I wish I was never born AMA

Would have preferred it warm like a tea so it's gentle? Nowadays? If I was drinking a cup of abortion juice, an abortion slurpee sounds kinda hard ngl.

> OP here
> Unfortunately not a faggot

Was born good looking even if I didn't realize it till a few years ago. Didn't help. Too much of a fucking autist. And poor. If I could choose to be born attractive or rich (enough to travel off parents money and never work again) I'd become the hunchback of Notre Dame before you could say "god damn that boy"

Never end things. An old friend of mine took their own life. His mom was grieving so hard for months, she couldn’t stop crying even blamed herself when their reasoning had nothing to do with her. She ended up having a heart attack and died.

and thank fuck for that man

> god isnt real, and if he is, he sure as shit aint merciful

To OP. Looks can only take one so far. Looks age like milk by the time everyone is in their 30s. As for being poor, even if you’re not, one tragic mistake, accident, or a major home issue can make you poor quickly.

This is prob the biggest reason I haven't an heroed yet. I've even expressed to her that while I love her if I could choose I'd choose not to be born at all cause the circumstances of my birth and the life I've lived haven't been great. She was obviously really sad but understood I think and I've been too guilty to bring it up since. My ADHD makes me procrastinate on calling a psychiatrist so I don't have a therapist to express this too, so here I am letting it out on an anonymous board like a fucking retard. And this wotn even help cause tomorrow I'll push off calling again for like the 12th month in a row and resent being poor.

One thing I learned in life after my brother died is that the only person that can help you is yourself. I used to crutch a lot in life leaning on my brother from advice to helping me out when things broke. Once he was gone, I was really by myself. It shocked me how no one, even when you pay them, will honestly help you. I been more and more teaching myself everything, even though I have major anxiety issues and worry about everything going from bad to life changing tragedy (even though most things aren’t). I been trying hard to make myself self reliant as I have horrible trust issues of people ever doing the right thing. Things in the last few years were extremely hard. I don’t think I ever got a chance to mourn properly because I had to be their for my parents that were devastated.

i know its gotta sound like dipshit advice, but ever set annoying alarmsto at least remind you?

To be self sufficient is a good goal, but im sure thats hard in your situation more than usual.A god step in this is coping mechanisms that are healthy outlets for frustration, fear, and gloom. are there any you frequent besides Any Forums?

Yes. Constantly. I used to schedule my entire day hour by hour, helped but I just move shit around. I put calling the psychiatrist in my calendar like months ago. Every day, I move the event to the next day or week. Have done this perpetually. I also set alarms, the ones that won't stop unless you answer math questions via an app, to do shit sometimes, and have to set 3 alarms to wake me up in the morning that I always move forward hours cause I work weekends and I'm lazy/super tired. The ADHD + autismo combo is a bitch man. It's a bitch, and very rarely in a good mood I can motive myself to do shit.

I'd like to be self sufficient too, and I'm working slowly towards that, but I hate how slow it's going for me and I know just getting medicated or mental health help could probably help a lot but I keep pushing it off. Keep telling myself I'd like to have a not shit life at 25, but if I keep pushing this shit off, it'll stay the same.

what kinda thing generally motivates you?

Fishing, kayaking, and motorcycling. All three of those were a no go after the motorcycle accident. I actually seen my mental health decline fast in the past month (fear, panic, worry, anxiety, and a feeling of extreme dread that something terrible is about to happen).
Luckily, I was able to fish for the first time this past weekend, so that helped. I also play video games, but not sure if I would classify it as a healthy outlet. More of a guilt pleasure if anything.

Rare bursts of energy to do shit that come on like manic states. I'll say I'll call the psychiatrist tomorrow, cause I know I need it, but we'll see if I sleep in or push it off again.

Gaming, in moderation can help some people, but im glad to hear you got out to something that helped you

I never did the medication or talk to someone route. Pride gets in my way. I always tried to have healthy outlets, like hiking, fishing, motorcycling, kayaking, skiing, etc. Sometimes, even just mowing the lawn helps. Keeping busy works. I forget the saying, but something about idle minds and something bad.

maybe you can attach it to something else, like you do it before or after, or you could try to hype yourself up with something

As for the pride getting in the way, I feel like this year is trying extra hard to break me. It felt like it came close too.

Find shit you enjoy doing. Most of my current hobbies I found in my 30s. 25 is a ways to go. You’re just feeling out your way in life. Make a 5 year plan. When I was 26-27 I spent two years with severe colitis. Once it was under control, on a whim, I applied to grad school and did computer science (community college). I enjoyed it. I did it more for myself than a career thing.
I tried a lot of different activities in my late 20s and early 30s including scuba lesions at the YMCA.