How do I hide the lettuce, tomato and onion I took off my burger so the waitress doesn't think I'm a fat fuck?

How do I hide the lettuce, tomato and onion I took off my burger so the waitress doesn't think I'm a fat fuck?

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up your ass

you should be more worried about the fat gut hanging over your pants than the removed vegetables. Also she doesn't give the smallest shit about you dude.

I order a second burger

Give them to the dog

She'll never find it if you eat it.

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this x2

putting vegetables into my body is what I was trying to avoid

Is this some kind of "ha ha this is Any Forums we're gross" bait or are you actually retarded and a manchild? I can't tell anymore. This website has been fucked to death by Poe's Law.

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It's an unhealthy mix of both

Does anybody remember the guy that ate like six snickers a day

hahaha yeah that fucking weirdo who went to the gas station or whatever before work, during work and after work for 2 snickers each time. And was surprised he was a topic of conversation there. Yeah that was gold.

You should've just ordered it without the veggies you fat fucking tard

That guy was LARPing. He eventually dropped the charade when people asked too many questions.

ahhh, figured it was too dumb to be true.

>during
How?

lunch break.

Wait fuck I'm retarded I forgot about lunch breaks

>how do i hide food i didnt eat to appear less fat

sad

Crumble them up into a dirty Lil ball and stick Em in Yer bum ya frickin idiot

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Easy. Hide them under the tablecloth, but here's the important part: as soon as your date/guest goes to the bathroom, *rotate the table* and swap plates so they don't notice. When the busboy clears the table after you're gone, your date/guest will be thought of as a disgusting human being rather than you.

Bold of you to assume this hobgoblin isn't eating alone

Easily one of my favorite threads ever.

You're a retard. Waitresses 100% notice wat people look like/are doing

Get two buns from the trash can and something round that resembles the burger reassemble the faux burger without using the veggies(put them in your pockets or underwear) , cut a bit of it off and leave the table

"hmmm turns out that user wasn't a fat fuck at all he hardly finished his double fisted extra special quarter pounder with cheddar, and it seems like he only ate the veggies. What a considerate and healthy young man, I would definitely consider dating him under the right circumstances"

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she doesn't give a fuck if you are a fat cunt or not, she doesn't give 2 shits about who you are, all she cares about is if you are going to make her life hard with more work, or if you are going to give her a big tip. Apart from that, no interest, don't go pretending otherwise.

Maybe if they're doing something that is making their life harder as a waitress, otherwise no they're not gonna sit there and go "OMG that guy didn't eat his veggies what a fat fuck I'm gonna make sure me and my friends never fuck that guy even though we had no intention to in the first place!"