>Be stoner.
>On vacation with my dad in Virginia smoking that good legal grass.
>hear screaming children outside my hotel all the damn time.
>Irish family on vacation in Virginia.
>when I say family I mean the whole brood.
>be today hear screaming and crying.
>look outside door.
>see half naked 3 year old girl standing outside neighbors hotel door.
>grab a clean hotel towel and some scrumptious graham crackers.
>wrap graham crackers in a napkin to keep ‘em clean.
>exit my stoner cave of a hotel
>queue several awkward minutes of me standing across the hall asking a half naked Irish toddler where her parents are and offering her a towel and some graham crackers.
>get panicky about it.
> think fuck it, I’m calling the cops…
>do it.
> immediately after I call 911 the mother returns from god knows where emerging from a pickup truck.
> COMMIT
>the broodmother attempts to snatch my phone several times
>my fapping hand agility and death grip wank hand sees to it that she never can swipe it.
>she ends up yelling at my phone in an Irish accent “No problem here!”
>starts calling me names trying to make me feel bad.
>the broodmother gives up and returns to her domicile
>whisper to police operator “I am stoned”
>”it’s alright, that won’t be an issue”
>hear the broodmother screeching to her horde of leprechauns and her husband who fell asleep and let the baby outside.
>instantly feel reassured about calling the police.
>police arrive.
>THREE FUCKING SQUAD CARS!
>dyke cop with cold sores comes up to me and asks if I called
> answer “y-yeah th-that’s me” while standing on curb.
>korean cop approaches, think Harold from Harold and Kumar.
>I explained “I don’t mean to start issues, man. I just was like really worried about there being a half-naked Irish baby in outside” admit I'm stoned.
>fat cop in grey shirt emerge from squad car. and lesbo cop goes to meet with the rest of the donut-hole crusaders.
1/2
Be stoner
>not pre-writing your greentext
this better be good op
cont?
Type out the entire thing in advance next time, so all you have to do is copy paste.
> Then everyone walked the dinosaur!
Lurking
please continue
Bet that is the last time you vacation in Va Beach!
Crime ridden, shit hole vacation spot. Even the locals won't come down there to the beach.
This time of year, full of non white college students stinking up the place. As of this morning 3/30/22; seven shootings, two fatally.
Get your money back and go to Nags Head!
>notice the other three cops are talking to the tinkerfaggot brood.
>Harold cop says “you did the right thing man, it’s okay.” As i sulk on the curb wondering if I’ve just made a horrible mistake calling the police.
>the police emerge from the brood den. ”nothing seems wrong here.”
>Harold says “so everything seems alright here, we’re probably going to end up leaving”
>ask if I did right thing
>Harold the cop says ”yeah user, you did the responsible thing man”
>wave to the diversity force as they return to their swinequarters by their three police cars.
Tinkerfag brood hasn’t been quieter.
Did I do good? I’m worrying that the brood of Gaelic goblins are gonna key my dads truck.
I think the police were bored today.
Go on...
I guess that’s all but like.
Uh yeah I guess it just an irishstory.
Fuck em. Throw potatoes at them as a show of dominance- you have so many excess potatoes that you can literally throw them away. They’re genetically obligated to pick them up.
>Did I do good?
No. You did shit by posting this gay ass blogpost. Try to be less or more of a faggot next time.
>They’re genetically obligated to pick them up.
Kek.
I'm was, is, and will be a faggot
Oh and I had my knife in its sheath dangling on the inside of the door handle just in case the Irish broodmother summoned her leprechauns to jump me when I walked back outside my room.
Maybe the reason I feel horrible is because I myself am of largely Irish heritage. Feels like I betrayed my own people, on the other hand being around the tinkerbrood has given me context as to why people hated the Irish immigrants in the past.
> Maybe the reason I feel horrible is because I myself am of largely Irish heritage.
So my potato idea was absolutely absurd to you, then. My mistake.
Well no shit. Why would I waste a potato on those tinker faggots?
bastards are probably from the north, too.
She might put a curse on you. If weird shit start to happen around you, rub yourself with a potato (unpeeled) over your whole body, it will absorb the curse. Then bury it in a secret location that only you know (it's important, if someone finds the potato-plant they can gain power over you)
Could car bomb them? Long live the ira?
You did fine I guess. Everything turned out as you’d expect it to idk what to tell you user. Not sure why you’re looking for validation here, all we’d say is send pics of the kid
Probably, the broodmother sounded like she had a half-leprechaun cork-faggot
half-trashbritish accent.
So yeah probably northern Irish faggots.
>my fapping hand agility and death grip wank hand sees to it that she never can swipe it
LOL