The global elites have access to an immortality pill

So the disembowelment story
I got caught by the Germans. I was fighting in the war. A super soldier. They caught me and tried to question me. They gutted me like a pig. The pain was worse than being hit by a train. It burned and cramped and seared and just lasted for hours on end. They "kept me alive" and questioned me for hours. Finally when they were done they put a bullet in my head and set my out for burning. I crawled into the mud and into a fox hole. My body put itself back together. It was graphic and hurt. Screaming was not an option. Once it was done, I ran. They kept shooting at me. Maybe they thought they missed because I kept running. I remember a bullet going through the back of my neck and out through my tongue as it exploded in my mouth. I just had to get to safety. I hopped on a fishing boat and ended up in South America.

Just the cyanide pill for me, thanks.

Of course, how else would they control you?

wow amazing true story

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I tried to track down the fruit. Many false leads. I remember what it looks like. A strange shape like a half moon with a black swirl on top. It was bright red. Skin like a plumb. It had no core or seeds. I ate everything but the swirl. It literally tasted like water. The texture was like a plumb too, gritty. It had no flavor but it's flavor was distinct. I remember how it made the pox in my throat feel better so swallowing it was nice. The black thing in the toilet was filled with these red specks. I don't remember clearly but I thought I saw it moving. It smelled so horribly rotten. I just flushed it without thinking about it. I felt really good though. Like I was over the sickness. I just thought I got better. I met others like me along the way and we all have the same story about the experience. I remember getting itchy so I took a bath and my skin started to peel. You ever put dish soap on your penis? Like that but all over my body. It eventually passed and my skin was radiant. I watched on as Myrtle got sick and passed away. I remarried several times and each time the women just got old and lost their minds. Oh and I lost the ability to father children so I watched my son grow up and die. 300 years seems like a long time and a lot happened but it's really not.

I don't care what you believe my friend. I'll be here long after you're gone.

Full name.

>a year's subscription to an immortality pill?
>well shit, if i can live forever for one year, that's priceless
LULZ
I see what you did there....

The implication is that you wouldn't age.

So in theory this is infinitely valuable. If you assume that you can increase your earning potential by 10% a year for every year you are alive and able bodied as you gain experience and your portfolio increases in value.

There is no amount of money that buying this is a bad deal as you will eventually increase your income to the point that it's paying for itself several times over and you haven't lost anything.

Toilet was pretty rare in the 1700s especially for poor people

I met someone like me in a bar. He was ancient. I was trying to find the fruit. He told me to stop searching. Eating it again reverses the process. He told me stories about Egypt and stuff. Eventually I did stop searching after I found it again. It smelled really bad this time. Like it made me want to vomit being in the same room as it. It was under glass and this rich lady owned it and was selling it. You could tell others like me were there, we all stayed at the back of the room due to the smell. Some were there to die, others wanted to live. It got sold to a man, I forget his name. Not really important. He ate it on the spot like a greedy pig, sloshing it then he licked the floor where it spilled out of his mouth. "Finally I'm going to live forever!" He was incredibly fat. Here's the thing, you don't lose weight. You just stay as you are. Once it was over, they sold some art. I bought this Picasso. I still own it to this day. Met some good friends who helped me find work.

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i would pay $1000 to be immortal for a year. that's worth it.

nk4km

It wasn't like the toilets now, it was a bowl you used a bucket of water to wash down a drain. It was called a toilet pot. Some houses didn't have drains and you just dumped them out a window. Some houses had outhouses. Your history lesson doesn't tell you everything.

Wtf, not a fucking thing you talking about a subscription for a year to a pill that needs to be taken indefinitely. That's just living another year and paying for it lol

>Wtf, not a fucking thing you talking about a subscription for a year to a pill that needs to be taken indefinitely. That's just living another year and paying for it lol
He finally got it!
Give this user a cookie
Welcome to commerce & marketing

>no
They have access to stemcell rejuvination which knocks about 30 years off your physical health. However, If it's used to reversed the oxidation of the brain, they start to lose memories, identity, personality traits, etc.. So none of them do that. A fringe cult of elites have achieved a moderate form of vampirism though.
>Bob Barker
>Hugh Heffner
>still not immortal

Cool story bro, if you all pulled this out of your anus while typing it out, you ought to write novels, go into politics or teaching

cool story but can you expand about the dish soap on your penis?

Also we rented, we didn't own. I still have a few things like this old book. The title is irrelevant, it's worthless. I don't know why I keep it. At this point it's more "it's been with me this long so why throw it away?" I picked it up in 1912 from a street vendor named Charles for a nickel. We all remember everything in excruciating detail. A side effect of it. At first not being able to filter was overwhelming but you get used to it. I tried to walk across the United States once. I made it from New York City to Lincoln Nebraska and gave up due to boredom and never tried again

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No thanks. Those pills have child blood in them.