1. There is one character. The character has no name until they accomplish something. Highest roll by the time I check thread, determines what the character will do, unless it's stupid. If it's stupid, I'll take the least stupid suggestion.
2. You may introduce a new character if you roll high enough.
Roll chart
01-19= Automatically fail, even if highest roll. 20+ = Easy 40+ = Medium 60+ = Difficult 90-00 = Legendary
3. If the character dies, or if I get bored and fall asleep, game is over until next session
>00 is Highest possible roll You check your paycheck. It entitles you to a lot of money. World building is a valuable trade skill. You have enough money to satisfy your lifestyle three times over.
Where we left off last time: >Cocksgrinder escaped hell to 843 AD >Left Cuckman behind to deal with satan
>Cocksgrinder was lost somewhere on the western hemisphere >Fought savages, burned the village down, ate most of them. Including swallowing an infant whole
Liam Williams
>99 nice balls
Ian Kelly
>go on Any Forums
William Baker
Find and conceal fork in between ass cheeks just in case
Nolan Taylor
spend all of my pay on hookers and blow at the next possible convenience.
Dominic Cook
>97
lets goooo cocaine fueled murder spree
murderhobo GET!
Lucas Ross
bro summon a legendary monster
Connor Smith
You step through the portlal gate and arrive at home. You call your friends, promise them the usual money, and within moments, a veritable army of hookers have begun to materialize in the arrival gate on your porch. Each one has brought a small baggie of cocaine.
>Do cocaine? >Do some hookers? >Do something productive?
Hudson James
Fuck the cocaine and snort the hookers
Jace Kelly
snort all of the cocaine and start stabbing hookers
Charles Walker
>77 >78
Dude, fuck you
Anthony Jenkins
roll to summon tarrasque
Easton Green
Check balls one more time.
Eli Thompson
You have failed to summon a Legendary creature. You accidentally summoned your Sleep Paralysis demon, a common critter. You momentarily disregard the presence of cocaine, and instead stuff your nose between a hooker's asscheeks and begin huffing like a crazed animal. It smells like chipotle, cat piss, and poverty.
You vomit.
>Your wife is arriving home in 3 minutes. >she's bringing her parents. >expects a fancy dinner party.
Jordan Hall
Arm the hookers with whatever weapons can be found or improvised. Create a defensive perimeter. The god of debauchery says to not suffer wives and in laws to live.
Do you want to be a wage slave, or do you want FREEDOOOOOOOOOM
Isaac James
Wrenching a baggie out of some whore's bra, you stuff it up your nose before snatching a sword from its decorative stand on the fireplace and running the prostitute through. Her blood makes rivers between the cobblestones of your sitting room, and soaks into some animal-fur rugs. Your world is too small to summon a Tarrasque Your balls have begun to shrink from the cocaine use The hookers are too scared to take up arms. They flee from your blood-drenched image in mortal fear as you scream the word FREEDOMMMMRRHRHRGH
>Your wife materializes in the arrival gate, and her beautiful smile melts into an expression of terror >your In-laws are equally terrified >Your father in law looks ready to kick ass.
