Get supped

You pick a superpower, but the post under you destroys your superpower.

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Shameless self bump.
I can read minds.

But only of retarded animals.

You read all minds, hear all 7 billion thoughts at once.
I can change size at will

telekinesis

But only while attending funerals.
I can breathe under water.

You can only read retarded peoples thoughts

Only while you are defecating.

You can breathe under water while masturbating
I can jump over entire buildings

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But only if the building is less than 3 weeks old

Unconditional omnipotence.

But you can't land safely.

Only when you cry

Super human strength

I can make everyone retarded.

But ONLY everyone. All at the same time, even yourself. It can't be reversed.

But you have to suck off anyone that you make retarded.

I can fly.

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only in your dreams

Only in space.

Only when masturbating.

Your anus gets wider the more you use your power.
I can kill niggers by saying their names three times.

But that's the only word that you can say, EVER.

I have X-ray vision

I lucid dream every night, and I get lucidity from the start of the dream to enjoy it all

But you have to befriend them for at least five years.

I can turn water into wine

But you only dream of Brendon Fraser.

I can trace any smell

But only fat women farts

I'm a shape shitter. My butthole can push out poop like a play dough fun factory

I can sense what women I have a chance to date.

except it's real poop

But you can't show anyone your skill.

I cum gold.

This power already fucks its self
>I can shit on command

Lmao, I can deal with that

its 4 karat gold, and your dick flames up after you finish

I can hack shit, and manipulate the strings that control society to a limited degree. No lie.

You should get in on social engineering too.

It’s solid gold, and every nut is like a kidney stone

But only after you have sex with your father.
I'm your father.