What's the most pathetic thing you've done to sexually please yourself?

What's the most pathetic thing you've done to sexually please yourself?

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Fucked a tissue

Fucked a woman

I often record my mom naked using hidden cam apps and leaving my phone to charge in her room and jerk to it

Made a thread on Any Forums with pictures of me jizzing on a rail of cocaine, then using a neddleless syringe to suck up the mixture, and shooting it up my ass.

Hooked up with my ex girlfriend. It took me two weeks to convince her that I wasn't interested in getting back together and that she was just a wet hole to fuck.

Weak.

yeah that didn't happen

my collage roomate gives me head and we watch porn together, we're both "straight" but I could never tell anyone irl about this

Let my cat lick me off until I shot thick loads all over her
I still do it every now and then

step your game up

I swear to Christ anime fans are the biggest faggots on earth. What even is this shit? A woman with a cat mouth and a snuggle tooth? Why does this even exist? It's retarded.

Your mom.

I've masturbated at work 2 hours before the end of my shift because I couldn't wait to get home. Other than that I had 2 cum socks. One I used for 5 years the other 3. Idk if either is exceedingly gross. I just haven't done anything less boring.

Attempted to Shove a hotdog weenier up my ass. Didn’t go well

How do you fuck that up?

>load up a random porn video
>lift up my dumbbells
>work out while watching it
>once my penis stops being erect I have to do push ups
>my fleshlight is strapped between two pillows on the floor
>fuck the floor while doing push ups
>erection has come back
>continue working out with the weights

Your neighbours in the flat below must love hearing that.

>fucking hard wood floors
Gay

Drop your kik

I find it very sexually arousing to drink, eat, or even lay in my own cum. for around 5 years I came onto my bed where I slept and I would sleep in it. It would get me hard as a rock. I love sloshing around in my own seed.

one time, I refrained from changing my bed sheets for three years and ended up having a layer of cum caked onto my bed where I slept every night. This really gets me aroused.
I often drink my own cum by nutting into shot glasses and drinking it. it really turns me on. i often nut into tissues and eat them or straight up scoop the cum of my dick and put it into my mouth after ejaculating.
One time, i nearly had a sexual partner. she found out about my bed sheets almost instantly since the smell was so strong.

Pics of bed sheets?

>eating tissues
that's the most disgusting part

due to odor complaints, I have been forced to stop with the bedsheets but i still eat and drink my own semen. I find it deeply arousing.

If I ever get another sheet going, I will post it but right now I am living in a small apartment and I have had so many complaints about it that I was threatened out of my home on many occasions.

Jerked it to CP.

pics of cum socks? do you still have them? I'm a huge stinky fetishist and it turns me on, a lot. Please post them.

ditto please

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