Scrum! agile! comfy? no?

fuck around, mostly.

nope, i just proved a point that you can't defend against. you're a ticket bitch. people who actually get shit done don't bother with tickets and agilefag trash. go fuck yourself

This, why not just do the fucking work and stop trying to pander to modern bullshit that's trying solely to justify unjustifiable shit? Like, just do the work that you're supposed to do. Agile and scrum are just modern buzzwords, pretty much like the diversity bullshit.

story points are so pointless

No, you didn't prove anything, and have no arguments. The only thing you did was starting an autistic meltdown in impotent rage. I accept your concession.

>Like, just do the work that you're supposed to do.
How do you plan and track work? You can't "just do work" if you don't know what to do and don't remember what has already been done and what hasn't. How do you coordinate this in a team of even a few people?

scrum in real life is like capitalism in china, you get all of the downsides but none of the benefits

>You can't "just do work" if you don't know what to do and don't remember what has already been done and what hasn't
some people are actually good at what they do and know the steps and have brains that have memories, unlike you apparently who needs to write everything down because you forget because you can only remember one thing at a time. you're that corpo idiot in the office who i need to hold his hand through the entire project and do his work for him because he's stupid KEK

>How do you plan and track work? You can't "just do work"
the world got along just fine without agile before agile, it will continue to get along fine without it. i used to use agile when i first started my career, now i don't bother because i realized it's for people who CAN'T do the work so hey just become retard project managers who aren't technical. those retards should be removed from all companys, they're useless fags

Thanks for outing yourself as a neet who has never held a day job. Now I know to ignore your opinions.

huh? i've had a day job for 15 years now

Before "agile" (buzzword that means nothing but it's trendy on/g/ to complain about it) they used waterfall, which included a huge planning stage upfront before starting any project, and yes, work that was divided among developers was often assigned using tickets. This means there was no flexibility if the requirements changed after the planning stage because it could all take a month if the whole project was estimated to take a year, and there was no time to do it again. That's why "agile" was introduced and they came up with this crazy idea that maybe you don't need to plant he whole thing upfront but do it progressively as you complete parts of the project in smaller chunks at the beginning of each cycle of work.

You don't know it because you have never worked a day in your life.

explain yourself

I'm sorry for people who work with you, you sound like a mindless code monkey

>butthurt because thread is insulting agile
KEK

>How do you plan and track work?
Your manager mails you to drop everything and make X and have it done by yesterday because it's super important OK?
4 hours later you get a new e-mail telling you to drop everything and make Y and have it done by yesterday it's super important OK?

In a few weeks you get used to this and just do whatever the boss wants as long as you get paid who gives a shit.

What a great way to work, I hate agile now

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that's my job xD

It should be noted that waterfall projects over $1 million had a 0% chance of being done on time and within budget.
And 60% were scrapped before even being put in production.

Waterfall is a terrible, terrible, way of making software.
Agile isn't always perfect but it's way better than the alternative.

exactly. agile slows everything down and is awesome for retards who can't do the actually so they fill their day with busy work like bullshit tickets. agile is bullshit for techlet retards

What I described is what happens WITHOUT agile.

everything slows down with agile, techlet

>daily meeting
should be a 5 minute, around the room talk where each person says 1. what they're doing 2. how's it going
>retrospectives
1/week checkin to see if something makes you want to go commit die or not
>sprint planning
This should be at the PM level

But the company(TM) version is:
>daily meeting
1 hour block with all stakeholders where we discuss plans for the future, no action items should be given, but a thorough in-depth conversation should be had on petty grievances developers foster about their codebase.
>retrospectives
Still 1/week, but now we assign action items to do on top of the sprint to overburden the developers that already want to go commit die with their existing workload
>sprint planning
daily over everyone's lunch break :^)

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