>why yes, I work from home, how did you know? yes, I'm socially awkward and useless in situations where more than just me is present. Work? I haven't contributed anything useful in months and am too busy worrying about COVID to get anything done, my pull requests will get done in a few days desu, I've been too busy with the latest news from reddit and facebook. Forget my next employers expectation of onsite work, I'm just vibin, making my coffee and trying to be unavailable on IM as much as possible, but you better report that I was a good worker or that's discrimination. You need a list of what I'm working on? um, maybe later chief, I'm too busy not sending emails and reading Twitter all day. Stand up meeting? sure, I have nothing to report and will have spotify and netflix playing in the background, don't worry about it.
Why are remote workers so useless and when will they get their act together?
>t. not boomer, unvaccinated, and tired of the bullshit.
Why yes, I work from home, how did you know? yes...
Why should I be valuable to a company
company: signs check
poster: why should I earn this, pay me to simply exist.
>aka gimme money for free
>tfw too busy reading your shit thread to do any work while wfh
How is Akiva meant to afford his third buy-to-let property? Get to work.
Literally me except I have no job.
Wagie cope
Correct
never because actually working is a fools game when the money is backed by reputation alone
>I'm literally bjarne dude. he made a programming language and I actually took a shower in the morning. therefore I earned being rich by breathing.
back to work, those new carpets in the unit won't pay for themselves, you non-investor.
>yells louder that they're not a wagie as they ensure they can afford rent next month.
the bread doesn't make itself. hey guys I want slaves to be legal again.
this one gets it.
fpbp
I want to minimize the amount of work I do for a company while maximizing the amount of pay I'm getting
>maximizing the amount of pay I'm getting
hey user, you're fired. nothing personal. just turn in your parking pass and never come back, thanks.
It's funny that you posted this, but there was a mass layoff in my company recently, and about 70% of the staff was laid off. This included devs and non-dev positions.
I was kept despite being in the company for less than 3 months and being one of the least productive programmers there. And to be honest, although I'm not incompetent, I'm probably one of the least skilled devs there (they were really good at hiring talent). It's incredible how far soft skills and making small talk can get you.
>>why yes, I work from factory, how did you know? yes, I'm socially awkward and useless in situations where more than just my 84 IQ is needed. Work? I haven't contributed anything useful in months and am too busy sitting in the break room to get anything done, my pallet stacking will get done in a few days desu, I've been too busy with the latest news from reddit and facebook. Forget my next employers expectation of onsite work, I'm just vibin, playing on my cell phone and gossiping to the other wagies. but you better report that I was a good worker or that's discrimination. You need me to work some overtime? um, maybe later chief, I'm too busy reading Twitter all day. Stand up meeting? sure, ill nod off to sleep because its not social media to stimulate my money brain, don't worry about it.
>Why are non remote workers so useless and when will they get their act together?
>>t. boomer, unvaccinated, and tired of the profanity.
jokes on you, I didn't shower this morning
>It's incredible how far soft skills and making small talk can get you.
More like you are a cheap worker, and now you need to do the job of 5 or get fired and stay jobless for the next 5 years.
OP is a seething barista
>aka gimme money for free
Yes.
>about 70% of the staff was laid off.
wasn't enough.
enjoy the sticky crotch, user. I'm sure it'll pass once you soap your balls a bit more next time.
>barista
what am I, some kind of useless drone? here's your coffee, sir, thanks for the tip in the "marvel vs. dc" tip jar this week. it feeds my kid from that bitch I divorced eight months ago while I eat ramen alone in a studio apartment.
>t. slave mentality
>More like you are a cheap worker
we get paid more or less the same, except for one older guy who was paid 2 times what we got.
>now you need to do the job of 5 or get fired
doubt it, we basically froze development of any new features and will just be doing maintenance from now on.
>stay jobless for the next 5 years
lol
Finding a job as a node dev is the easiest thing ever. I've refused a few offers before landing this job. I also had an interview last Wednesday for a different company, and my salary might increase by ~60% of what it is now.
Even if they fired me, I'm not retarded with money. I could get by without a job for a few years before it became an issue.
I'm forklift certified, pay for my kids college tuition and my 4 suits I wear a week. oh wait, all I wear is timberland and carhartt.
I'm useless, gimme rich people's money and somehow I'll do it better. if only we were unionized we'd show em.
>slave
I'm a slave to nobody, that's why my bank balance is $30. I'm gonna make it guys.
>I'm a slave to nobody, that's why my bank balance is $30. I'm gonna make it guys.
So are we poor or are we getting paid loads of money to do nothing? Pick a narrative.
you pick. are you harmed wagies or based clock counters?
We're overpaid slackers who earn six figures doing a few hours of work per week without having to put on pants, which seems to upset you. Are you a middle manager, by any chance?
>tfw forklift operator working towards a BSC
honestly 50% of the reason is so i never have to commute again. the other 50% is money.
i hate computers as much as i hate forklifts
>middle manager
I own 4 companies and trying to decide if I should separate the wheat from the chaff.
>forklifts
these bastards won't drive themselves. keep doing you. just wondering wtf you're doing on Any Forums
>just wondering wtf you're doing on Any Forums
audiophile BS mostly, i click on tech job threads out of boredom tho
honestly i fucking hate forklift driving. too much of a sperg to ever make a managerial position. still, better than customer service and pays twice as much, so it's not all bad.
>not all bad
this is more than I get out of devs in 2022. I'd hire you with that attitude.
>please just let me read twitter, eat tacos, pretend to work, and you pretend not to notice.
worthless eaters. you'd go far in one of my orgs.
>companies steal 4 trillion dollars of equity out of the american public
>this cock sucking nog is seething that we're sandbagging.
fuck you and fuck our job. Humans are animals and we can instinctively tell the value of the monopoly money we hold in our hands and who is responsible. This is why all of our last 3 generations are lazy useless layabouts in the first place. We all know instinctively that working hard is not rewarded but in fact, punished.
>working hard is not rewarded but in fact, punished
go graze in the field then fucktard. I have no need for you and I feed 2,800 families a month.