Literally what even is SCRUM?

Literally what even is SCRUM?
t. NEET

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The fall guy for when projects blow up

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Its an informal and agile way to manage projects but you really have to commit to make it work. Its not for everyone.

Project management which everyone and their mom brags about using but in reality no one actually adheres to its principles.

what the fuck does that image even mean

God I forgot I still had PEE on

it's true though. you could look as ugly as shit and still score if you got money. I've seen them all.

The pay isn't even that much. 90% of my current team makes more than the median (basically everyone except new college grads)

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hot

I've had a full 6 month course about this bullshit and I can't tell you either. The best I can describe it is for the mentally ill by the mentally.

SCRUM is chaos for chaos' sake.

idk and I'm a PM making $160K a year. I just create reasonable milestones and allocate resources to make it happen.

It's a system for keeping wageslaves in check

real scrum has never been tried

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when is scrum master going to be renamed to scrum main?

I have never partaken in a scrum project that didn't fail due to unforeseen time sinks

Writing complete, functional programs, and then charging for them, was difficult.
So we write a program that's partially functional, release and charge for that, and then keep adding to/fixing it forever, charging for that as well. SCRUM is a part of the methodology of running that circus. It mostly involves being the clown with the biggest nose.
If you're wondering why all modern software ships at full price but barely works, you can thank the fuckwaffles who pushed AGILE.

I look like that

It's a way to suck the soul out of development. Developing is turned into a constant production line of tasks. No sense of accomplishment. No sense of finality. Just constantly churning through tasks.

They never called scrum devs "scrum slaves" because no manager would ever be that on-the-nose

I’ve found agile to be a good way for management to offload all risks and responsibilities to their teams

In english, doc.