For years I've been working on improving myself, mainly to make more money, so I can buy a house and maybe a new car...

For years I've been working on improving myself, mainly to make more money, so I can buy a house and maybe a new car, so I can maybe get a girlfriend.
Last night I had a dream. I bought a nice new car, and got with a girl (think she was one of my ex), but even then the dream didn't end well; I think we had some sort of disagreement and she left instead of having me drive her home.
I'm sad af now because I feel like no matter how hard I work or how much money I make, I will never feel good enough and be able to be happy

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it was just a dream. go sweat a bit

I remember before I got my first girlfriend, I was so desperate for a girlfriend, I would dream about getting a girlfriend
Fucking 13 years later and it's happening all over again
I'm so depressed user. I wish I could hug someone

Fast, meditate, do cold water exposure therapy, do yoga. Realize that only you can make yourself happy and it has nothing to do with any partner you may or may not have.

And then kill yourself.

yea shotgun to the stem. I know

If it's supposed to be any message it's to not date your ex. Actually that's the advice anyone would give. It's just my opinion but still you're supposed to move on.

I wish I had someone to hug man

Your problem is, obviously, that are you seeking happiness through material possessions and accumulation of wealth instead of learning how to be happy without anything.

I've given up. The whole "I need to get a gf" thing don't bother no more. WHY do I want a gf? When I ask myself that, I feel like the cons are too much to handle. I can't afford a gf, I can't have a gf. A gf won't solve my problems, if anything they'll only make it worse. I've given up, and it's fine. Actually i've never even tried 100%

my mom has berated me all my life and made me feel like shit, and now I feel like I need to have a LOT to offer in terms of income in order to attract a mate

Fuck a hooker. I am a loser but no longer an incel even if I kinda am because I never went raw with a chick who wants me, I simply paid for it. Hey, I am a loser but at least I had sex so the more sex I had, the less the desire to be led and controlled by my need for pussy had a vicegrip on me. Seriously, if youre going to do all that for a woman who sees you as nothing but a mark, an easy target for your naivitë and inexperience, just fuck a high class escort. No she isnt a methhead or some ghetto black bitch, she looks good, has lingerie, gives you an experience. You could even get the girlfriend experience or you could book an actual pornstar. Why fuck broads who think they are entitled to your money and arent even half the women with half the skill that pornstars have? Entitled broads that are literal 4s and 3s with the pretensions of a dime piece and the delusional standards of every other broad who thinks having a pussy means that they are literal gods among men because they have what men want? Do what you want to and live how you want to, if you think youre too good to fuck a hooker because of some pretension as well, dont come crying 2 months later that youre still a virgin and no woman will fuck you. Women will fuck you because you have money and for your money, hookers are fucking you because you paid, there is a big difference. Average woman wouldn't even consider dating me because I am noy fit, I am not socially charismatic, I am not tall, I dont make money, I am not the kind of guy other women want, they dont respect me, I have low confidence, I am insecure, I have low self esteem, they also think I am gay because I am meek, they wouldn't fuck me, hookers do and they helped me a lot. The influence pussy had on me waned, I still want it but am no longer convinced I need it because I already got some

I haven't actively tried to get a girlfriend since college. I just work, get groceries, eat, work out, video games or screw around on the internet, go to sleep, repeat
That's been my life for the last 10 years

just dont work brah, focus on cool things like traveling and making music

Maybe reach out to your family? Seek a mental health help? I'm not kidding it
If something is yours it will come back to you, no matter when and where you let it go. Even if it's your ex, if she's truly yours, she will come back. Or maybe look for another significant other.

You need help, like psychotherapy help. Can't appreciate the small things, always competing to reach the top of the food chain, constant overthinking about possibilities which may or likely not come true. If you want to see yourself succeed then improve on little things at a time, don't concern yourself with the big picture yet. Life is a journey not race, I'm sure you can find physical and financial comfort (don't exceed your limits). You need mental help and reflection first

I was with my ex fiancé for 5 years.
We split up mutually because our futures were not the same anymore. Paths change as the months go on, that's normal.
She wanted to stay in her dogshit small town and I wanted to move to the city after I graduated college. I was looking to better myself and she didn't wanna come with, so its on her she didn't.
I took a few months off to myself, started dating some women from dating apps. they are all useless. there's a reason they are on a dating app. they are un-lovable.
You're not really missing out. Women are a de-buff.
Whenever I get sad and lonely I just masterbate and then I don't care anymore.
Pic related.

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I'm just living in my head everyday. I haven't made a new friend in a good 14 years

I'm surprised you haven't gone psychotic/experienced psychosis yet. I've had my fear few years of isolation and it sent me nuts for a bit. Branch out and meet new people, even chatting online like discord can help improve confidence

I guess I have always enjoyed being by myself, and right now it's really just that I'm getting older that I feel pressured to need to find someone soon and start a family etc

>no matter how hard I work or how much money I make, I will never feel good enough and be able to be happy
Yeah, that's how it works. Money, things, and other people will never make you happy. You've got to do that for yourself and by your own means.

awn poor you OP do you want a hand? Here, a hand for you.

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