What's the best way to dispose a dead body with zero to none evidence?

What's the best way to dispose a dead body with zero to none evidence?

Let's say that you have a dead body in your apartment and you're living a big city. so the idea of burying them is off the table.

I have two ideas.
chop off body parts, put each body parts inside separated bags and make it heavy enough so it won't float on the water. and lastly throw off each bags into different rivers.
it's not perfect but if you have limited resource this is probably one of the best thing you can do.

second idea is simply put a dead body inside of a big ass plastic barrel and let acids do the trick. and by that method, I assume that you only have the waste to dispose? which is 10 times easier than chop off body parts?

is it hard to get acids? will the acid burn through bones as well?

sorry for being ESL in advance.

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Acid will most certainly burn through bones if you choose the right one, however you would need a bathtub and need to not breathe through the toxic gases released by the acids.

Depending on where you live it's possible to obtain the right acid.

Another option is puttting the dead body parts in rivers, the body will most certainly be found but its unlikely they will be able to recover your DNA on anything.

the decay and the SMELL will give you away 10x faster than you could possibly hack off body parts and/or "dissolve in acid". if you have a dead body in your house then you are fucked. dumb fucking thread.

>however you would need a bathtub and need to not breathe through the toxic gases released by the acids.
oh yeah I forgot to think about that. assuming if you live in a small apartment. it would be extremely difficult.

are acids expensive? if we're talking about acids that will certainly do the job.
still though, how would properly dispose all the waste? you can't just drain it on your sink. That would leave too much evidence.

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>Let's say that you have a dead body in your apartment

Dont think thats a stretch of the imagination for you kid.

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i would rather recommend a strong base because its easier to ge than acids (many acids are used for explosives while many bases are used for cleaning stuff basically)

if your a democrat, you just call your buddies over at the fbi and those cucks will dispose of it for you

IF, and only IF, you managed to not breathe through the gases, the fbi still hasn't opened your door, and the body was dissolved, and your only problem left is disposing of the acid/melted body, you could try putting water onto the melange to make it less acidic and thus less problematic.

gators

The state removes bodies for free in western countries. Cause ur not a doctor even if they are blue and have shat themselves you call the local emergency number like 911 and have them deal with it.

If ur in a proper third world shit hole, wheel barrow I guess, ask a neighbor where the dead go

If you are trying to cover up a crime and have a dead body. That's rude, u shouldn't kill people.

You’re going to need a strong base if you want to dissolve the bones too. Acid will just strip the flesh

I hope you’re trying to troll cause otherwise you’re a fucking retard that’s on a watchlist. The feds monitor this website you absolute fucking moron.

The "feds" are not going to pay people to monitor a written comedy and pr0n forum where everyone trolls. That would be the dumbest waste of tax money since putting weed smokers in prison.

did you kill someone op?

uh oh someones a triggered autistic retard

I’ve heard a decent amount of hogs can eat one

Someone didn't watch Breaking Bad.
A bathtub is generally not a good place to put gallons of acid and the normal drainage pipes in a home are not meant to process that much acid either, you are going to melt all your shit and there will be festering corpse acid all over the place.

you're also a fucking retard LMAO

open kebab stand

bunch of hungry-ass pigs will do the trick

never trust a faggot who owns a pig farm

>heavy enough to not float
Sorry, were aware that buoyancy and weight are not related, ya?

I meant a special bathtub but I forgot, thank you user

But I did watch breaking bad though, awesome show

Oh shit the internet police gonna get me!

Hack it up, and store it in a freezer. You'll need to wander far and wrap up the parts in several bags, then dispose of them in random locations. For immediate disposal you need bleach, in the tub. Not ammonia or anything else, but bleach. Make sure the plug is there too. There was an image on how to do this before most niggers here were able to use a computer so I don't expect anyone to post it.

Roll it up in a carpet, toss it in the trunk, don’t get caught burying it in the woods.

>dense rural forest
>wild hogs
>nothing left

that's impossible, how would you even get dead bodies out of your apartment in the first place?

pretty sure you aren't allow to post them? no? idk.

Just take the body up a tall building and throw it off, blame it on suicide lol

that's actually interesting but how would you freely move dead bodies around a building? plus there are CCTV everywhere.

No like I said, you would need special bathtub, special pipes, a special home, and a bunch of other special stuff or just use a barrel with the correct type of plastic, like in Breaking Bad.