Be me

>be me
>me and my gf tried to get an paid exchange to france
>she passes, i don't
>i get depressed, she calms me down, say it only a year and everything will be alright
>ffw 2 months
>i stayed in her place for like 2 weeks before she goes
>sex 4 times a day, the best weeks of my life
>first month we call for 5/6h everyday
>she's sad there, wants to go back
>ffw like 2 months
>i start get depressed cause i miss her and i'm poor so a can't go there and she can't go back
>start to close myself (i think its like a defense mechanism or something)
>she asks if something is wrong and i deny
>feels like the relationship is falling appart
>ffw 3/4 months like that
>we get in call and decide to broke up
>stay in the same call for like 3h after remembering shit and crying
>next day i feel weird but still ok
>next day i regret breaking up, but remember that she has a test on monday so i wait
>sunday, 21pm here, in france must be like 2am so shes already sleeping
>make a big text saying that i want to get back
>she replies almost instantly, say that dont have time, and will call me after the test
>after the test she calls, says that she wants to get back, but wont
>shes not sure that im the one anymore, and says need time
>my soul breaks, i start having panic attacks
>every atom of my body wants to send more messages to her
>start sending this messages to a group with her name and her photo
>send like 800 messages in this group saying all the things that im sorry, and stuff
>start therapy
>have a panic attack and send all the 800 messages to her

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>its 2AM in france
>she thinks im trying to kill myself
>calls a friend of mine to call me
>replies some of the msgs says she needs to sleep and will talk the other day
>other day she says what i did was cruel
>i beg for another chance
>she says the months that the relationship was not going well were my chance
>says if i want to be at least her friend i must give time
>the next day i got a job that pays well enough to me to travel to see her, and recieved an email saying that i got in the exchange program for this year and will go to germany in october
>cried every day since the breakup
>start taking antidepressives
>try to talk to her today(exactly 1 month after the breakup), say that im getting better, that i got a job, that im going to therapy like she always said me to do, tell that im going to a city that is only 3h from where she is
>ask for at least a friendship
>she says ok but nothing more than that
>i said that im okay and that is not the time for anything more than friendship
>she said "I don't think it will ever be"
>i had another panic attack
>i tried to talk about other things but she didnt reply, or reply in a cold way
>4 years of relationship
>i dont know what to do anymore
>i just want to go back in time, go to therapy before is too late
>i want to kill myself
>why life does that to me
(before anyone says that she's with another guy or anything, she lives with other friend and they do everything together, and she said that she is not seeing anyone)

Ok but check these dubs

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It sucks bud and its gonna keep sucking for a while but you'll be alright. Couple of weeks of partying should sort you out. Keep your head up dont get too torn up over some girl

Incel here, she never loved you and I alwyas love saying we told you so, dumb retard smart enough to get with women
Incels win again

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Don't be friends with an ex. It's a bad idea.

fuck france, america please send nukes to france

Nice larp. Or at least I hope it is because that's some pathetic fag shit if true. Kys
Also this is how u get dubs

I dont want to be friend with her, i want to date with her again, ill try again when i go to germany

>she passes, i don't
That’s your problem right there. Always date someone dumber than you.