My work bully said he's gunna kick my ass. I'm scared I've never been in a fight before

My work bully said he's gunna kick my ass. I'm scared I've never been in a fight before.

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Hit him with the good ol' one-two.

I've never hit anyone before and he's really intimidating

Report it to HR/boss
That way when he kicks your ass, you can own the company for not stopping it.

/thread

I don't want my ass kicked

If you can't beat 'em, groin 'em.

where do you work?

A call center for insurance

Literally tell HR. Being a bully in real life has consequences. Sometimes those consequences are getting fired. Most companies have policies explicitly stating that threats or hostile work environments are grounds for firing.

Hang on a second, what exactly happened that kickstarted this? Did you push him around or anything or did he just decide that he was going to whoop your ass?

He just want to beat me up. I don't know why

He always messes with my stuff. He's stolen my lunch from the fridge and sometimes bumps into me on "accident"

I don't know about your generation, but I had a coworker threaten to shoot me. I told him make the first shot count because I know where he lives.

Has he threatened you in person? Or was it through text, phone, or email?

He walked by my desk and said he was gunna kick my ass. He already put in a 2 week notice so this is his last week here

Pack a tuna and cat turd sandwich. A bowl of spaghetti with a used tampon in it the next day.
A salad with syrup of ipecac dressing the next.

Wait, are you a tranny?

Are you like a super small manlet to be scared of this guy?

Carry a knife in your boot. When he attacks, fall down, grab the knife and gut him like a fish.

Get some work buddies to give him a wedgie and a swirlie to show him.

OP clearly doesn't have any friends.

I asked my brother to fight him for me but he said no. Probably because he's younger than me but he's actually been in a fight

Protect your chin and hit his.
Throw a headbutt in grappling exchanges.

If he's bigger and he instigates it kick him in the nuts. Might lose some dignity but not going to lose the fight.

Woke up this morning, got yourself a gun.

I'm 5"6 and my body type is pic in op

It is "by accident" you fucking troglodyte.

Aim for his neck (if you want to kill him) and balls

This. If you swallow your pride/fear, letting a dude hit you at work is a free ticket to money and special treatment. You'll be laughing when the retard has to go to jail and then pay you for the privilege of hitting you.