I'm a game developer. Been working on a passion project for about a decade. Finally get to be a few months out from launch, working odd jobs just to get by, only to come to the realization that I'll likely lose everything I have before I even get there. The odd jobs aren't enough, all my actual career aspirations keep falling through, but rent is still due every month. Working like this isn't living. Can't do a Kickstarter because it violates agreements with third party technology licenses. So I have no choice but to struggle and suffer because a company we're partnered with is full of pricks.
Game is almost done, literally fully playable start to end, and I'll likely end up killing myself before it's even out. World just keeps getting worse every day and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
have you tried drinking lots of beer until you dont feel feelings anymore?
Juan King
I'll buy it nigga
Zachary Thomas
You fell for the game dev as a career meme. Game dev should be something you do as a hobby besides your boring programming job. Also, are you soloing?
Charles Ortiz
If you're almost done just sit in the pain soup for a bit. Sure it sucks, hurts real bad, makes you want to die. And that's okay feel all those feelings. Just don't act on them. Let your own nervous system take care if it and just embrace being in agony for a bit. It's not forever, not even likely that long, it will suck ass for sure some times it'll make you feel insane. But just sweat it out and when your game is done you'll get to rest on your laurels and it will have been worth it.
Daniel Rodriguez
>whines about game >doesnt show game
is it that bad?
Lincoln Bennett
Some beer. Lots of vodka and weed. Helps a bit.
Yeah I know it's a meme but it's all I've ever wanted to do. But as a game designer, finding a job in my role is difficult. Was soloing for 6 years until I formed a team.
Jaxon Green
user, no. Gamedevs dont check out. You're not a nodev. Use patreon to survive, not kickstarter, and slog through until you're on steam or whatever platform you're slinging on.
Jaxon Allen
>Game designer Don't tell me you don't even program. Game design is a job any programmer or artist can do. It's the biggest meme job there is. Especially on indie games.
Luis Powell
Been trying. Just real difficult to keep telling myself the same shit after almost a decade.
Not showing it because I don't want to associate my game with my depression fueled posts on Any Forums lol. It's good, really good. Only issue is our entire ending is still in developer textures.
Can't do Patreon either. Considered profiting on the game pre-release, which we're not contractually allowed to do.
I can program and do level design. I'm just surrounded by savants who outpace me in every regard, so I constantly feel that my code is worthless.
Ayden Martin
kek, kys now. Who tf comes crying to Any Forums for picking the wrong business partner? You brought this on yourself moron, I hope your game fails and gets reviewed into oblivion
Blake Jenkins
It sounds like you're just a fucking retard.
Grayson Sanders
I always wanted to be a game designer user. You're living my dream. Instead I'm a wage slave with 2 kids and a wife, and notebooks full of games that will never be, and consoling myself by making crappy art for projects that will never exist.
Keep trying and work harder for what you want or do something else with your life. A lot of people have it way worse off than you, including me lol. Life's too short to be stressed out all the time. Make changes. Work on yourself as a person.
Elijah Gutierrez
do tell what meaningful things you've done with your lives, anons.
You can do it too, especially if you're able to make art at all.
No amount of working on myself as a person will pull me out of my current situation. I work at either my real jobs, or on the game, nearly every moment of the day. I do not make enough to survive, and I will not make it much longer. It's not really easy to "not be stressed out all the time" when you constantly have a gun to your head in some form.
Jackson Roberts
Are you seriously trying to imply that your failing game started by selling yourself out to some company is "meaningful" Holy fuck dude, gtf outta here
Thomas Garcia
My "failing game" was started when I was literally 14. It's been a passion project ever since, and has brought together people that I would have never met without it. We didn't "sell out". We licensed an engine. Unity and Unreal both suck, and any alternatives are severely underdeveloped.
So yes, it's meaningful. SMD.
Elijah Taylor
Kek, sellout failing at a kid's game trying to make excuses to internet strangers as to why his life sucks >ITS SO MEANINGFULLLLL >THATS WHY I CANT RESIST KILLING Y DUMB RETARDED FAGGOT ASS BEFORE ITS DONE
Christian Morales
>Not showing it because I don't want to associate my game with my depression fueled posts on Any Forums lol. So it sucks ass. You'll prbably end up killing yourself from all the reviews you'll get, might as well beat them to it.
Justin Johnson
Don't know where you got the "kid's game" bit from, it's definitely not kid friendly. I'll likely be homeless again before it's even out, but sure, the game is why I want to kill myself.
Testing has been overwhelmingly positive. Any issues were minor and have already been addressed. The game is damn good, but it's just not ready yet, and I've run out of time. Hey, at least I'm not some dipshit on Any Forums trying to push people to kill themselves like you. Hope it catches up to you.
Grayson Perez
You're using suicide as a method to gain attention here >boohoo, i'll kill myself cus my game sux bwaahh Grow up dude and a game designed by a 14yo sounds like a kid's game. Just because there's gore and mature themes doesn't mean it won't be some edgelord mess that only works well for sonic fans. But hey, keep making claims of how great it is without actually sharing it because you're afraid people will associate your game with your convictions, like all the other cowards. I'm sure it really it as great as you think it is in your head. And your mommy thinks you're special too.
Julian Powell
>Hey, at least I'm not some dipshit on Any Forums trying to push people to kill themselves like you. Hope it catches up to you. oh, look, the mindset of a 14yo. I'm sure we can trust a 14yo to come up with a good narrative and setting right? How are you designing a game and calling it good when you're too autistic to even notice that I'm not being literal? If that same mindset is what's calling the game good, it's probably a new train simulator or some shit How are you going to design something for an audience when you can't even properly tell what they want? I'll tell you how: You don't Goddamn autist
