A coomer bait thread died for this

Do women really?

Lol 100% dude. Also I'm not circumcized and sometimes she will run over and pinch the tip so it balloons up and then when she lets go it explodes everywhere... I don't know why because again then she just has to clean it up. But she finds it hilarious and I honestly couldn't care less.

nigga

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i want a girl to piss on me bros
lifts for this feel

Stick to porn. It sounds hot until you do it in person and realize you have a nose.

>get on dating site
>girls shilling their inst
>girls saying if you don't have inst you're suspicious
>make an inst account and add any thots i see there
>open it up
>first thing i see is single mother posting a video of her painting her son's nails
>and i think she is even doing the bit where her son's dad is still her 'friend' so he is around but he is not putting a stop to this

>But she finds it hilarious
Yeah. 100% of the women I've been with have found penises in general to be hilarious and the act of peeing with them really interesting.

Try doing a helicopter with your pp. Guaranteed her sides will be in orbit.

>Stick to porn. It sounds hot until you do it in person and realize you have a nose.
Do it in the shower.

same

Lol the helicopter is great but she prefers the old high speed thwack and whack... you just use your hips to swing it front to back so it claps your stomach then butt. You can get some good speed going and it makes a great sound.

Wtf is this thread :DDD
the hilarious thing is that everything posted is fucking true

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How would you know, virgin?

Ya I'm not sure how this ended up on /fit but I'm here for it.

>Try doing a helicopter with your pp. Guaranteed her sides will be in orbit.
>she prefers the old high speed thwack and whack
Kek, congrats on having such great gfs anons, it's inspiring

Lol don't worry bro this board is full of autists. Girls aren't all bad.

My gf wanted to do this aswell. She's my wife now

Wait did we just figure out the secret to women? If she doesn't ask to hold your dick fuck the bitch and leave real quick?

It didn't die user. You put it down. Thank you.

>implying that the smell isn't the best part

>Also I'm not circumcized and sometimes she will run over and pinch the tip so it balloons up and then when she lets go it explodes everywhere.
Nothing ever posted on Any Forums has made me want a gf more than this. I AM going to make it.

Women being weird about piss thread? Don’t mind if I do

>have an ex 5ish years ago
>kind of silent bitchy type
>when she wasn’t being loud bitchy type
>would demand to watch me pee
>got mad if I kick her out of the bathroom so I could take a shit
>would sit on bathtub edge and stare at the dick while pissing
>she progresses to holding it while I piss
>eventually moved to swiping her hand across the stream
>never realized she just wanted a golden shower but was never brave enough to ask

>current gf
>seems to be revolted by piss
>when she’s pissing I’ll walk into bathroom and start peeing into toilet between her legs
>she screams and yells at me for being disgusting the whole time I’m pissing
>I finish and leave
>she mad
>10 minutes go by
>angrily says to get on the bed
>have initiated sex this way at least 4 times in the last couple months

Good post

My wife has also asked me to do this

Yes, you fucking virgin

why?

I'm an ear rumbler (look it up), I spent too much of my childhood convinced I was so close to developing psychokinesis because of this.

I assume its just curiosity cos you know they dont have male genitals i guess bro i dnno senpai

>babe come here babe and hold my wiener while I pee

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Freud wasn’t totally off base with the penis envy thing, exgf like to hold my dick while we slept too.

>let her do this
>she starts directing the piss stream all over the place making a huge mess
>refuses to clean it since it's not her piss and she takes no responsibility

What the fuck other people got wives out of that? I have terrible luck with women.

Apparently this is a common trait among women.
How do you even find girls like this?

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Omg, I thought I was the only one!

me too

I don't touch my peen when I pee. I lift it up with the waistband of my boxers.

did op just create new coomer thread

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Jiggly...

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LOL my girlfriend always gets soooo mad when I pee between her legs. Probably because I also have bad aim. Just say if you don't wanna pee together why even be together. She usually then says she fucking hates me and smiles. But if you really wanna annoy them. Wait until they are washing their hair in the shower with their eyes closed and then pee really hard at their belly button like you are trying to win the water canon game at the carnival.

same and it took forever for people to come up with a word for it

Yo you guys honestly don't know how lucky we are to be able to control the tensor tympani. Want to change your life? Exercise it. Take a deep breath and engage. Make your ears rumble for as long as you can pushing up with your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Do this five times in a row. Not only does it help strengthen the ability it equalizes the pressure and is an amazing stress releaser. It is literally amazing.

Huh? I'm one too. Didn't know there was a name for it and that most people can't do it. I can also wiggle my ears

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I used it to drown out the sound of my parents fighting. So stress during adolescence started my mutant powers.
I'm joining the X-Men, see you virgins.

Ya I use it to drown out my thoughts when I get stressed out. Kind of like it clears the ram.

Now since you use it at least somewhat regularly, do you just hear rumbles or a tone I suppose like tinnitus?

>freud wasn't totally off base
he was well within the top 0.1% of smartest people to ever live, obviously he wasn't totally off base

you should hang yourself

Dated a girl when I was in college who asked if she could do it. We were both a bit tipsy.

Its kind of between the two. It still rumbles but the sound is loud and full enough that it blocks out way more external noise. Kind of like tinnitus but low pitched instead of high.

I kind of get both, especially of I do it hard. Just making sure i wasn't fucking something in my ears.

Lol no I think you are all good dude.

this is why we need men's right

>If she doesn't ask to hold your dick
>fuck the bitch and leave real quick
you sir are a poet

stop being coomers or you'll end like this one day:
youtube.com/watch?v=W6NfDESw4mQ

consuming reddit content through a tts video on youtube is 10 billion times more pathetic than those looser coomers

jkek just noticed.

Lol thanks brah. I'm fiterally Dr. Seuss.

I never realized some people couldn't do this
It always happens when I yawn, or if I'm trying to make myself yawn for some reason, the rumble starts first.

Ya it sucks to be them. Especially on airplanes or anywhere with rapid changes in air pressure because I have always found it the easiest way to get my ears to pop.

I can do it but my ears don't pop. If they did it would be super fucking handy as a scuba diver.

Oh no dude you can you just need to figure it out. You activate the tensor tympani and while its rumbling quickly move your chin down and your jaw away from your face. This opens the eustachian tubes and allows the pressure to equalize. I took a while but I can now do it consistently.

Not that user but can also do this, learned I could because I had to pop my ears when swimming and learned how to manually pop them. I could never equalize the pressure after though so I was just stuck like that. Having a hard time visualizing this, would it be possible for you to draw it out or send a webm?

Lol. If I shut my eyes very hard I can hear some sort of rumble. Never though it was something of note.

yeah but they just want to catch a sip

Yeah this is sort of sabotaging my women hating ways

>when she’s pissing I’ll walk into bathroom and start peeing into toilet between her legs
I've always wanted to do this

Lol that's the start of it. See if you can do it other ways like clenching your jaw or opening your mouth really wide like yawning and find the commonality. When you learn to engage it feels kind of like you are trying to wiggle the inside of your ear.

I tried to draw it... but the result would undoubtedly be more confusing. The best way I can describe it is you open your jaw as wide as possible as if you are going to yawn and then quickly use the muscles on the side of your face to flex your neck making a popeye face. When you tighten the muscles in your neck also rumble your ears and you should be able to equalize the pressure.

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You would be surprised dude. Most girls only act the way they think will get them what they want. Most haven't thought through any of the bullshit they spew. You generally don't even need to find a great one. They can be fixed. You just need to not hate them because honestly it is only like half their fault.

>Freud wasn’t totally off base
as with anything. man was always spot on. so much so that people hate him nowadays for telling the most painful truths.

lol i certainly don't know about always spot on... but the man was incredibly intelligent.

This is some of the most random shit I have ever seen on fit. How did it start with penis holding girlfriends and end with guides to brain rumblin.

>girls aren't all bad

huh I literally just realized I can do this from this thread, you mean to tell me people can't do it?

Yeah, i remember an instance when i was around 14 and telling people how weird it is that you have to "put pressure" on your ears in order to yawn. Noone knew what i was talking about after trying to explain it for 10 mins. Just like when i said that its funny that when you want to "whisper" with your inner voice that its just as loud as trying to "yell" with it. Years later i found out about the different thinking patterns humans have (voice, pictures etc)

these are the best threads

rules one and two