What's your favorite way to make conservatives chimp out?

What's your favorite way to make conservatives chimp out?

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Make them eat their beards

inject their kids with shit

tell them facts about reality

let them watch fox for an hour or two and then let them post about it on facebook. theyll do it to themselves.

this.
their circlejerks are an endless tsunami of perceived grievances, slights, and whining. I've read 400 posts of dudes whining about how their wife got a bed during labor and the husband did not.
They never get exposed to alternative views or even true information to counter the disinfo, so in their minds "everyone" feels they do, surely they are the "silent majority", and it has to be a vast jewish plot that everyone else is not aware that george soros uses contrails to turn boy scout scoutmasters gay.

gonna be real fun when all of the unskilled hick jobs get automated out of existence

no it wont. going to be a shitshow because between the prospect of widespread unemployment in addition to their ranks being swelled with literal incels, it becomes a recipe for armed unrest. Based around retarded idealogy for sure but the roots of it are in feeling worthless and there being no real place for them in modern society.
semi related, part of the christo-fascists have been playing the long game and are so hellbent on rolling us back to what they imagine the 50s were like (they obviously forget how high corporate taxes were back then which fueled that prosperity but whatever).

tell them that trans people exist

>'ve read 400 posts of dudes whining about how their wife got a bed during labor and the husband did not.
jesus, seriously? and these are the people going around calling others snowflakes and entitled?

>tell them facts about reality
>They never get exposed to alternative views or even true information to counter the disinfo, so in their minds "everyone" feels they do, surely they are the "silent majority",
yep. they swirl so far down the rabbit hole, and when theyre presented with actual facts that dont line up, its almost like some kind of cognitive break or dissonance and they cant handle it

>semi related, part of the christo-fascists have been playing the long game and are so hellbent on rolling us back to what they imagine the 50s were like (they obviously forget how high corporate taxes were back then which fueled that prosperity but whatever).
this. it seems like they all think "i can have my cake AND eat it too! i get everything!" not even realizing the actual saying is "you CANNOT have your cake AND eat it too."
its like they think they can alter the fabric of reality by yelling at the manager

>Based around retarded idealogy for sure but the roots of it are in feeling worthless and there being no real place for them in modern society.
i think that's already happening for a lot of them. but their politicians redirect the anger at immigrants and overseas jobs to distract them, while they continue to pass policies that hurt their voter base. its almost like a cycle of abuse

>some kind of cognitive break or dissonance
You see this also in every poll regarding obamacare in red counties. The affordable care act is extremely popular and they rate it high, but when you ask the same question about obamacare (which is what the affordable care act is) they ree about how awful it is and how its socialism and how they are so happy their senator or congressman overturned it.
Which of course they did not, but they've heard enough soundbites from the misleading GOP and they never look into it further, and the GOP is well aware that their base neither reads nor cares. Even when caught on a lie, if it makes the liberals upset that they doomscroll through on twitter while taking a shit, then they support the lie 100%.

I have yet to read a modern conservative policy that isn't something to fuck over poor people, women, or minorities, or an elaborate version of "no u".

>You see this also in every poll regarding obamacare in red counties. The affordable care act is extremely popular and they rate it high, but when you ask the same question about obamacare (which is what the affordable care act is) they ree about how awful it is and how its socialism and how they are so happy their senator or congressman overturned it.
yeah, absolutely. you ask people about how they use their medicaid expansion and they talk about how great it is, but when you slap that label of obamacare on it they lose their shit. it kind of solidifies the idea that theyre just running off of trigger words

>I have yet to read a modern conservative policy that isn't something to fuck over poor people, women, or minorities, or an elaborate version of "no u".
agreed. just look at how they fucked up with the PACT act and had to backtrack so hard on their votes for that. they miscalculated and tried too hard to "own da libs" not realizing that so much of THEIR support base supported the passing of the act. their political strategy is just to obstruct and act like a sassy 14 year old.

Its hard to get excited about liberal policies when every single major liberal city is a complete shithole.

Like there's not even love and acceptance. They are covered in bums, crime ridden, and the cost of living is insanely high. I have no idea why anyone would be inspired and energized by this way of governance.

Literally everything ((("the left"))) does is so forced and fabricated they have to argue their bullshit every other day. Stop being such a cock sucking Jew

Pic related: ((("the left"))) summed up in a nutshell

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lol you've never been to a city

>uuuhhhhh UMMMMM ACSHUALLY NO NO NO NO NO U GUYS ARE THE LIARS NOT US NO NO NO FUCK YOU JEW COCKSUCKER CONSPIRATOR
look kids, there's one now!

>look at how they fucked up with the PACT act and had to backtrack
i have to help a buddy get to the airport but if this thread sticks around, be some useful idiots are going to inform you of the insane pork in the bill and thats the real reason it was votes yes then no then yes on.
There is no pork and they wont be able to cite any, they didnt read it.
Similar to the access to contraception bill which republicans claimed they were forced to vote no because the bill funnels money to planned parenthood and subsidizes condoms for poor people. It does nothing of the sort of course, its only barely a two page bill and its literally what the title of the bill is and nothing about money.
They rely on their base being incredibly low info and it works wonders.

>be some usefu
*be aware some useful idiots

>too invested into the political dichotomy
it's not a young adult novel where if "conservatives = bad then liberals = good" by default

if only there were any good conservatives

If the nigger riots of 2020 ever move into the suburbs, buckle up. We have a lot of guns and money to defend ourselves in court.

Call them Jethro Bodine

The left can't meme because the left IS the meme

Do Americans ever get tired of posting about politics

Tell them you believe in equality

tell them i'm trans

kekd