How do I look like this?

Mfw born in the wrong era

Bronze age pirates were peak masculinity. They raided and pillaged entire villages, putting the men to the sword and seized the women for themselves.

Why was I born in this cursed era, this Kali-yuga?

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All chances are that you would have been a starving subsistence farmer paying tribute to the local warrior elite to enable them to go around sailing for loot and trade.

kys

Seethe BAPfag. Your childish fantasy is a massive cope for your failure.

I never finished this. I need to but I Just got kinda bored. It's written like a drunk-shit post which was funny at first but then I felt retarded reading it at work where it'd take one google search by someone to see the BAP community and response and label me as the work creep.

>be you
>be a massive faggot

You would have been that.
I wouldn't.
Wanna prove me wrong?

I was there. I remember it. Reincarnation.

OP was some scrub we put to the sword

That was already kali yuga

fite me irl bro
im a thirteenth degree black belt in nenketsu(this is what real badasses know ninjitsu is called)

I guess the diet hasn't changed much since the Illiad. Just eat what middle class greeks eat and you should be good.

>Man I wish I live in [some time more than 300 years ago]
>You will miss toilets
>You will miss warm showers
>You will miss food that doesn't make you shit your pants
>You will miss not having to worry you won't get stabbed tomorrow
Motherfuckers failing life in the comfiest era of our species thinking they can be a Man and a Chad at the roughest moments of history.

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The levels of unrealistic fantasy in this thread are astounding. Keep imagining that being a pirate was somehow a life that was chosen, and not one of brutal necessity. Same for all you viking wank-offs.

I live downtown, I am worried about being stabbed.

YOU would.

Men werent built from or for comfort, faggot pantyboy.

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>You will miss toilets
Just shit where you please, no cops around to arrest you for public indecency

>You will miss warm showers
Heat some water in a pot over fire and fill up your cozy bathtub

>You will miss food that doesn't make you shit your pants
Try cooking it with fire

>You will miss not having to worry you won't get stabbed tomorrow
I live in Brooklyn, NY

The only things I’ll miss are video games and anime.

>you will miss toilets
rome literally had a sewer system

I am third world I have none of these things.

Have you tried being white?

Venezuela is white.