Story time

Story time

>Be me
>raised to rough it in the wild
>5 years active duty
>never had a problem with not wiping for a few days if need be while in the field for weeks at a time
>fast forward 1/2021
>contract campylobacter (E. Coli’s bitch little brother
> NiagaraFalls.jpeg
> OldFaithful.jpeg
>shit lasted a week
>first 24 hours literally on the toilet for hours at a time
>Sugarfree gummy bears from Amazon have nothing on the foul souls of hell that rushed forth from my ass
>could have produced twice the power than the Hoover Dam
>asshole is raw the from acidic shit river flowing from my ass
>after a week symptoms stop
>fast forward to now
> doesn’t matter what I wipe with, how well I wipe ALWAYS have itchy butt hole after shitting until I shower and wash
>legit cannot avoid itchy butthole until I shower
Morale of story:
Everyone says “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemies” when they get sick or in pain. Campylobacter is the perfect illness for your enemies. Give your enemies campylobacter.

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i like the part where you described the poop coming out, in large amount, without ever mentioning the word, "poop"

nice story about how you pooped in the army, user. way to go...

Glad I could be of service

oh i thought active duty meant he was having a bowel movement for 5 years straight

sounds like that shit was coming out of your ass like "LEEEROOOOYY MMJENKENSSSS" lol. glad you're okay now, OP.

checked

My asshole neighbor's unguarded country wells have been the bane of their assholes too op. Hehehe

I guarantee campylobacter is worse than whatever you’re poisoning them with. Put campylobacter in there. Thank me later.

user it was not poop. Poop implies solidity. There was none. Just a literal river of ass juice flowing from my bowels unchecked by the sphincter. There was no “holding it”. Just hours at a time on the toilet waiting for a lapse in bowel movements to hopefully lay down for 15 minutes before running to the toilet again.

Every swamp's water is full of campylobacter et al.

holy... well,... shit!
i would have had to sleep face down with a cork up my ass. you sir are a legend

I had it so badly as a little kid that I slept sitting on the toilet for 2 nights, then spent 10 days in the hospital. Just from swimming in a shitty river

user, that wouldn’t have been enough

Oh god I couldn’t imagine getting it as a kid. It was horrible enough as an adult

I still have nighmares about it 40yrs later :(

i used to be in the field for a while like weeks or so and everytime i eat mre's, my butthole holds my poop in until i get to my actual bathroom toliet. i then give birth to a massive chonker that destroy s my butthole

You pushed too much when you had the shits. You have anal fissures. Should go away on its own after a while.

not op, but there's absolutely no pushing involved. Quite the opposite actually

what did you pull the shit out?

It's literally yellow water. Lots & lots & lots of water. That goes on forever