Why does enforcing your boundaries mean losing a guy forever?
He was the nicest man I've met. At some point, we spent nearly every day with each other. I always lit up when I saw him, and I think he liked me too. But I just wasn't sure about us, and we never really talked about it. But we continued on as friends, even though everyone thought we were a couple. So after a while, I was feeling a bit tired, and frustrated by how it wasn't going anywhere. I loved how attentive he was, and enjoyed returning the favour. But it started to feel exhausting, and like we're only running through the same motions. And his constant hugging, which I used to like, started to feel a little too routine for my tastes.
So during our last couple months together, I tried to make it clear that I wanted space. Stood my ground, made myself stiffer and that I wasn't having it, laughed at his jokes less (his sense of humour was always my favourite thing about him), and tried to focus on our other friends more because I felt like I neglected them in favour of him. But it didn't seem like it went as well as I hoped it to. He seemed put off and miffed. He slowly distanced himself, and like he was more interested in our other friends now. It started to feel like he was avoiding, and that my presence felt awkward to him. His text messages grew shorter and less expressive (and his messages were also another thing I loved about him; I enjoyed reading them, even if I couldn't always think up of any good responses). And I think the last thing I said was when he tried to hug me, I told him "I already gave you a hug," and that was the last we saw each other.
It's been months now. I'm told he's avoiding me, because being around me apparently makes him "too sad" now. I haven't received any messages from him. And he's just gone. Like that. All because I wanted to enforce a little bit of boundaries.