What should I do with my new pet?

Just caught this magpie and put it in a cardboard box, dubs decides what I do with it.

I am not a fucking psycho so anything involving sex, torture, or killing it will be ignored. Don't wast a suggestion.

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Secure its box with toy soldiers or give it a tiny sword to defend itself

feed it well and release it so it can tell all of his bird friends how awesome humans are

Train it to say racial sours and set it free

this tbh
magpies are extremely intelligent and social animals and they suffer alone

Eat it.

heya dad, where ya been?

Right, I guess I need to catch another one too

>I am not a fucking psycho so anything involving sex, torture, or killing it will be ignored.

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Kill it with knife

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release it in a public restroom idfk

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Paint it pink

catch another

name it Wilfred
>dubs get

First, do research. Look up proper magpie care and diet. Next, socialize. Feed it by hand always. Be around it as often as possible.

release it

Teach it tricks with coins

Take it for a short car ride and let it go where you caught it

eat it

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Let it go free

free it

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acquire a friend for him

pet it’s head

If you love someone, set them free.

winrar

winner

teach it omni liberal methodologies

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mix nicotine products in with it's food to cause addiction.

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Or you could just give it the whole cigarette