Hey Faggots

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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Toxic masculinity at its finest.

Topkek

What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nikka. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nikka. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nikka.

What are 10 reasons why dogs are better than parents?

Why dogs are better than parents:
1. when they hump, you dont get siblings, u just get more puppies
2. They will lick ANYTHING
3. Tilt nurbs
4. Dogs vomit when they pee, fire extinguisher, itself, police car!
5. They bite you till they kill you. They will only kill your property if your threat and the threat has nothing to do with them.
6. Bring your children to Dog shows
7. when your dog bites you, even if he comes back from a fight as long as you scream and yell he wont stop.
8. Gobble in the mouth and stand for a bit. They respect that, parents don’t
9. Pet is cheap but pets cost money, parents will live so long that they eventually leech your money (old fucks wont get a job)

10. You can pull out your wooly bean in front of a dog, and they wont send you to military school.

haha fuck parents.

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually identify as a frog helicopter

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John I love you man

I would love it if a girl would shit on my dick! I would lick her ass clean afterwards! She would never need toilet paper again!! ;) feet and assholes are sooooo sexy!! With pr without poop!!


I would love to stick my big dick up your butt and you shit all over it

love if u shit in my dick

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First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.

I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.

Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.

Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."

I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.

He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?

I've been being framed by this post for years

Use a pincer or small iced tray to help protect your sausage! As the grating knife digs into the sausage, warm your hand under the ice so it feels warm and not cold. Try to keep your hand warm as the cold outside world may be hard to ignore.

Pierce or grate the sausage to help drain out as much fat as possible.

Once the sausage is nice and warm, put the sausage into your fridge or freezer to allow it to cool.

Note: When storing for a while, you will want to prepare the sausage quickly before the temperature goes down and it may begin to harden up.

Once cooled, slice in half. Place your sausage slices side by side on your chopping board or stand in a pan.

If Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, The Zodiac Killer, Jack the Ripper, Richard Ramirez, HH Holmes, and Alyssa Bustamante had a free for all, who would win?
Out of all the serial murders, Jay Whistler would probably win. Jay Whistler iss a serial killer from Los Angeles who performed his gruesome acts on human bodies after shooting them and taking their lives. He seemed to be a sociopath. He studied geology and his favourite hobby was chopping down trees. He studied at Colorado State University before graduating in 1958 and he followed a criminal route. He worked as a gardener in an apartment and it was only when he turned his plans to murder and a well-oiled engineering apparatus for it that he went off in a different direction. That was when he started to kill and torture people. His first victim was a woman.

In 1962, he went on a crime spree that cost six people their lives. He stabbed the woman to death with a knife. He also cut her arm with a pen! He’s crazy.

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Yes, it's wrong, unless you are little. How about a "as far as it goes" in the next section? Since you are small, if you were asked what god wants, wouldn't it be me? I am very popular with children. While I don't really ever get in trouble with other parents, and I haven't ever felt like I deserved to be, what do I do with that idea? I'm too damned weird, if you know what I mean. I would have a big fan club. Why would you want me?
Never tell me that you don't want me. I will find out right now, and my displeasure would be instantly established.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dat boi!!!!!

Hey John. What's up faggot. Your absolutely pathetic compared to me. Ex Naval Aviator here, I have 8000+ hours in F-18F's, more than half in combat zones around the globe. I've walked into bars and had Navy Seals, the toughest motherfucker's on the planet, buy me drinks because I saved their ass's. Currently working for "the company " flying operatives in the Bombardier Global series of aircraft to hot spots around the world. I make upper 6 figures, see places in the world that average tourist has never even heard of, and had more women of all races than OP can even imagine. So fuck off PUSSY.

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OP you are really a dumbass. First off, you assume everyone is so bad. Let me point out your flaws. First, you said you were pretty much perfect. If that were so, you wouldn't brag about it, you would be humble and not attempt to gain attention from "no-life’s who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures." Second, you said we do nothing else than look at things on Any Forums and the internet. There again you are wrong retard. I in fact only go on Any Forums when i have absolutely nothing else to do. I (and I assume at least several others on here) have friends. By assuming that we are all people with no lives you once again prove your idiot ways to us- you cannot grasp a concept that people with lives can also use the internet. Third, if you are trying to prove to Any Forums that you are perfect, at least type properly. "but you all take to a whole new level." You forgot a fucking 2 letter word. Fourth, A's are not that hard to get in high school dumbass. It's not a sign of intelligence, but an ability to listen. Good job for using something that everyone can do. Go to /sci/ and get your mind raped by some actual intelligence. There you go; I just wanted to you about how wrong you really are. With all honesty, I really don't give a shit what you say only wrote this because it’s fun as hell to rant to dumbasses. Next time, go tell someone who actually cares.

Okay, so you expect me to believe that you were the very best that your generation of Navy SEALs had to offer? I highly doubt that. If you were as good as you say you were, I don't think for a second that you would be browsing Any Forums. This is mostly a place for jobless neckbeards that still live with their parents, and nerdy high school kids that don't have any friends. It really isn't the place for highly-trained assassins to be hanging out in their spare time. Even if it was, something far worse than a troll being mean to you probably would have set you off a long time ago. What about the slew of gore and child pornography that gets posted here on a regular basis? Isn't that something that deserves a person being hunted down and made to regret their actions? Yeah, you're just not the Any Forums type. Sure, there's a wide variety of people that browse here, but you're far from the core demographic if you are who you say you are (which isn't the case). Even if it were true that you're an incredibly talented soldier, I think all the military discipline would prevent you from getting mad enough to murder some random idiot on the internet. I also doubt that even the best SEALs have a "secret network of spies across the USA". Why would all of the most expanisive Big Brother network in the world be willing to help a troubled PTSD-sufferer hunt down some random kid on the internet? That doesn't even make sense. If you're gonna try to scare somebody, make it more believable than "IM A SUPER SOLDIER HURR DURR". You might frighten a thirteen year old who doesn't know any better, but to most of us you just look like a kid with an anger problem and a very active imagination. Hopefully things will be easier for you when your puberty's over. Best of luck with that... kiddo.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I’ve searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren’t? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can’t even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little “clever” comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn idiot.

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

I actually saw OP at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I’ll have you know my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.