My girlfriend has told me twice now that I'm "ruining" something...

My girlfriend has told me twice now that I'm "ruining" something. Both times out of anger when I did nothing to provoke such an extreme response. Once on vacation I teased her for the way she said something and she told me angrily I was "ruining our vacation" in front of her family. The second time was yesterday when she said I "ruin her morning routine" because she think I'll judge her for eating breakfast(???) which I wouldn't. I know in both cases I didn't ruin anything but it hurts to hear and seems kind of abusive. Is this something you should dump somebody over? I just feel like this is becoming a pattern and I wouldn't want to marry someone who is verbally abusive.

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BPD bitch, dump her ASAP.

she wants to trigger a fight so that you'll dump her or you'll give her a clear reason for why she left. She's bored of your relationship.

She met someone who was cool who gave her attention and now it made you look like a turd

It's hard to tell whether a pattern that you've observed can be fixed or will be persistent. I'd raise the issue, see if there's any self awareness and monitor.

I don't know about BPD...seems like she's more of just a bitch. I've been with some crazy bitches before and she doesn't match a lot of their characteristics. I should mention she's latina -- Maybe it's normal for them.
The same thing happens when I bring up anything she does that makes me feel bad...she gets buttmad and upset or turns it into yet another argument. I can hear her now saying "Oh my GOD" in a "here we go again" way when I bring up that I thought it was rude to say I'm "ruining" something.

this
you're asking Any Forums, take that as a sign

I know this might be controversial advice on the neckbeard board, but you could try talking to her about it.

>someone who is verbally abusive
the threshold for what counts as abuse in 2022 has become so soft and shallow that any completely normal and healthy disagreement is "abuse".

Sometimes, even people who love you get mad and say hurtful things. You aren't always being abused, there is friction in any relationship. If you are so thin-skinned that this abuse is harsh enough that you want to leave, you're probably not ready for a relationship with a fallible, imperfect human person.

I already stated what happens when I try to talk to her about anything. I value communication above all else. I thought she did too. But her whole family doesn't communicate.

I think it's worth saying that there are different levels of abuse. I'm nearly impossible to offend in any situation, but when the person you love essentially tells you you are failing at being a good partner, I think it's pretty sensible to be hurt by that and wish to do better.

> there are different levels of abuse
I agree. Not all friction is abuse, tho.

>I think it's pretty sensible to be hurt by that and wish to do better.
I agree. That doesn't make it abuse. If you were to tell her that she hurt your feelings, is she being abused because you're telling her she's not being a good partner? OMG you're an abusive misogynist for bullying that poor girl.

She makes me remember that fat bitch on my 600 pound life that blamed her boyfriend for every mistake she made.
Dump the bitch, accountability is women's kryptonite

>I know this might be controversial advice on the neckbeard board
And we know reading and comprehension is foreign to resetera but he already tried talking to her.

> there are different levels of abuse
>I agree. Not all friction is abuse, tho.
>
>I think it's pretty sensible to be hurt by that and wish to do better.
>I agree. That doesn't make it abuse. If you were to tell her that she hurt your feelings, is she being abused because you're telling her she's not being a good partner? OMG you're an abusive misogynist for bullying that poor girl.
No, if you read the thread I said what would happen if I said something like that. I also explained that in both situations I didn't actually do anything wrong to "ruin" anything -- she just said it to hurt me.
Funnily enough she is about 100 pounds overweight and does nothing to change it. I thought we were going to lose weight together but I keep trying and she keeps doing nothing. I can't mention it because she gets upset, of course. I can't mention most issues I have for that reason. I don't care about being fat aesthetically so much as I care about the health issues. But her whole family is fat and they eat constantly and it kinda disgusts me.

so why are you even with this girl? You think she's fat and abusive, she refuses to address problems, and her family is disgusting. The sex must be pretty good.

>I can't mention it because she gets upset
she learns to do this after a lifetime of getting her way when she gets mad. She's learned that all she has to do is throw a fit and she has infinite power.

Yeah probably. She was basically daddy's girl her whole life. Yeah, the sex is great. We do things together. She's usually easy-going and low maintenence. She also cooks and cleans. But when it's bad, it's bad.

Move on OP fr, your values don’t match and she will take advantage of you because she knows she can get you to do whatever just by saying “you’re ruining our night out”
Let me put it this way, dump her now. You don’t want this to workout with her trust me, if it does you’ll end up miserable, and if you try to keep it up it will end anyways probably with her taking half your shit.

>accountability is women's kryptonite
Holy fucking wisdom

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Women have shockingly little empthy for men's feelings. They are brought up (and biologically programmed) to think that we are impervious to all verbal assaults. They think their words roll off us like water off a duck's back. They save all their tenderness and compassion for babies and animals. They honestly don't think we have any, except when they are sneering at us for having fragile male egos - which they argue are different to feelings anyway. Women - unless and until taken in hand and trained firmly - are dangerously chaotic, childish, selfish and incomplete as life partners. Just google "women have no empathy for men's feelings" and check out the first 10 hits.

You're better off on your own. Picrel. If you need sex, just pay for it, like we pay for everything else.

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I just get analysis paralysis. I don't know if it's REALLY the right choice. My mom used to be a perfect judge of all my girlfriends and I'd know through her if it was the right choice. She was always right. But she died right around the time I started dating this girl. Like will I really be happier alone? There are still good times. But I don't really think I want to marry her and I know she wants to get married. So maybe that's enough to know. Just wish my mom were here. I know...what kind of man am I?

Silence is one thing I wish I could get. I do miss silence. Being able to enjoy a video game, book or movie without her just randomly talking about whatever the fuck. I like puzzle games and it's par for the course that she walks in the room, doesn't give a single shit what I'm doing, and just starts yapping about her hair or some TV show or something. But then I think, maybe that's just the price of a relationship...

Go on X and figure out how to talk to your mom, even if it’s horseshit voodoo witchcraft, a ritual will help you access your subconscious memories of your mother and personify what she would say to you about it.
Goodluck user I feel for you

Same. And try as I might, I can't concentrate on what she's saying for more than 30 seconds.

I gave up on trying. If I had the game paused or something I might. But to me it's disrespectful to walk in while I'm clearly already using my brain and just start talking about whatever. If she was upset or the house was on fire that would be one thing, but this is just because she feels like talking. Then when she's on her phone she completely ignores me and I have to repeat everything 3 times because she "tunes the world out"