I'm a mexican neet and would like to enter the us army. How could I feasibly achieve that...

I'm a mexican neet and would like to enter the us army. How could I feasibly achieve that? I was thinking about marrying some American gal (or guy, but just as a facade, I don't want my butt stuffed) who would be willing to help me but I'm kind of a sperg and don't know where I could meet such a person. Also I don't have any immediate family living in the us.

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You are not needed here

I don't really want the nationality, dude. I just want to be in the army

you can literally just join the army. its filled with all kinds of illegals and foreign faggots. they take anyone.

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Vet here. I would honestly reach out to a recruiter to ask how it would be possible to do that.
Ive heard of people becoming naturalized citizens through enlisting in the Army but Idk how that works. Best bet is to reach out to a recruiter.

Oh and call a few of them. Get multiple opinions. Recruiters are genuinely good people who want to help or selfish pieces of shit who dont give a fuck unless you can help them meet their quotas so call a few of them.

Greencard soldier. Google that.

But I need to have a green card and reside in the us already, I think. I live in Mexico right now.

Would they help me even if I don't reside in the us?

No, you'll get the Green Card if you survive.

First of, why ?

Second, user here is right.
They'll take anyone, if you apply, and you'll probably have to open doors to jihadis with a shotgun in Iraq.

Enjoy blowing your legs off, ese

Go join the Mexican army. We don't want any more fucking spics in America.

I'm a fuck up and I feel like I'm going nowhere and the strict, almost mindless military life seems enticing. I feel like that order and structure may bring some purpose in my life. And, no, I don't want to join my own country's army since they are pretty much just narcos.

Meant for

>would like to enter the us army
>I don't want my butt stuffed
That's kind of a contradictory statement. US army is kind of gay right now

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Why not the Mexican army?

At least you will not be sent to "win" "peace missions" in Afghanistan 2.0 or Libia 3.0.

There are less tiring way to suicide

The Mexican army are just Narcos dressed in green (or brown). I should know since my dad used to work there.

Idk man, but more power to you. Don’t believe the meme that republicans don’t like immigrants. If you come here and actually support America we’re all for it. Also sorry you were born a dirty spic.

Pinatas and tacos and stabbing and stealing and rape and drunk driving. Thank you Mexican, thanking for wanting to come to our country you and your fat wife Lupita and your 19 fat little brown Mexican children. Thank you for your service...now there leave on my driveway go blow it.

Honestly, the Army sucks. Though, if you're not half retarded, go for a commo job. You'll get a good job when you get out.

Like what?

Gravedigger

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Puto

Sounds good

How tall are you?

As in what MOS or what job? If you go 25B (that series is actually being merged and idk what the new name will be) you can become an IT guy when you get out. Everyone I know that wasn't smooth brained makes $70k+ after they got out. 25U can become a contractor if they're not an idiot.

Join the Ukraine forces. After 3 or 4 Russian kills the American Army will then accept you in.

Follow up to this The army does a crash course before basic training for immigrants. Where you learn English and stuff. At least, that's what my immigrant friend told me when we were in training together. That was back in 2016 though.

We’re coming for you, Pablo.

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Every sector of the armed forces have missed their recruiting goals last year. So you are quite wrong on that one.