This u?

This u?

Attached: 1647269642603.jpg (1730x1000, 988.02K)

Yes, except I still enjoy a few things

>I still enjoy a few things
thats good

It was in my early to mid twenties.
I went to UCLA (dropped out), dated a beautiful girl for 4 years and improved my world view, got dumped a couple weeks ago, looking forward now to make my dreams a reality.

>looking forward now to make my dreams a reality
nice!

Yeah, I know what I want, and I know how to get it, but I just don't. Maybe I don't actually want to? I just don't want to live, so I don't, maybe that's what I want. There are small things that I enjoy, but I don't do anything with them, just grinding for the sake of it, with no real purpose or tangible benefit. I think I'm sick in the head, got diagnosed for MDD and started and stopped taking antidepressants but I'm still here, psychiatrist is way too expensive so I'm not going to try again until later. But when?

37 years old man here, yep, that's me, all of those apply to me
It's painful but comfy-painful, I don't know how to describe it... Rather than burning forever under immense torture in Christian Hell, my existence is more like Hades: bleak, purposeless and never changing, but at least you cna coast through it for eternity
I see people with girfriends, children and engaging jobs, and I see them having their highs and lows, and I decided, or deluded myself, that the lows are not worth the highs
Now excuse me, I have to stare at Steam for 45 minutes deciding wether to play a videogame or not, even tough ultimately my enjoyement of it is not worth the time to click the start button

Mostly yeah, it is a hole that I have dug for myself over the whole covid BS.
Let's see how and when I can claim to have climbed back out of it.

Yes it used to describe me well but this is more like phase, when ur dealing with trauma or overcoming an obstacle

Attached: rererer.png (319x278, 148.95K)

Get a hobby, you faggots.

The problem is not having a job (for me)

>was thinking about doing that
>knows it's not too late

Yeah it's way too late. I've been planning on making minecraft youtube videos since 2010. I even have multiple 10-15 minutes scripts written and all that shit. So far my progress has been "spend 5 minutes looking for a good cheap video editor" which I did a few years ago, and progress has since stalled

so yes, yes it really is too late, even if I had the motivation aint nobody want to play or watch that shit in 2022 lol

>Maybe I don't actually want to
Have you ever thought it might be procratination?
I cannot talk for everyone, but in my case, that happened to me when I've been putting aside things for a long time to the point where I don't care anymore.
Maybe you just lost interest

No. Try again

Pretty much, but I'm 24

>It is too late
Well you got something that you can build on to start new.
These reasons you're giving is maybe your justification to procrastinate.
Don't let that slow you down.

Fuck you found me but this is changing i can feel it brutha

on closer inspection im only a few of these things....

If someone cuts me off in traffic or doesn’t use their signal i’ll obsess over it all day getting nothing done but sitting and thinking about it and I can’t do anything at all until I feel “right”. Am I a schizo? How do I fix this?

No I have a fire music job

Me until 2019.
Turned it around (mostly) since then.

If that meme fits your description it wouldn't matter if you were aware of it, any attempt to change would fizzle out in 15 minutes