>be me >20yo >student >live in shared flat with 2 other dudes >1 low IQ stoner >1 brotype guy >everyone pays for their own food >stoner never cleans, leaves dirty pans out until they mold, steals my food, uses my toothpaste, etc... >denies it when I confront him, even tho his own stuff ran out weeks ago >get fed up with this son of a bitch >devise plan to fuck with him until I finally move out >brodude is at his parents´ for a few days >buy syringes and new toothpaste for myself >jizz into cup >soak up jizz and squirt it into my own decoy toothpaste at night >place it in a special position and take pics for reference >picrel >wake up next day to check up on it >ITS IN A DIFFERENT POSITION >motherfucker brushed his teeth with my jizz >continue the whole thing for weeks >toothpaste is basically 90% cum now >he doesnt realize >eventually he moves out >tell brodude about it weeks after stoner left >we kek all day >2 years later >meet brodude at cityfestival with his new flatmates from the same flat back then >they all know the story >one guy looks at me like I´m some A-list celeb >asks brodude If I´m actually THE toothpaste user >"yeh thats him" >looks at me in awe >he was so close to ask for an autograph lmao >they keep telling me the story is legendary >kek all night
Thats the story how I became the toothpaste user. I left some stuff out about the asshole since it wouldve made the whole story way too long.
built up hate from having to endure someone as nasty and assholish as him. there isnt really a good way to manipulate onions, which he mainly stole from me, and other foods, also i hate wasting food so toothpaste was the only way.
this is the farthest from a larp you´ll ever read nigger
Juan Parker
Congratulations on making him eat your nut his t levels are going to skyrocket so much he's going to be fucking your future girlfriends before you even know they exist.
Lincoln Martinez
You could get into a FUCKLOAD of trouble for that user. Next time just get some hot pepper juices or some other obvious yet mostly harmless irritant that by the time you notice it it's too late instead. You can buy things like habaneros in grocery stores, same for seeds to grow some REALLY nasty ones. He also didn't learn his lesson if he never figured it out and probably still does the same shit somewhere else. You basically did the frog in a boiling pot trick to him with the flavor of jizz and that's it.
Holy shit that's a lot of typing to post absolute bullshit. Feel better? What a fucking queer.
Brody Lee
This made me happy, thank you toothpaste user
Zachary Johnson
Yeah well no one forced him to use my toothpaste. Maybe I like to brush my teeth with jizz? Its his fault when he's too lazy and cheap to buy his own shit.
Nathan Nelson
100% true
Yw anonbro
Isaac Davis
Sure he's a retard and shouldn't have used your shit but you still left a booby trap that could put you on the registry. NEVER include your own bodily fluids in things like this, that's a can of worm you don't want opened in a court room. Not saying don't get the moron, but there's a lot of other "stay out of my shit" pranks that are FAR less risky to you.
Landon Scott
How would that go over? I mean, it was his property.
Jaxon King
yeah and how would they prove it was with malicious intent?
Ayden Gomez
This. If I covered my entire house with jizz, and someone broke in, and slipped and fell, could they sue me for damages?
Maybe I just want to cover my house with jizz?
Colton Watson
It'd be about the cum booby trap, the toothpaste theft doesn't even register by comparison. While "he shouldn't have stolen my stuff" still has a chance of saving him it's not nearly as likely as him getting in deep shit. I'm 100% sure any prosecutor worth their salt would crush him. He left it out knowing his roommate would use it.
How often do you brush your teeth with your own cum carefully injected into toothpaste? The malicious intent isn't exactly hidden here. At least with habanero juice you can claim it's got anti-microbial properties or something.
You didn't exactly hide that your house is covered in jizz as an intentional trap though did you?
Jaxson Ross
you´d have to prove that the toothpaste was left there as a boobytrap.
Colton Rogers
And how would that be hard to do? He even took pictures of putting it together and out where it'd be stolen. It's a tube of toothpaste he injected his own cum into then left out while getting a normal one to hide for his own use. It was such an obvious trap it's absurd to even try and claim otherwise. He even bragged about it. He would need an absolutely stellar lawyer and could still easily be fucked. The bodily fluids part makes the whole thing significantly worse.
Do you think a jury is going to look at this and think "nope, OP is just a massive faggot and brushes with cum every day for extra shine" or something?
Matthew Cooper
op is a homosexual obsessed with ejaculate
Austin Carter
>takes several weeks to get a nickname i fucked myself with a broom for only 2 minutes and am still known as the broomguy talk about efficiency
Andrew Robinson
AMA I live in my very own small flat in Berlin. Wooden floor, stuck ceilings and no room mates.
also you sound like a jerk. I think you need a serious beating.
