Why does enforcing your boundaries mean losing a guy forever?

Why does enforcing your boundaries mean losing a guy forever?

He was the nicest man I've met. At some point, we spent nearly every day with each other. I always lit up when I saw him, and I think he liked me too. But I just wasn't sure about us, and we never really talked about it. But we continued on as friends, even though everyone thought we were a couple. So after a while, I was feeling a bit tired, and frustrated by how it wasn't going anywhere. I loved how attentive he was, and enjoyed returning the favour. But it started to feel exhausting, and like we're only running through the same motions. And his constant hugging, which I used to like, started to feel a little too routine for my tastes.

So during our last couple months together, I tried to make it clear that I wanted space. Stood my ground, made myself stiffer and that I wasn't having it, laughed at his jokes less (his sense of humour was always my favourite thing about him), and tried to focus on our other friends more because I felt like I neglected them in favour of him. But it didn't seem like it went as well as I hoped it to. He seemed put off and miffed. He slowly distanced himself, and like he was more interested in our other friends now. It started to feel like he was avoiding, and that my presence felt awkward to him. His text messages grew shorter and less expressive (and his messages were also another thing I loved about him; I enjoyed reading them, even if I couldn't always think up of any good responses). And I think the last thing I said was when he tried to hug me, I told him "I already gave you a hug," and that was the last we saw each other.

It's been months now. I'm told he's avoiding me, because being around me apparently makes him "too sad" now. I haven't received any messages from him. And he's just gone. Like that. All because I wanted to enforce a little bit of boundaries.

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tits or gtfo

tits or gtfo

Holy fuck you’re a massive faggot

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nice digits

This is pasta, yes? No one's this stupid.

>This is pasta, yes?
If you can find proof it is.

This is fairly common for relationships. Though why is it on Any Forums when it's normieshit is a little puzzling.

>tl:dr
>pulled away from a guy she liked
>sad when he took the hint and ghosted her

Ya got what you asked for, babe...

You did not communicate your feelings. He took a hint. It's all on you. Thot.

Did you "make it clear you wanted space" with your words, or did you do it with your mind-fuck antics? If it was the second one then you are an irredeemable half whit of a female and no amount of advice or criticism will ever change that.

the fuck are you talking about bitch you friendzoned him. guys don't like that. you got what you deserved. spare us with your "boundaries".

instead of just hanging out less and making each of you appreciate each others time more you decided to change your whole attitude and demeanour to him, to teach him an unnecessary emotionally lesson about boundaries

you'd be a shitty friend and an even worse girlfriend

your approach is misguided and you lack basic communication skills

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This is probably the guy's writing to try and make himself feel better. Especially the parentheses.
She wasn't attracted to him lol probably fat

That was a good read. Funny, 10/10

>bitch act like a bitch
>gets surpriced when guy treats her like a bitch

>(and his messages were also another thing I loved about him; I enjoyed reading them, even if I couldn't always think up of any good responses)
Ya this is definitely written by a guy from his oneitis perspective to try and make himself feel better hahaha
Try losing weight dude it's really easy

You didn't just enforce boundaries, you basically told a guy he had no chance at all with you. Why would you hang around with someone after that? I wouldn't.

tldr get fucked sjw roastie nigger bitch cunt faggot
no im not being ironic
kill yourself

bitch man the fuck up

are you a literal fucking retard? what the fuck is it with you women? men cant read your fucking mind, all he perceives is that you suddenly stopped giving a shit about him and so he fucked off same way you fucked off, with a man you act straightforward, you dont do this whole reverse psychology bullshit goddamit you women are so fucking stupid

you can be a whore or you can be happy

can't have both....

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Maybe because you weren't just setting boundaries, you were actually pushing the guy away. Your attitude told him "I want less out of you. Less presence, less talk, less touch."

He clearly didn't want that.

Maybe it made him feel awkward that he'd misread things. Maybe he thought there was grounds for a possible relationship, and you put up a wall and said "Nah. That's not happening." It's possible he took that rejection to heart, and doesn't know how to be around you in a different way, so he's doing what you asked: He gave you space.

Maybe it's not the amount of space you wanted, but you don't get to dictate that. It isn't just about you. His feelings on the matter have to factor in, too, and maybe he was just more comfortable cutting ties than trying to find some awkward middle ground between being affectionate and caring and showing 'too much', and doing the bare minimum to pretend that you both didn't share more than that prior.

>Wah I was uberbitch because emotions are hard

>Wah he took the hint when I was intentionally bitchy and ghosted

>Wah I made him stop doing all the things I liked because Im a retarded girl

>Wah life is so hard and simple things should be hard and layered because my favorite book is twilight.

Kill yourself roastie.

All you literally had to do was put his penis into your mouth and suck on it like a soda bottle.

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A little depressing how many of you newfags think a girl posted this

Woman like this break good men. You lead them on and then just destroy their soul.

>probably fat
idk user ive met some dudes who were pretty fucking fat with gf's. maybe not the hottest girls but they still got pussy, way more than I could say I've gotten and they had at least 100+ lbs on me.

I'm no expert, BUT I do think the both of you royally fucked up. I can tell you where too:
>At some point, we spent nearly every day with each other. I always lit up when I saw him, and I think he liked me too.

All good things.

>But I just wasn't sure about us, and we never really talked about it.

Here's where it starts. You didn't talk about it. He never asked you for a date, you never asked him for a date.

>But we continued on as friends, even though everyone thought we were a couple. So after a while, I was feeling a bit tired, and frustrated by how it wasn't going anywhere.

And you still didn't do anything about it. Here's the rub, when you like someone and it seems like they like you too... ASK FOR THE GODDAMN DATE. Or to fuck his brains out idk. If he was too much of a pussy to say anything and *you* liked him but it's too awkward? Bite the fucking bullet and GO FOR IT. Is it gonna be awkward? Sure, that's how life is. If they're not saying anything, may as well be you.

If anything it'd make your friendship stronger if he said no. I don't wanna pin it all on OP because it takes two to tango and your boy fucked up by not speaking up either. So next time, nut up and do something about it.

Or maybe be like "Hey #user'sGuyFriend, I need to talk to you about something..." idk, get creative.

I have a massive crush on a friend and after seeing her maybe three times in person and each time having an incredible rapport... I asked for a date. Didn't go how I liked and it's haunted me, but I'm still her friend. Sure, I could let her go, but i think it'd be shitty of me. In the mean time, I've dated other women too. Don't get discouraged either if he doesn't want to date you after all this. You'll find another dude.