I just realized I don't have friends

I just realized I don't have friends
>They don't care to come hang out with me or check on me
>Last time I asked if they wanted to hang out they said sure and ghosted me
>Told them I got a job recently and no one commented on it
>Too scared to call any of them because everytime I call they don't pick up
Recently I've just learned to shut the fuck up and not do or say anything about it. I don't want to make a scene and lose the only 'friends' I got because I called them out. They're all good guys and that but I'm always in the back of their minds to them.

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i learned who my friends were when i had catastrophic spinal problems that needed surgeries and months off work. Nobody tried to contact me and see if i was okay despite spending lots of time hanging out with them. When i finally came back on crutches they said 'i thought you were on vacation'

I don't blame them, i blame myself for thinking they would give a shit

Get used to it, a lot of adult men don't have friends that they can count on beyond beers when things are good. It's a lonely life as an adult male, moreso when you see how the women in your life have support networks.

Be a bro, try to treat others the same way you'd like to be treated.

Can confirm. Men don't get anything without buying it. Fuck western civ.

It really shows you their true colors

Same shit. If they haven’t hit me up in a year, and the last few times was me calling them. Fuck em. I look at who actually hits me up.

There was nothing malicious, they just never gave a shit in the first place. I thought the time and effort i spent with them meant someone might, but nobody cared.
That was the last time i made any effort to have relationships with people. At my most vulnerable, needy, and worst nobody cared, so why should i ever care?
Going into surgery alone and needing to take a cab back home was about as depressing as anything i can think of...

That sucks to hear. I always wonder if it was someone different in the group then they'd be checking on them every day or if it would be the same thing that happened. I know the answer though, since a friend had his appendix ruptured and went to a hospital out of town. They all went to visit him and make him happy. I Broke my leg a few years ago and had to stay inside. I didn't even leave town. Not a single one of them asked if I was good or came to check on me. That was the loneliest year of my life. And then covid happened.

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recovering from somethign terrible alone is about as lonely as anything i can think of
You see all these stories of how 'i couldn't have made it without them' or 'thier support got me through'.
Meanwhile you lay there in the hospital and nobody ever visited or texted or called. you learn how if you died nobody would have even noticed...

I once drove a friend/coworker to their lasik appointment, helped them get their prescriptions, a meal and then put them to bed. They were eternally grateful for the help. Honestly, wasn't a big deal, I had a good day. It's those little things in a time of need that make friendships.

this thread has made me realize that the majority of Any Forums consists of those people who think they have friends when in reality it's just people talking to them once in a while. why are we like this bros?

My wife told me my coworkers aren't my friends. I was dumbstruck, we eat lunch together every day, wtf? I think I, men, have low bars for what defines friendship.

not sure if it is majority, but at least i invested time and effort to make friends and then when i needed help i found none of them were actually friends. it was just some gay work acquaintance shit...

i used to think i had friends. then like yall i never felt any reciprocation. family is where its at. and maybe one woman to start a new family with. got lucky in that my wife is my best friend and i married into a great family and we all love each other and look out for each other. always wanted like a tightknit group of bros like u see in the movies and shit. but i operate better alone anyway so i just stopped worrying about friends and just focused on myself. do have two friends from an old job i still stay in contact with tho.

This.
If it werent for patriarchy id be more sad for the state of the adult males.
Can corfirm serious dearth of true blue friends

grown man shit, homie

I can think of 1 and even then we've been neighbors in the same building for 20 years

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Well said. I always get a slight feeling of jealousy when I see people who have friends who care about them since I haven't had that. Sure we laugh with eachother but they don't really even remember those times. I have fond memories that they all forgot. It's painful in the worst way to your mental health.

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yeah people have their own lives going on. it's hard to stay in touch with anyone that you don't actually have to see on a regular basis. i recently reached out to pretty much every friend i have left and only one of them took any time out of their day to spend time with me, and i only saw them for like 2 hours. what can you do. i'm just going to try to enjoy whatever time is left of this stupid thing. maybe i'll meet some cool people one day.

exactly, ive played vibeo gamre for hours a day almost daily for TWO YEARS with this same group, then i stop playing that game for a while and all of a sudden i'm annoying, they never wanted to be around me, etc.

Yeah man, I don't know. I'd say I've made maybe 3 real friends in my 34 years but we still drifted apart.

Shit happens, but that doesn't mean you will never have any real friends. But a lot of it is yes, generally work friends will only ever be that. But IDK... I do have one real friend. My 80 year old next door neighbor. Lol. But he's a bro though.

You never know, but stay positive. I mean even when shit happens, you just gotta look forward, can't fucking change the past so no point in dwelling.

its not even about jealousy or envy.
its being a human in pain that might die and looking for anything positive and finding nothing

why ever waste more time on anyone after going through this alone... You spent time with them and thought there was something there, but going into surgery alone makes you realize it was all a waste and nobody ever cared. Being on that stretcher going into OR alone with nobody waiting outside is the loneliest feeling I can think of. You think you will be fine, but if not, nobody will be worried...

meh, it's moreso quality over quantity. I only have a few good friends that I even talk to. I suppose I have many decent friends that I've lost touch with over the years, but if they ever needed help and were in the same town, I'd help them. I'd only assume they'd do the same for me, even though we don't talk much any more. I guess it's part of getting older. The guy I considered my best friend died, recently. I had moved to another state many years ago, but his wife called me up to let me know he was dying. He considered me his best friend, still, too, even though I hadn't spoken to him in a few years.

my oldest friends are from work. which aint saying much. but i think it depends on the job too. was partners with a dude for years and we hung molds together for 12 hours a day. that bond from relying on each other so much and so often made us pretty tight. even tho the jobs long gone we still call each other sometimes and hang out and have a beer. but thats one guy out of a whole bunch of people i thought were friends.

Yeah, I never had true friends either. I never understood caring and friendship, probably because my parents neglected me. I cry about being neglected at times but only because the parents lied to me and I can tell. I'm totally a mistake and they keep lying to me as if I'll always be as gullible as I was when I was five. But at the end of the day, and probably because of this, I prefer solitude. People disappoint me and constantly lie.

I remember this one time, my high school "friends" slammed my face in my birthday cake and all my mom did was laugh and take pictures. I don't remember a birthday where I haven't cried except my 26th, when I successfully held it back all day and then sobbed like a baby for a whole week.

I always felt like I would better myself and become desirable. I work hard and give people chances and listen to their stories, but "my turn" never comes.

I'm pretty smart and attractive looking and now make around 80k/year, but friends and socializing is something I'll never have. I've accepted it at this point. I don't like people. I want to be a wizard