Embarrassing moments

embarrassing moments
>be me
>be 18
>going over to sexy femanons house
>shits tight
>shes a few years older an has her own plae
>make the 45 minute drive out there
>good tunes and smoking on the way
>park in my normal spot down the street
>a secluded parking lot behind houses
>grab the empty bottle from the back seat
>perform the ritual
>always pee into this bottle before going over and dump it out into the parking lot
>my brain makes me think this is better than using her bathroom after the 45 minute drive
>unzip pants
>commence pissing in the dark
>pee
>wait a minute
>pants feel warm
>and wet
fuckfuckfuckfuck
>stop peeing too late
>pants soaked from thigh to gooch
>im fucked
>totally missed bottle
>dry myself up as best i can with old shirt and napkins
>finish peeing outside like a normal person
>walk over to femanons place still wet with piss
>why
>night seems okay at first, ask to use bathroom first just to finish up
>im still fucked
>literally looks like i pissed myself
>i decide "well the faster i get to fucking, the faster my pants come off"
>go out and sit on her nice dry sofa
>we start watching the tv
>try my best to just get to me getting naked
>either she wasnt in the mood then or i smelled like straight piss
>but no progress was made
>smoke weed
>finish movie
>leave kinda early
>move on with life and decided only to bring in up in a Any Forums post

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needs rescued

Been there. Did that. A few times. Piss smells funny and females have a more acute sense of smell than men do. Plus, it'll never dry on your pants in time for you to greet her.

Your first mistake was not getting a bottle of spring water from a local gas station near her house before going there and dumping half of it on your pants and both pant legs. Or better yet, a cup of coffee. It stains brown. Let it cool off some or put some water in it to let it cool down and then pour a little on your pants. When you get to her door and she greets you, you have the cup (or bottle of water) in your hand and you just tell her that you were driving here and the coffee accidentally spilled on your lap. She'll chuckle but you can save face that way and still salvage the planned evening at her place. It works. I've done it.

i have a pee story too

>Be me
>Be 15
>Mom gonna wild when i say i have no plans for future
>Destroy my room
>Forces me to get naked
>I try to run, she stops me
>Start to throw trash at me
>I pee myself and start to cry
>She get more angry
>Take the bottle of whisky
>Give up
>Let me in the trash/pee

Wild story, i have 23 now, i still love my mother.

im going to remember that coffee trick for next time i piss myself

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>be me 23
>meet girl on tinder
>meet for lunch during work
>she has me wait outside of her work for 10 minutes
>she comes out in a mini dress
>says she told her boss she needed the afternoon off
>cool she is dtf
>she hands me a silver sports bottle
>"it's a gift just for you"
>i refuse to drink until she squirts some in her mouth
>she does and says if i drink it all we can go back to hers
>i drink it down whilst driving, as i finish it i hand her the bottle
>she laughs and asks if i want it refilled
>laugh and say sure, dress comes up, no panties
>she pisses in the bottle and hands it back
>i don't know how i didn't crash
>finished the bottle as we pull up at her place
>fucked her all afternoon and night

>skip 6 years
>we're marrried

>in high school swim class
>piss in the pool next to a hot chick I actually kind of have a chance with even though I am weirdo
>think no one would notice because everyone is looking up at the teacher from the water
>teacher looks down with a concerned expression on face at me
>some kids turn to look
>the piss was dark yellow and clearly visible just floating right in front of me next to everyone

>be me
>21
>living in the basement of my parents house (i still do)
>like midnight one night
>parents usually go to bed at like 10
>bored af on Any Forums
>end up on /gif/
>start looking at porn threads
>hmmm why not
>too lazy to get in bed and cover myself up with the blanket
>sitting on the couch with my laptop on my lap and my legs spread
>start going at it
>have headphones on
>suddenly hear the sound of footsteps
>look up
>my mom is coming down the basement stairs
>stares right at me
>stand up and pull my sweater down to cover myself up
>when i stand up the hairbrush falls out onto the floor
>my mom sets the basket of laundry on the stairs
>"you're fucking disgusting. do that shit in the bathroom with the door locked"
>she goes back up stairs
>my mood is ruined
>put my pajamas back on and go to sleep
>dont talk to my mom for like a week

shit was hands down the most awkward and embarassing thing in my entire life. i passed out drunk in my car when i was living in my car once and the cops came up and started searching the car and i had pissed myself overnight and that was less embarassing than my mom walking in to see me spread eagle mid fucking fap.

This guy pisses himself

also ive been strip searched in jail a few times. shits fucking humiliating af. still not as bad as my mom walking in on me tho.