What's the weirdest thing you've done out of horniness?

What's the weirdest thing you've done out of horniness?

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Get your life together or kill yourself you horny retard.

I jerked off in the porno section (large closet at best) of a video rental place. I was a big 16, and I didn't even get off before getting asked to leave.

Jacked off while driving.

I've masturbated outside my mom's bedroom when she fucked boyfriends

go on Any Forums

shoplifted a dirty mag.

i did that once, it was a really long drive and i started getting bored so i wondered what would happen if i turned on porn and started jerking

i was out on the highway lol covered myself a couple times because i was afraid someone might see but i blew a fat cum all over myself- it was awesome

Compulsive sex addict

Love to expose myself movie theater, train, work. Jack off behind the seat or in public bathroom.

guy in my Hometown died that way. well, now that i'm thinking about it, no one can prove that he was jacking it and not taking a piss, but there was nobody else in the car, his pants were down, and people usually at least stop to pee

Dog lick weiner

was a truck driver delivering fruit to supermarkets. one Sunday I was stupid horny and was listening/watching porn all day on the drives between stops.
one stop left and couldn't take it any more. so I pulled my dick out and started going to down driving down the interstate. Didn't take long bc I was edging all day. Shot my load all over my hoodie.
Post fap regret set in and I realized I still had to do one more stop, then get back and unload my truck. Ended up going the rest of my day with my hoodie on inside out and absolutely drenched in cum.

Had sex with a hooker who looked 20 years older than her pics. I was there, i was horny and she was 5'2 and skinny nearly being my mother's age. Surprisingly her pussy was tight.

Honestly I wouldn't do something like that I again. Now I walk away from catfishes.

Lol @ hoodie, but driving in public jacking to porn is hot

nice pic of a minor

jerked off to a picture of my exes mom

>omg she's 17 years 364 days 11 months 30 days 23 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds old!
ask my dick if it cares faggot

Not OP, but she's fully clothed. Who cares?

Friend I had a thing for left an empty pack of these in my apt. I fucked the empty pack.

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Some hookers are very witty and have an easy way to get their clients off with little effort. Also, since that's their literal profession they're horribly adept at milking a man's seed with as less effort as possible.

Hookers are succubus-tier in every single way, the older ones that manage to keep sexy are absolutely the most dangerous/arousing in this regard.

it was a compliment ;)

Casual date rape

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Can't argue with quints

we got a moralfag in here

holy fucking quints

witnessed and based

>Surprisingly her pussy was tight.
What a retard

like how this was the reply that came with quints

When I was 16 I lived across from a farm and there was a stallion there that had low hanger balls and sometimes a boner. It always made me horny but one day I was high on weed and went over to it with ideas to touch its dick. But it just glared at me and kept neighing.

So I jerked off beside it in the field and did the walk if shame home

Been nice to a female

Why don’t you pull over to the side of the road, and jerk off like a normal person?

auto jerk n00b detected

My mom and aunt came over late one night both drunk and crashed at my apartment. I lived near the bar and they just stumbled to my place. Mom crashed on the couch and aunt crashed a love seat. Before they passed out drunk, aunt said she pissed herself a little, and bent over and pushed her ass in my face and asked me if I can see. Told her, naw, can't tell, she was wearing tight jeans.

I goto bed and wank furiously hoping one of both would drunkenly come into my room. I didn't even close my door all the way. It never happened and I just layed there stroking. I get close to busting and said FUCK IT.

Go out to the dark living room, and go over to my aunt. She is passed out drunk as fuck with her legs spead open on the love seat. I am naked, fully hard, pre cum oozing, and just start stroking in front of her and then the worst of it. She is breathing open mouth, head tilted back, I go up and stroke it with the head of my cock almost touching her bottom lip. I didn't want to get my cock bitten or whatever. So I just stroked and shot a massive nut right into her mouth. It was oozing out of her mouth and dripping off her bottom lip, then I saw it. She licked her lips and swallowed. Just a bit dripped down on her shirt, I had to take a peak so I pulled her shirt a bit and looked down at her tits. NO BRA, she doesn't have big tits or anything, like b cup and normally wears a bra, but not tonight. She had nice perky nips. I left, went back to bed, woke up in the morning and both were gone. Never spoke of or anything. Yes, I did this in front of my passed out mother but she couldn't see anything if she wasn't passed out.

fapped

sniffed and licked cum out of my roommate's girlfriends panties