Any Forums D&D:

Any Forums D&D:

I will check the thread for replies every couple minutes, and try to wrangle all good rolls into a coherent narrative.

Rules:

1. Highest roll determines what the character does, unless it's stupid, in which case I will make it less stupid. Please respond to the newest DM prompt to avoid your comment being missed.

2. There is one Playable Character, unless you make a roll to claim an NPC from the DM.

3. Some actions may require a second roll:

Roll chart

>01-19 = Automatically fail
>20-39 = Easy checks
>40-59 = Medium checks
>60-90 = Difficult checks
>90-99 = Legendary
>00/ Trips = Automatically succeed

4. If the character dies, or if I fall asleep, the game is over til next session.


>>>> WORLD BUILDING

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To a elementary school

I'm level 9 niggerwizard
My spells are:
>Steal Bike
>Summon 40oz
>Become Invisible at night

Intelligence: Low
Charisma:Low
Wisom: Ultra Low
Strength: High
Agility: Meduim
Constituition: Low

You're driving to an elementary school. You have 3/4ths of a tank of fuel, and you haven't shaved in at least 4 days. You arrive at the school, but it's closed. It is, afterall, late evening.

I roundhouse kick the first nigger I see

ok build mud hut

I fall asleep at wheel

Kek, legendary

how do you roundhouse kick yourself?

dey ain't no niggers in da dungeons

Most niggers die before getting past the cavern level

You find a magical treasure chest, you roll to see what's inside. If the roll succeeds, you unlock and endless amount of firery habenero doritos, but if it fails, a Smaug sized dragon appers to attack you while his goblin army aids him and make jokes about you having a tiny weiner

A black man impregnates another white womb

Carrots

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Haha I fell asleep motherfuckers

You leap out of the car and deliver a lethal kicn straight to the throat of the first african gentleman you encounter. His neck snaps, and he is dead before he hits the ground. His two friends, a buff white guy and a skinny mexican, are fumbling in their pockets for knives

>kill count: 1

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Based

I throw a nerve gas bomb at the nigger lovers

You toss out a gas grenade, but these guys are wise. They see it coming and fling themselves behind cover and avoid the ensuing cloud of gas. One of them is pulling up his phone

>911, help, there's been a murder, he's throwing explosives!

take off pants

While you take your pants off, one guy charges you with a knife, roll 20+ to dodge his attack

I try to disarm the guy and take the knife away with my anus.

ROLLIN

I try to calm the situation with the best spidermann quotes

They pulled a knife out and now they pussin out? Bitches

>66
You trip the guy and he falls, stabbing you in the asscheek. You have a knife stuck in your ass cheek.

>Guy is on the ground
>knife in ass
>cops are coming

>HP [42/50]

i pull out an ultramagnet which attracts the knive, allowing me to wield it

i pull the kniffe out of my ass and lick the blood off, while getting into a combat stance

i fly away by farting a lot

You are now armed, but your stance is weak, since your ass muscles are badly damaged.
You release more gas, but not enough to fly.

>Cops are coming, both guys are now on you with knives. Roll 60+ to dodge.

roll to dodge straight at the mexican's nuts with the knife

i get a flashback of my time training with chuck norris and turn into a literal weapon of ass destruction

I thought the mexican was a girl with the pronoun guy