Hey fellow jewbros, i know youre lurking. I am going to be converting to Judaism soon. Any tips I should know to make the process easier? I am already learning to read/write/speak hebrew and an familiar with the Torah, Talmud, Zohar, etc.
Converting to Judaism
Brayden King
Ethan Jones
good move, I wish you well.
once you have become jewish, marry a black non-jewish woman and have children. that way you spread judaism and your fellow jew will definitely not seethe because the religion is not an elitist and racist faith that preaches about the evils of assimilation
Ian Jenkins
stab your dick repeatedly with sharp objects to get used to the pain
because circumcision is mandatory and without anaesthesia
Ethan Thompson
you will never be jewish.
Jeremiah Hughes
thanks bro! not attracted to the darkies though, sorry! well maybe a fit tan tomboy, that would be cool.
I am a mutt, 90 percent of us are already cut anyway, seethe memeflag
I beg to differ
Logan Rogers
Step one enter /uhg/
Step two get VPN and multiple phones
Step three talk about how great Ukraine is and how they are winning, you know just like the jewish media
Step 4 be noticed
Step 5 recruitment
Step 6 get shekels
Step 7 get Talmud
Step 8 ????
Step 9 Nothingness without end
Cameron Hughes
itim.org.il
>Lifestyle Requirements
>Depending on the conversion program, conversion candidates are either required or encouraged to adopt a traditional Jewish lifestyle, including observance of Shabbat, Jewish festivals, and kosher laws. Non-Jewish spouses are required to convert. In State conversions, children of converts are required to be enrolled in Israel’s public religious school system.
>“Adoptive” Families
>Conversion candidates typically establish ties with “adoptive” families to learn how to put Jewish tradition into practice. Relatives or acquaintances may serve as adoptive families; ulpan teachers may assign them. In State conversions, “adoptive” families must certify that they have met with conversion candidates, and recommend that they proceed with the conversion process.
Cooper Ramirez
itim.org.il
>Conversion Courts
>Conversion candidates generally meet with conversion court representatives at least twice during the study period (at the beginning of the process, and when they complete their studies). The State conversion program monitors candidates’ studies and lifestyle, and obtains reports and recommendations from teachers.
>At the end of their study programs, candidates must appear before conversion courts to complete the conversion process. The courts’ rabbinic judges interview candidates to assess their knowledge of Jewish practice, and, in the case of State conversions, their observance of a traditional Jewish lifestyle. Following the interviews, judges discuss the cases, and render decisions. If they are satisfied that a candidate is fully prepared, they will authorize the conversion. If not, they will highlight areas that require improvement, and may assign further study before the candidate can reappear before the court.
>Ritual Circumcision
>Upon successful completion of conversion court interviews, men are required to undergo ritual circumcisions or hatafot dam (a symbolic procedure for circumcised men). Members of the conversion courts or witnesses attend the procedures to certify that they are properly completed. Boys under the age of 18 must be accompanied by parents or guardians.
>Following the procedures, conversion candidates recite several passages, and are given Hebrew names.
>Ritual Bath Immersion
>The last step in the conversion process for both men and women is immersion in a mikveh (ritual bath). Candidates recite the Sh’ma Yisrael prayer, accept the mitzvot (commandments), and take Hebrew names.
Brayden Moore
when you become a jew kill your self and then you will see for yourself why you should've never become it
Josiah Garcia
haha...the jews will never really accept you.
also your jewish wife's family will REALLY never accept you.
dumb fuck.
Christian Davis
Become a reform jew, they're the evangelicals of judaism and you don't have to do anything to convert but read a verse from exodus.
Brandon Adams
kill yourself. Kill your jew family first.
Parker Thompson
>90 percent of us are already cut anyway
if you are already circumcised, they will chop your dick anyway, no excuses
Tyler Butler
>Any tips I should know to make the process easier?
kys
Jayden Rogers
10/1o bait, quite original actually
Tyler Ortiz
Thanks bro, Ill get right on that. I will start by smashing cactus's into my dick, thats a pretty good start right?
;)
yeah some won't, not my problem since I do have differing idea's than many orthodox.
yeah this is where I am being lead since I have completely different views on circumcision and some practices
>a leaf
Michael Wilson
thanks conquistador bro, you guys just had to rape all those hot native babes didn't you? Now their mutt spawn are over running the southern part of the USA.
Noah Cox
>Any tips I should know to make the process easier?
dont do it we dont want you I dont like any converts
Nathaniel Butler
if you as a jew mary a non jewish woman your kids are not jewish
Isaac Jackson
that's strange, your laws and rabbis say otherwise.
Jaxon Morales
Fuck off, we're full.
Robert Hall
>Become a reform jew
good idea
in non orthodox Judaism, you can get your dick cut and sucked by female mohel!
finally equal rights for women!
en.wikipedia.org
>Non-Orthodox Judaism allows female mohels, called mohalot (מוֹהֲלוֹת, plural of מוֹהֶלֶת, 'mohelet', feminine of mohel), without restriction. In 1984, Dr. Deborah Cohen became the first certified Reform Jewish mohelet; she was certified by the Berit Mila Program of Reform Judaism.
Brayden Stewart
>I beg to differ
You will never be a real israelite.
You have nonefesh ha'elokit, you havemust have some chutzpah. You are a mishugana gentile man twisted by delusions into a cruel mockery of hashems perfection.
All the “naches” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your goyish appearance behind closed doors.
yidden are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed jews to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even goyim who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a yid. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk jewess home with you, she'll turn tail and bolt the second she geta a whiff of your diseased, non kosher shlong
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your non hebrew name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton in a non jewish cemetery.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
Alexander Carter
they dont practice judiasm
>differing idea's than many orthodox.
kys
>being lead
we dont consider the 'religon' they practise judiasm no one regonized the conversions they make as valid
Jacob Kelly
the rabbis have to, I speak for the lay jews we will always hate you
Ethan Ross
and our resentment of you will make the rabbi hate you also to appease us, many of the poeple who dont aceptence of converts would never let there kids marry one you wont here that said but I assure you we discuss such matters when were all alone