Times you used your muscles IRL

Part 1/3
>be me
>literal definition of a gymcel
>finally get a match on Tinder
>seems super into me complimenting my shirtless gym selfie
>think I'm getting mired hard
>get her snap
>sends me a mirror selfie in gymthot clothes and there's all this disassembled furniture in the room
>tells me she just moved to a new place and might need a hand assembling her bed *wink emoji* and gives me her address

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Go put it together but set it up to fall apart

Part 2/3
>I hop in my shitbox car and burn rubber
>park on a side street hiding my car and walk over to her place
>she buzzes me in and hugs me tightly she's in a bathrobe and smells nice
>already have a raging erection
>takes my hand and leads me to her bedroom
>there's just a bunch of poles on the floor and no mattress
>she says she had it delivered today and doesn't know how to put it together
>have a quick look at the instructions for this piece of shit IKEA-tier bed frame and just twist in all the poles with her
>thank god for the "Dad How Do I?" youtube channel
>still struggle to assemble the bed frame and ask her where the mattress is
>she smiles and laughs and says it's downstairs
>walk down and there's this queen bed propped up against the wall in its plastic cover
>she squeezes my bicep and says "I was never gonna get this up myself but now that I've got your muscles...*wink*"
>try to make some alpha joke about picking her up instead and she just kinda smiles
>drag this huge fucking bed into the elevator
>get squished against the elevator wall as it falls on me and she's on the other side pressing the button
>heave this heavy as fuck mattress down the carpeted hallway while this girl just walks ahead to open her door
>get it stuck in the doorway and have to tip it forward and push it through
>finally drag the fucking thing into her room
>set up like a deadlift, flip up the side and awkwardly drag it onto the bed frame I set up earlier and wiggle it into place so it's square on
>girl gives a little clap and says "yay you did it" and reaches into her wardrobe for some linen
>help her put the mattress cover on and the blanket and all these pillows
>figure I can still segue into making a move

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Part 3/3
>she walks out of the bedroom and I'm left standing there for a few second wondering what's happening
>walk out and she's over by her fridge with two glasses on the counter
>she says "I was going to offer you a drink of water before you go but my roommate didn't fill the jug"
>I haven't yet processed what she means so I ask "what have you got on for the rest of the night?"
>she walks over and opens the door to her apartment and stands in front of the handle gesturing for me to leave with her body and says "I've actually got friends coming over soon cause we're going out tonight"
>I'm just beginning to realise what's happening
>she asks "you parked in the street didn't you?"
>feeling like the biggest cuck on earth I give this pitiful chuckle and say "yeah" as I walk toward the door
>turn around once I'm just outside and begin to say "what are you doing on Saturday"
>she quickly says "I'm usually busy on weekends but thank you" whilst literally closing the door on me
>having just been crowned kind of the beta males I go out of the building
>I can't even look at my own reflection in the elevator
>walk through the streets to where I parked my car
>sit inside and scream for a good 30 seconds
>death grip the wheel and speed my way home feeling nothing bu pure rage and self hate

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rape and kill her

All you had to say was let’s see if it’s sturdy and then fuck her

Or you should’ve said wait I think I left my wallet by the bed and broke her bed and everything

I hate you more than her in this story you pathetic faggot.

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Fucking simpleton

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