What's the funniest thing you've said to a telemarketer/scam caller?

What's the funniest thing you've said to a telemarketer/scam caller?

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I asked them kindly to stop and it worked havent gotten a single call.

You should've said I want to rape your nigger mom while I shank her

Blew the most high pitched horrible note out of my saxophone for almost 30 seconds

Haha

i took them all the way to the credit card stage, full sale on everything they wanted to sell me.

then I asked them if they use the 'Disco Master Card'

When they said no, I called them a jive turkey and sang a shitty version of Stayin Alive by the Beegees until they hung up

When I was a kid I told them my dad died, and they never called again

Kek

Tried to offer me compensation due to hearing damage I suffered at work. Told them I’ve been a librarian for 20 years.

Had a scam caller tell me that my PC had a virus and I started becoming hysterical that my PC has covid and asked them what I should do now.

Next caller kept asking if my PC is around. Told them that it's in the hospital because it has a virus.

Both didn't know how to deal with it

ive literally never had one being honest
if you get regular telemarketing or scam calls you should contact your phone provider

>I was crushed by a stack of books

Won't help. They usually ghost call people now, and can use any phone number they want

Not saying TO a telemarketer, but AS a telemarketer. I got a job during school selling coupon books(books that had a coupon as each page). Shitty job, shitty people to work for. One night this girl who answered from a list of random numbers did not believe I was a telemarketer. I was doing the spiel and she kept saying "Paul, I know this is you" - " come on, Paul, knock it off". So after several tries of trying to convince her I was legit, I just said to myself "fuck it" and decided to have some fun.
"Ok it's Paul. I am really calling for a reason"
"What is it"
"I have a thing for you. I can't stop thinking about you. I'm so in love with you and I want to be with you. I have wanted this a long time"
Now, keep in mind I have no idea who Paul is to this girl - friend, brother, cousin, step dad, NO clue
Silence. Her voice is shaky when she speaks,
"Come on, Paul. Stop it"
"I can't help it. I want you"
"Paul, we can't"
"Just think about it. Tell me your answer next time you see me"
And I hung up. Fucking delicious. I would LOVE to be there the next time this chick saw Paul. Poor cunt had no idea what he was in for.

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The one time they called I had them on for a couple hours, Spooked them by telling them intricate details of their phone-provider and actual location (Kolkata, India) when I let them connect to a virtualmachine, haven't had a call ever since

She probably made up paul to troll the telemarketer (you)

Trust me. Customers aren’t that intelligent.

I torture them I sound like a kid in the phone so I give them false hope by saying that my mom is interested in changing an electricity provider

If it's an Indian I tell them just I raped their grandparents and then beat up a cow.

Idiot. You think I can't tell the difference? Go fuck your retarded self in the ass with a rasp.

not paticularly funny, but i will have them give me the full speech while i go to the toilet or do chores.
there is only so many hours in a day and every minute they waste talking to me increase the likly hood that they will starve.