I have this issue with my gf where she gets upset because I say nigger/nigga to my friends like youd say dude
However:
> I'm not racist or anything, I've nothing against black ppl
> I'm latino
> my native language isnt even english so english slurs and words are not especially offensive to me
> im part black (~1/4) though i look mostly white
why the fuck does she get so bothered about it, shes asian.
is this some tiktok trend? shes a zoomer too and uses it a lot
it's just a word, tell her to stop being a nigger.
Pic relevant? Ya gfs tight asian cuny?
nop user sorry
Is she a nigger?
no if anything im more of a nigger than her, at least when it comes to ancestry
>spic that's a quarter nigger.
>"I look mostly white"
Doubt.jpg
I called some black dude big nig in front of my crush last Monday. I don't talk to her any more. Too uptight.
Maybe go around and start saying chink all the time because she's asian, I'm sure that would fix the issue. For real though, a lot of people view it as hateful language, if you wouldn't feel comfortable saying it in front of a group of black people, then maybe stop acting like a cunt and stop saying it. In the grand scheme of things, this is a very small relationship issue. She isn't asking much of you at all.
> She isn't asking much of you at all.
I totally agree with you on this, it's no biggie, but I think it's a bit of a silly request
i dont say it around her though
it just ticks me off given the context, which seems to not matter at all and I think it does, not just for this but for anything
I do, i didn't go out much for the last year but you can tell im mixed
but this is a bit much, id never do this
simp
Explain to her that context matters OP. You can usually tell a hateful expression of the word from a genuine greeting or friendly embrace.
here
Think of is this way, she is asking you to make a small adjustment with vocabulary that bothers her a bit. Prove to her you are mature enough to meet her half way, and try not saying it for a while. I imagine you are quite young, because saying that kind of shit makes you look like an asshole to most people and that is a lesson you have not learned yet, even if they would not tell you so. May be funny or cool in front of your friends, but that kind of shit don't fly on the streets or in public, so why say it all?
I have, she doesn't get it
> she is asking you to make a small adjustment with vocabulary that bothers her a bit
I can do this without problems, I'm legitimately okay with changing the way I speak
I just think that for this issue and any other that may arise in the future, context matters
> May be funny or cool in front of your friends
it's not funny or cool, it's just a word, we don't laugh when we say it, we just use it regardless because it means nothing in spanish
> but that kind of shit don't fly on the streets or in public
I don't use it in any of these contexts, I'm aware of how much trouble an improperly placed word can cause
> so why say it all?
It wasn't a deliberate choice, good friends also call each other faggot or cocksucker all the time in latin america among friends. My annoyance comes with the fact that the context is completely irrelevant just because the word is offensive.
The society i grew up in gives less of a shit about these things.
But again, for her I am cool with changing my vocab, I just want to understand if I'm being unreasonable by thinking like this.
>But again, for her I am cool with changing my vocab
Are you? Because you just dissected my whole post about it. Either man up and do it for her, or don't man. And yes, you're being unreasonable and clearly over thinking this shit. The fact that it doesn't matter to you is clear, you're not doing it for you, we get it. Do it for her, or don't, but if you're going to do it for her than stop trying to poke holes.
continued
Better yet, if you REALLY want to do it for her and impress her, tell her this:
>Hey, I thought about what you said, about how you want me to stop saying 'nigga, nigger'. I think you are right, it's a bad habit and I will try to cut it out. I am glad you were comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
Seriously, say that. Anyone here who disagrees isn't getting any pussy. You gotta find ways to negotiate and pick your battles in a good relationship.
>Are you?
I am. And you're right, I can recognize that, it's definitely for her and not for me.
I guess I was obviously initially just seeking validation while also looking for actual clear direct instructions like what you've provided.
> You gotta find ways to negotiate and pick your battles in a good relationship.
Yeah it's a silly discussion and you're right that this one isn't especially useful.
There's another thing we keep discussing, I'll probably make a future thread about it at some point. But I'm comfortable with your advice, thanks buddy.
So I'm a woman (not posting tits because I'm not aroused and I look like shit, sorry) and I'm also a latina. I'm from Argentina, and we call eachother negros and niggers all the time. Tell your gf that where you come from, or at least in your culture, you don't feel offended or annoyed at something so minuscule like a word. It depends on the context, too.
Me and my partner call eachother negros all the time, as a sign of bonding and trust. We even insult eachother. As long as you're not using that word with hate, nobody should annoy you about "not" using it. Hell, even if you're wih someone who is black, ask them if they're comfortable with the word, simple as that.
My boyfriend is bisexual and so am I, and we call eachother fag, slut, trola (which is like the female version of a fag) and we laugh it off.
Get thick skin y'all.
You're welcome, and it is obvious to me at that at the very least you care enough about your relationship and this potential issue enough to make a post about it. Good luck user.
>"I'm not racist, is it ok to say nigger?" he asks on Any Forums
such retarded bait
sage
I'm sure that works for you, and your partner. Anons partner didn't like it, and even made a point to discuss it with him. Every relationship is different, user.
thanks amiga.
Yea I think given my background and where I lived all my life in latin america, in a black-majority country, this type of stuff is pretty normal among friends and partners.
I think from this point of view alone I'm not wrong in my worldview and whether words matter or not to me and those around me. But obviously given my partner's discomfort around the word at least in english, I will stop using it as per 's advice, which is very good advice I reckon.
Yeah, some people are raised differently. When I encounter someone who could get offended or hurt if I say certain words like "fag" or "puto" I just avoid saying them in front of them. It's a compromise.
You're welcome mi loco. Even here in Argentina, a lot of people are super mega white, like me. I'm so pale I can see my veins in my arms, feet, and other places of my body sometimes. But I've had a lot of friends who are really tanned or dark-skinned, and they loved calling eachother negros. Hmm...
>I will stop using it as per user's advice, which is very good advice I reckon
Yeah, I guess! Do remember that words can't hurt you, only your perception of them can. If your friends are cool with you using certain words, don't hold back and enjoy yourself. That's what I do at least. I even laugh at racist jokes against my country, because I know they're just that. It's really mature that you decide to change a bad... Habit, for your partner's comfort. Good luck, OP. c:
>they loved calling eachother negros
yeah it's definitely a thing! we also do this a lot and it's pretty whatever, almost nobody intends it to be racist anyway. Not normally at least.
>only your perception of them can
100% agree! this is another point i've tried arguing with her but silly to argue about it
>If your friends are cool with you using certain words, don't hold back and enjoy yourself
Yeah I just messaged her now (she's asleep tho) that like I can't guarantee I won't say offensive words with my friends, just like they probably will.
But that I won't use it around her.
> Good luck, OP. c:
thank u user(:
>Good luck user.
thank you too user, appreciate it