I've got to stop this, bros...

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lol, ur just a fag. jesus christ

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That's the shitty part, she's incredibly vanilla and wouldn't go for it AT ALL. She has even said that she doesn't find black guys attractive and gets jealous if another woman even looks my way lmao.

She's great otherwise, which is why I want to be able to treat her properly

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I told my girlfriend last year about this BBC kink and was dead set on slowly getting her into it too.
She kept saying she liked that I enjoyed it, but wasn't into it herself beyond some roleplay.
Now she pretty much exclusively watches BBC porn after I showed her some subreddits, and wants to try one for her birthday next year.
This sounds hot but trust me bro, there are moments of post nut clarity where you regret everything and want to kill yourself, and she's just happily discussing what kind of guy she wants to fuck in front of you.
Quit whole you can man.

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well if the relationship ever turns sour and just unload all of these feelings onto her and call her a boring ass bitch. That'll wake her up, otherwise you'll just have to keep it on the down low homie. I still wish I told my ex I was into this and a bit bi but it is what it is

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Whilst she'd be up for normal porn MAYBE, never in a million years would she be up for what I like. She'd leave me lol

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Just stop watching porn, it's not hard.
Nobody has a gun to your head

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Yeah it's the post-nut clarity that kills me. I'll be 10000% into it, and then as soon as I bust I regret it.

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so I'm guessing you think everyone is like that? That's sickening dude grow up, nobody cares about random discord servers you want to promote and talk about

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Addiction is hard when it's an extension of your emotiojnal surpression. All they have to do is come out of the closet, really. But I guess waiving away responsibility and acting like you're the victim of some sort of internet video is easier for some people.

Literally me, even the 'its hot that you enjoy it'. My gf didn't find black guys attractive at all, but she likes big dicks, and I just slowly kept planting the seeds of BBC and now she literally yell I want a big black cock while I fuck her. Makes me nut so hard and then I'm just left there thinking what the hell is wrong with me

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Let me put it another way: the actual experience will be nothing like what you see on amateur videos or whatever, even those are set up and fake to make it seem better than it was.

You'll be sitting there, watching a guy who is way better than you in every way imaginable basically use your loving girlfriend freely? Hot right?

No, you'll be sitting there with a weird mix of horniness and absolute fucking shame at how stupid you were.

Oh yeah, and when you actually cum? That post nut clarity won't go away. Good luck looking at more content without that gut wrenching shame going through you.

Look up any forum online to see stories of people who've done this. Once you pull the trigger, boom, relationship over forever, and you will never fix what you broke inside of you.

how do you know that? also if you dont feel attracted to her anymore then why do you care?

sage

Shit that is really fucked up. I honestly do want to be better, both for myself and for her.
It just feels hard, like I've opened a pandora's box and part of me is like "try it, you only live once right?", even though the consequences are insane.

I need to fix myself or I might as well break up and just accept that I've fucked my brain up

it's okay to envy her body, there's nothing wrong with wanting to look cute, and if that makes you happy you should go for it

prioritize your happiness, ask yourself what you'd need to be happy, imagine how your life should look for you to be happy, and pursue that

if you need this to be happy, which is fine despite what many people will tell you, you should first try to include her, you don't seem to think she'd be interested in the kink, but you can lightly try some less extreme interracial content

but at the very least she should be fine with you wanting to look cute and stuff, you can talk to her about using her clothes, learning how to do your hair, how to work out to get a cuter body, makeup, etc

if she doesn't agree to any of that, but you want it, I'm gonna tell you it may be livable right now, but after some time passes, it's gonna start to get torturous for the both of you because neither of you are living the lives you want

and even worse, if she gets angry at all of that, that means she doesn't accept you for who you are and what you like, and that's not something you should tolerate, you need confidence in yourself and in your pursuit of your happiness :d

Black cock is nasty bro

I just know her, we've been together over a year now and the risk in even trying is so insane that it's not worth it.

Whilst sexually I cum harder looking at porn these days, I can still cum with her, and she's so lovely and amazing outside of a sexual context as well

I tried masterbaiting to non-interracial recently. I can still get hard, but I just can't cum without it.

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then what is your problem? sounds LARPy

its faggotry dude, holy fuck. ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD
Just break up and let your gf "have a real man"
stupid assholes

That's very kind user and I totally agree in principle.

I don't know if it 100% applies to me here because all this desire could just be from a porn addiction, like this isn't the real me. Half of me wants to go cold turkey and essentially starve the kink until it hopefully goes away, and the other wants to indulge even if just to try it to know but the ramifications are severe (betraying my gf or telling her and her likely leaving me)

Just from knowing her I know that even coming out as bi would be a huge knock on the relationship as she suffers quite badly from self-esteem issues and would likely worry even more about me just leaving for someone else.

I want to pursue my happiness for sure, I just need to know that I'm pursuing the right thinig.

Thank you for the message though, It does make me think :D