What is it like to be an incel?

Yeah to be fair I got a very mild case of HPV due to too much sleeping around which has since gone away and I also went and got vaccinated for that shit. STIs are fucking disgusting. Herpes I have managed to avoid but is fucking disgusting and apparently never goes away and you can even get it with a condom on. I guess it's better to just have less partners that are more regular rather than a new girl every other week.

Cant really say I am full blown incel because I had women into me at one point. Yes, even me. I won't say I am the ugliest guy around but definitely not turning any heads, I am not a model, just a 4.
I was very insecure, anxious, nervous, sad, etc. I was immature, egotistical, selfish, still am to this day but want to change and just acheive inner peace.
At this point, I dont even want pussy, sure it would be nice, I have paid for it, I just want to be sure of myself. Not arrogant, cocky, or pretentious, just peaceful, and a changed man.
I am not ready for a relationship, even if I was it seems to me like unnecessary drama and problems that could otherwise be avoided almost entirely. I know I must be retarded in some way, socially I definitely am. Make of that what you will.

I also think that if you get tested that they cant tell you if you have herpes or not, so you could get someone tested and still catch it.

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Nah, in fact, what you described is normal. You need an ego death. Try shrooms with a trip sitter.