Got a girlfriend after 25 years of nothing

Thank you user :)
She's 19, I'm 25. She's super nice and wholesome and cute, into a lot of nerdy things like me, she wrote a love letter for me on the second date lol

The only hard part is getting the voice right. Once you get that though everything else just falls into place.

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Porthole?

how come they filmed her anus

>tfw 29 and still nothing
I didn't mind before but seeing even a hint of romance on tv is too much for me now. What the fuck do I do? That was the last bit of joy in my life

You know nothing about real depression normie

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I literally have no will to live except to see other people suffer desu

Wow does this actually happen? I'm a 23 year old virgin volcel (body image issues/Improover).

I'd love to finally join the human race someday and be able to enjoy media about love and sex

>You know nothing about real depression normie
8 psychologists and a dozen therapists disagree with you.

Some coomer user post the screenshot of this movie where you can basically see her butthole. Is that allowed on a blue(ball)board?

That one user is right though. I wish I died an incel instead of getting my heart broke by a roastie.

>I didn't mind before but seeing even a hint of romance on tv is too much for me now
For about 2 years all I watched was old Star Trek (60s to 90s) because it was so chill and comfy and made me forget my real-life problems. It's a show where basically every character is single but doesn't care.

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>She's thin and has a very light brown complexion (south-east Asian but looks Iranian)
if you had taken a vacation to SEA your "chronic depression" or whatever incel BS you think you had would have been fixed ages ago

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>South-east Asian but looks Iranian
So she is a hideous creature

This
>tis better to have never spent your life caring about pussy. period.

Wasn't looking for casual, soulless hook-ups, especially not with prostitutes
Retard

How do I get a girlfriend quick before I have a mental breakdown bros

usually a massive dose of sheer luck is needed, but there are things you can do to game the odds, like hanging around places (either online or off) where people with similar interests congregate.

I was alone for many years then eventually met my gf on a forum about a particular niche hobby/interest we shared. Good luck.

just focus on making money and/or working out

>Is that allowed
>kek

>usually a massive dose of sheer luck is needed
OP here
This absolutely
If I had have waited another day before making a bumble account, I probably never would have met her, even though she's basically perfect for me
I'm still freaked out by the sheer luck that was involved desu

suck my penis and i will tell you

just wait until you break up and every sex scene reminds you of every awkward sexual moment you've ever had

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The more pertinent question is why didn't she wax her anus knowing it was going to be filmed?

>caring about what women think of you
There's your problem

any wizards itt?

maybe she didn't know it would be filmed, or maybe she assumed that if it was it would be cut out (of the film, not her body)

port hole

didnt you know they also filmed that scene where she was naked?

>south-east Asian but looks Iranian
imagine simping for a fucking flip

>simping
How the fuck is it simping when they're your actual girlfriend lmao?
You sound like some zoomer faggot that doesn't even know what the dumb words they use mean.

>a show where basically every character is single but doesn't care.
because THAT'S the only way you get actual shit done

you'll find out

Pathetic

I don't watch movies desu

Most incels don't get that even normies rely on good a luck a LOT.
It's a numbers game for everyone, if anything the best thing you can do is not be afraid of rejection.

the next movie you watch needs to be 500 Days of Summer

Based. Congratulations, big guy!

Isn't that about breaking up lol?

>south-east Asian but looks Iranian
Oh right...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

please post her anus

Can I post mine instead?

Go for it, Nikocado.

>(south-east Asian but looks Iranian)
playing life on easy mode with gamer tip/cheat book on the side, i see

What do you mean? Why is that easy mode, user?

I'm at work and can't switch IP, maybe later

I still can't watch teenage love movies without wanting to blow my brains out

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wha-

i bet she thinks she still hasn't seen a smalller dick

cause they easly fall for a 185cm, muscular and educated European guy like u, my man

youtube.com/watch?v=1V5EF274uBo

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>make a blog post on television & film board
>gf cheats on me
>at least I still have my bros on /teevee/!

Well, I'm white, educated and have some Aryan features which she loves (she's obsessed with my blue eyes) but I'm bordering on slightly chubby and have an overbite which sucks. She's definitely out of my league purely in terms of looks, but she's autistically romantic so perfect looks don't matter to her.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TEASING ME THEN

Also even though I'm not that tall (5'9) she's very short (5'1) so I feel like a tall chad next to her lol

?

I'm attracted to cucks

good for you guys, i was bustin balls but u guys seem happy so ill leave u to it

have a good weekend lads

i hope she lurks given you have the same interests and exposes your pathetic ass

Any Forums is not one of her interests lmao

Based user

Exposed for trying to tell his internet friends how happy and lucky he is to be with her?

how much does your gf charge by the hour? do you get a discount for booking her for a whole day?

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Do she have a sister or hot friends? Hook me up bro

I'm 23 and never seen a human vagina in my whole life.
I will never know how to make a woman feel good.
I am terrified of the day I'll make love for the first time and lose it in a few seconds. Especially since I project the silent, serious type image a lot and I am starting to have a good physique.

I can only disappoint my future gf by my lack of sex and romantic experience.

Twist, that was obiwan's vita

A bigger risk is actually death grip, if you jerk off a lot
I'm lucky in that my gf is also a virgin like me so I'm not too worried about embarassing myself the first time - she'll probably be way too nervous to care.

You haven't made love yet? Is it not awkward just being around her?

No, a couple of days ago we made out quite a bit and I felt her up, she was really into it but she had her period that day so we didn't have sex.
She's *extremely* shy and nervous about a lot of things, so things go at a pretty slow pace for the most part.

Nuts how some of you are 28 and virgins and I'm 28 and been fucking since I was 17
An entire decade of you never having sex and an entire decade of me having sex
Crazy how life works out that way that someone goes more or less their entire life never experiencing what the average person does experience

I was a virgin until I was 28 and had a lot of the same concerns, but having sex for the first time was a lot more intuitive and far less stressful than I thought it would be. As long as she knows you're a virgin (or if you at least tell her that you've been through a dry spell) then you'll probably be just fine.

Some monks live to be centenarians without once touching a woman.

If she's from SEA, she's 100% going to romance scam you. I warned my friend, but he just resented me for a while. The he married her and divorced her a year later and she's STIIL destroying his life years later.

try 30 years of never having sex.

And the tunnel

uh what movie is this

How's her family? Sounds like you'll be putting a ring on that finger sooner than later. Or you'd be dumb to let her get away anyhow

It's even a gamble if you post about an actor and question about his future movies. I got a temp ban for this. I guess the fired Twitter workers got jobs as mods here.

Just make a tinder/hinge/bumble, upload okayish pics, lie about your height, pretend to be interesting instead of a malcontent faggot.
>talk to girls
>get experience and confidence
>keep talking and ask everyone single one out for a drink/coffee
>more girls will agree than you think
>go on date
>suggest another date in the future while simultaneously suggesting you go back to her/your place
>fuck her

They're very strict (they don't let her go out at night) but they're mostly just concerned with her not being distracted from her studies. I haven't met them though. If we want to do anything more intimate we just go to my house instead (my parents are very chill).
I was worried because her family is Muslim and they don't take too kindly to non-Muslim guys getting involved with their girls, but she said they're pretty secular when it comes to that, that they don't really care about other people's religion, so long as they're not a fuckwit.
Keep in mind I live in one of the most ultra-liberal and progressive cities in the world (Melbourne) so even traditionally intolerant religions and cultures like Islam get watered down and mellowed a lot.

I used to have girlfriends and shit but I became depressed and adopted the neet way of life and suddenly became 31. I think it might be over for me. I only talk to Asian girls on hellotalk. It hurts.

Closer (2004)

>I am terrified of the day I'll make love for the first time and lose it in a few seconds.
If she loves you she won't mind. You can get good at pleasing each other together with time.

Same, but I got over it when I realised that teenage love movies are mostly soppy bullshit full of melodrama. The older I get and realise how retarded teen love is the less I give a shit about missing it.

>got a girlfriend after 25 years of nothing
>I'm 25.
OP is faggot.
All fields.

Why are you simps still humoring the blogposter

worrying about being a virgin under 25 is fucking retarded and isn't even a big deal. Blowing it up into a big thing just makes you look even more desperate to potential mates.

It is. Majority of women have 5 bodies at least at this point. and if you think he's telling every girl he speaks to his is a virgin, you're an idiot

>As long as she knows you're a virgin
No. NEVER EVER fucking tell her.

It's lad 101 to fuck as many dumb sluts to bump your bodycount before you get into an actual relationship. No woman will tolerate a sexually inexperienced mate long term.

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She's a keeper. Put a baby in her (at some point)

we really are going to make it

>Majority of women
are fucking whores who don't do a great deal with their lives except spread their legs for scumbags until they're "ready to settle down", I know.
>and if you think he's telling every girl he speaks to his is a virgin, you're an idiot
See my newer post

I'm already a pretty social person, I came a long way (I used to stay inside all the time and had no friends at all).
It hurts to see everyone my age talking about sex and love while I have to pretend I am like them, too.

I'm afraid that if first contact is awkward and she expected better then it'll be over for me. (I really don't project an image of virginity which sometimes I regret)
You don't "love" someone after a few dates, do you? At least it doesn't seem to work like that here

Reddit cucks

>Worrying about women's body counts instead of simply seducing younger females.

People think I'm some normie asshole or whatever but I was a legit incel loner for years, depressed as fuck, until I lucked out a few months ago.
There is always hope, never give up lads, please.

This dumb fuck pretending he has a clue

I think my frenulum is too short and if I have sex it will tear. It's over

Nonsense

how does it feel to live my dream?

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How so

Is the 25 years starting from your birth?

Yes

Breh, why so bitter? Let the dude live his life. Are you a mega chud or something

get circumcised

I live in Europe. That's like becoming a gypsy

I'm older than you, and at this point I honestly do not care about women. I have completly give up on women. Complaining about troons and minorities on Any Forums gives me all the sexual satisfaction I need.

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I'm 26 and have never been kissed. I couldn't ask a girl out if you put a gun to my head. I think some people are just meant to be alone.

>I am terrified of the day I'll make love for the first time and lose it in a few seconds.
They'll enjoy the fact that they're deflowering you way more than they'll care about how it feels.

iktf. It's a strange one.

31, never had gf, ironically together we are alone user

I don't watch any movies or TV shows with sex / relationships in them.

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must be nice. lost mine after 3 years. she up and "changed her mind". all the closure i got. enjoy it while it lasts. im gonna go day drink some more cause why not

>finally get a gf after 30 years
>can't watch shit because she constantly wants my free time
I'm tired of this game.

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I got a gf and the romance movies and shows became even more insufferable to me because you realize what a bad representation they are of romance. Romance is a chore and is a lot more boring than movies suggest.

literally me. I just dont have "it" when it comes to interaction with girls.

Then gelding is the only other option

I managed to convince my gf to watch all of TNG with me, which was a huge win lol

fuck she's such a minx
goddamn nothing is better than an pleased grin during sex

Same but 30, haven't seen an exposed breast either.

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you absolutely will but it'll all be in your head.
tell her you're going to cum instantly because it's been a while and she'll have no problem with it.

I did the inverse of you. And I feel like I'm past the point of no return. I'll either fully become a normie, or fuck myself up.

>goddamn nothing is better than an pleased grin during sex
does this apply to men? I had the most intense out of this world orgasm the other night and I in voluntarily had a massive euphoric grin on my face. I'm not sure what my gf thought of it.

Just go to a strip club and pay a few bucks

Did you manage to have intercourse with females?

>their entire life never experiencing what the average person does experience
I shudder experiencing what you average chuds suffer constantly at the hands of these insufferable female creatures.

t.lvl50 Wizard

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Stopped caring for the most part but sometimes the feels come back. This is why I dont watch any tv and live in my head

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>south-east Asian
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
literally doesn't even count kek

Doesn't count, also strippers disgust me.

>south-east Asian
disgusting

As it should, strip clubs are peak cuck-culture and utter retardation.
Imagine actually paying to simp for some whore that a dozen other retards are simping along with you for.

Fucking normies.

It's still seeing naked women and having them rub on you. And you dont have to go for the 35yo old tatted stripper with bolton tits, there are usually some younger girls who are just starting out who can be very sweet. Might make you actually want to put in effort to get a real girl. Or at least stop whining

>lie about your height
This gotta be a troll right, you can go 2 inches tops before it becomes fishy, and if you’re already short chances are she’ll be approaching you or meeting you height wise

2 inches is a lot. I'm 6'2 and don't really feel that large when I'm half a head taller than supposed 'manlets'

Thing is I've always been so bad socially that even though your life is in the toilet you don't have expectations that it would be any other way so you don't feel too depressed. Women are just this far off unattainable thing so why even dwell on them.

oh, you're THAT guy. how many bragging posts are you going to make my man? with all the time you spend talking about her here, I'm starting to wonder if she's even real

>She's 19, I'm 25.
Are you me haha. I met my first gf at a pokemon pop up store in london.