Presidential alerts

>user needs the fucking president to read him the weather forecast

Never heard of these. How do they get sent out? SMS? What if you have no SIM card? Is there a mechanism under WIFI for it to get sent out?

>How do they get sent out?
It appears as an alert on your phone, not as a text message. Presidential alerts can override do not disturb settings.
>What if you have no SIM card?
Doesn't need a SIM card, but you need to be connected to a cell tower. Same way you can call 911 without a SIM card.
>Is there a mechanism under WIFI for it to get sent out?
No, it uses cell towers

I see. I assume that's all on the same sort of communication protocol as SMS since SIM cards work by communicating with those same towers?

Microwave phone for the maximum duration your microwave allows. So 99 minutes 99 seconds for most of you. If this doesn't work you'll have to try the tinfoil method. Wrap the phone in 99 layers of tinfoil to create a watertight seal. Then take a metal mixing bowl (copper is preferable) and fill it with lighter fluid. You can do this by buying 99 bic lighters and cutting them open with garden shears, being careful to gather every last drip before discarding the shell - you'll need it! Or buy lighter fluid in bulk at your local hardware store. Fill the bowl with 2 cups of lighter fluid and submerge the phone. If it floats you didn't wrap the phone tight enough. Remove the tinfoil and rewrap. Now that the phone is completely submerged beneath the liquid you need to crumple up 99 balls of tinfoil each the size of a pea. These tin peas should completely cover the surface of the liquid. The purpose here is to maximize surface area in contact with microwaves which will raise the temperature of the balls, bowl, lighter fluid (excellent conductor of heat btw) and phone. Due to the wrappings the phone will not overheat but it should inoculate it against any unwanted presidential dictates coming through. Oh yeah and you're going to wrap the bowl+phone+fluid+peas in 99 more layers of plastic cling wrap this time to seal off the reaction chamber. If you don't have plastic wrap you can skip this step but you may want to stand back a minimum of 1 foot from the microwave. Now even with 99 layers of plastic wrap you're going to get some outgassing from the phone. It's important to burn off this gas as it is EXTREMELY DEADLY. Place five candles in the microwave in a pentagramic arrangement with the bowl in the center. The rest of the instructions I can't be bothered to type out but you can find them on instructables by searching "BUTT PHONE ENEMA - STOP DAT PREZ TEXT".

It’s not about the SIM card at all. Your phone can use cell towers regardless of whether you have a SIM card installed or not. The hardware is still there without the card - you’re just not allowed to make calls and send messages as you please. In most countries you can make 911 calls without a SIM card,though.

for shitphones, you can't
for android, just disable the package

Yea I get that. Just trying to establish if it's some separate protocol, which it sounds like it isn't.

Which one?

En la vida he recibido una alerta de estas, Manu.

La acabo de recibir esta mañana y no paran. Le pasa a los de Orange