I'm being 100% completely serious. Tell me how to get a girlfriend right fucking now

I'm being 100% completely serious. Tell me how to get a girlfriend right fucking now

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You should kill yourself maybe a demon in hell will suck your dick

Start dressing like Reviewbrah.

Ask a girl out on a date. You want to go on a few dates so they feel that you're laid back and pretty chill. Then you need to hit them with the ground rules, normal stuff like she has to wear specific things, suck your cock not other peoples, just what you expect and what not. Unless you wanna play the long game and hit them with that stuff after marriage but that usually don't work unless you're a wife beater.

try to remove yourself from your wants and "needs"

would you really think someone would NEED a Any Forums Any Forumsposter? What makes you desirable user that you don't even consider the fairer sex more than something to get?

Listen, don't talk. If you do that enough she'll want to fuck you

Have you met women recently dummy

get the fuck off this site, stop jacking off and work out instead, don't eat complete garbage, keep your body clean, and if you have trouble in social situations then look up, on this vast trove of information called the internet, some basic guides for autists on how to socialize properly…there are lots.

>Be yourself, the real you.
>Be cool and confident, not cocky.
>Don't obssess over her, that's a mistake.
>Don't treat her like a Goddess or put her on a pedestal, that's the worst you can really do.
>Treat her like a woman. Don't ever refer to her as "a female". That's what incels do.
>Worry less about sex and more about your relationship with her.
>Listen to her wants and needs, act on them but without compromising your own.

Im sad you didnt post ciara

with a gun

You gotta be as smooth as that cunt destroyer, Reviewbrah slays pussy daily

Get swole.
Emulate the dress code of normies.
Drop esoteric pursuits and get into mainstream shit.
Join shot where girls are. You are way more likely to mix it up in person than in an app.
Good luck - this is a 2 year project

Look up gfe in your local back pages you sad fuck.

God cursed me to live in a small town where it never stops snowing and everyone is a crazy redneck. There is no back page for my town

Simplest way is just to keep asking every/any girl out for a drink / lunch / whatever. Even if you only have a tiny chance, the law of large numbers still applies

Unironically believing the stop jerking off and start working out meme

Based and brahpilled

Dang ol good advice man

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you never will: kill yourself

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No seriously. Convincingly larping as an attractive normie with social skills and your shit thoroughly together after years of Any Forums isn't going to happen over night. Grind a little bit every week for a couple years though and you will have learned to emulate a human way better than your peers and will be absolutely drowning in it. Or just find a sad horny neet chick on Tinder. Either way OP

At this point I would be happy just to hold down a job

Do you remember Malls? remember how there was always that group of black dudes who hit on every average or above girl/woman who entered the mall?
They got shot down 99.9% of the time. This means that for every 1000 women they harassed for a few seconds they got laid once.
Learn from them. Do what they do. At the rejection rate you can expect you will soon quit caring about rejection. at that point you will happily hit on any woman.
You combine that with living in the gym and you will end up with a really tired and sore dick.

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But what if they see me hitting on their women? I don't want any problems with a black dudes

So glad I don't give a fuck about women.

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