What would be the first thing you would do when you get the notice on the emergency broadcast system that a missile is...

What would be the first thing you would do when you get the notice on the emergency broadcast system that a missile is headed your way?

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Go outside to watch the blast and bask in all its glory for my last moments.

Surf Any Forums

Masturbate furiously

I wonder where it will hit and when. I don't think it's a question of "if"

the only way

Die

BEHOLD THE POWER OF ATOM!

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Buy a pack of unfiltered cigarettes, pint of vodka.

when the missle arrives i would jackoff at it and try to shoot it down with my load

Find out where it's going to hit and make sure I'm in the instant death zone

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Rape my cousin

I would duck and cov-

try one last time to selfsuck

Stand up drop my underwear, and jerk my penis whilst standing, watching the missile appear on the horizon

I live in a "flyover state."

You know, the ones the Demoshits like to make fun of? We're about 200 miles from a major city, plenty of food and guns and lots of land. Nothing really of any strategic significance for the Russians to nuke.

I'll turn the TV on and jerk off to San Francisco, DC and New York burning up in a mushroom cloud, hehehehe.

Cheer, of course. And as user above said it, Bask in the glory of the man-made catastrophe that our glorious scientists created for the betterment of mankind

I'm sure you'll be safe from the winds and the radiation they bring

Enjoy shitting and vomiting up your own intestines, hehehehe

f5

Then you find out the Russians haven't maintained their shit and are shooting blanks. Family gatherings gonna be awkward.

Send a thank you to Putin. Everyone hates the coasts anyway.

look up the 500 warhead and the 2000 warhead scenario, nowhere in the CONUS is safe

anyone who doesn't murder their cousin after sex is either hoping for seconds or an extremely poor planner

>checked

Have a wank. Sod the wife. I only got 3 minutes.

GTFO

I think the turd I'll generate may be enough to knock it out of the sky

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

This is fine

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Oldfag here. Life is nothing more than swimming upstream your entire existence with nothing to look forward to but a horrific ending. You youngsters will be getting off easy... you didn't have to suffer as long.