Sayings or advice your father would give you when you were growing up. I'll start

“Don’t improperly” use quotation “marks”

"As I always say..." proceeding to say some bullshit he had never said before.

Your dad "sounds like he was a fag"!

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about"
I was crying cuz half of his family molested me. He's such a FUCKING loser

Genuinely kekked

"It is what it is"
I know it sounds a little corny but this saying has had tremendous impact on my life

omg get the fuck over it

That's not so bad

>youtube.com/watch?v=tkQrtX3kOTM

literally a Karen saying

"if you keep playing with barbie dolls, your uncle is going to treat you like a barbie doll"

my uncle died in prison a few years later, so i never did make any sense of this saying. girls have cuter toys, and i like barbies. uncle like to play barbie too maybe?

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“Live by the sword, die by the sword”

Your uncle probably played with his cell mate like a barbie doll

"I'm gonna show you a fun thing boys can do with each other, but you can't tell your mom, girls aren't allowed to know about it."

He wanted to rip your head off and put it on someone else's body

Ok dad

real men don't whine about shit like that. grow up

>"If I catch you playing twisted metal 2 I'm gonna throw the playstation out the window."

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On his death bed. "Son, you walk into a locker room... ya gonna see some dick."

"Try not to choke on it"

Watch the teeth or you’ll be leaving without them

"measure twice, cut once"

Kek

When accosted with advice when doing something:"hey who's fucking this cat anyway?"

Step father, but, I remember a lot of,
"Get your shit together," which was used as a catch all phrase. Could mean we were about to leave or go somewhere or I could be about to catch a beating, depending on inflection.

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I’m in my 40s & completely cut my dad out of my life about 15 years ago. I honestly can’t think of any decent advice from

I never had a dad. My uncle raised me.

"Gonna use your shit as lube"

>"Always suck as many black cocks as possible. Let them use like a little slut and make sure to record it so I can jack off to the videos."

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>Lesbians are degenerates and should not be respected
This is one of the main things I remember him saying when my mom sent me to go stay with him for 3 weeks in Las Vegas.

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“Dont go for women who have a fish face”

I dont know what he meant by but okay.

“Dont join the navy, its not what it once was”

Should have listened. He was correct, nonstop BS and people who had no idea what they were doing.

My dad never told me shit.

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Ok dad

Show ass

"If you cry I'm gonna give you something to really cry about" which was BS because I was literally choking on his cock

hahahahahasound advice right here

"Nice to meet you hungry, I'm dad"

Do you remember anything he used to say to you?

"Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos" (unzips his pants...ugh I'm so glad he is dead)