Haven't changed my bedsheets in 2 months

twice a year maybe.

That's okay. We all have our stuff. I think I just fell into a deep depression and got diagnosed with PTSD, also had a few nervous breakdowns and got put on pills. Kind of just stopped caring, worse still, my aspie gf just decided to stop giving a fuck when I started drinking and the place went to shit in a matter of weeks. What are jersey sheets? I sleep under a duvet, my feet have to stay open but i'm tall so they hang over. Also really struggle falling asleep, tend to twitch before I fall asleep and it pisses off the mrs. A pillow between the legs is also comfy, idk why. Stops your knees from bumping and another pillow by your head and chest as holding points. That's one thing that's worth investing in... a good pillow, bonus if it's down feather.

Fuck man, what you need lube for? You circumcised or something? Still, grow up and jerk off into paper or in the bathroom or something. That shit is what we did when we found out about jerking off.

Pillows weekly, sheets every two.

Every few weeks my mom will just rip off my sheets to wash them and I'll just have to put on a new one. If I'm lazy sometimes I'll just sleep on the bed without a sheet for a night

Jersey is super soft woven fabric, very stretchy. It's the fabric really old t-shirts are made of, or expensive t-shirts. It feels like a sweater more than your typical crunchy hotel sheets.

To sleep I stretch my toes and flex them, then move up to my legs, flex my calves tight then loosen a few times etc. do this all up my body. It's a good method. Get a blue filter, blue light prevents the production of melatonin, which you need to sleep, so either no TV or get that yellow filter shit on your laptop/phone or your body will think it's day time. Sorry to hear bout your life stuggles, ygmi I'm sure.

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I change my bedsheets every 10 days, or once a week. I just put the bedsheets in the washing machine with my clothes every time.

currently cleaning them because not doing so or washing has given me a fungal infection in the armpit so it stinks when unwashed for a few days.

How to I clean the black dirt and sweat from my mattress?

OOOOH!!! I know exactly how it feels. Very nice! Jip, tried that, got blue filters, do the stretching. This method helped for a little bit. youtube.com/watch?v=wZ7N7ngLu1A, so you do the same except in reverse?
Usually, when i've got the energy (no excuse but still) i'll begin praying about random things and that usually lulls me to sleep. Thank you for your kindness, we all have our vices and struggles. Also thanks for the explanation. I know the feeling of that fabric. That and a cool, clean fresh sheet made of cotton to sleep on is super comfortable.

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Daily

Every week...gf will not tolerate dirty sheets left over from last week's being together.

Replace it...there is no cleaning when it gets to that point.

user fucked up by not getting a mattress cover from the get go.