white racist sexist homophobic, islamophobic, zoophobic, and transphobic drumpf cult members will be sent to reeducation camps, LOL!
It'll be so fun!!! I can't wait. Fuck you btw, if I wasn't clear enough. Racism, sexism, and bigotry, will NEVER EVER NEVER EVER WIN!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
You're so special. There's fucking billions of you and you'll go away like everyone will. You think you won't get old and die, have some bad news for you. Fucking being so stupid that you want to pick at older people. What happens when you are old as them? You hate your parents aswell? Maybe the womb that shat you out annoys you. I'm not what you say but smarter than you apparently. What exactly you think you have figured out. Nothing apparently.
You say lurk and lurk, but you apparently don't listen anyways. So you could stay here for a millennia if possible and get nothing out of it.
You don't even care about the video, just here to take a piss. You protect this board. The board needs protection from people like you instead. I don't care how long you have been here.
Aiden Morales
can't tell if og, then looks at flag, then... 50/50
Nolan Smith
that is a jew
Carson Harris
TO BE PERFECTLY CLEAR I DO NOT SUPPORT NOR CONDONE ANY ACTIONS THAT COULD BE MISCONSTRUED OR INTERPRETED AS DOMESTIC TERROR
Benjamin Gray
"You've got digger's shoulders, right there. Well-toned tricepts and meaty deltoids, yessir, that's digger's shoulders. We have a lot of need for a man who can bury things around here. I'll be honest, the last four didn't cut it. They couldn't bury a dead cat, let alone a live one. I know, I followed them for days arund in my van. They don't dig for pleasure or for sport. They don't even own their own shovel. Not even a pickaxe. You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the way he buries something, Josh. It's a crucial thing."
Isaac Walker
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing
