Bidets

Why do americans still put up with the scented toilet paper and baby wipe racket that doesn't even really leave your ass clean and just smears poop everywhere when they can buy a $30 bidet attachment for their toilet once and have a clean bowel movement every time?

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I just use antibacterial wet wipes. They get the job done.

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I take one (1) shower after the one (1) shit I take a day.

Most bathrooms in the US don't have GFI outlets close enough to the toilet I think.

The cheapest bidet attachments are operated manually through water pressure alone, you just reroute the intake water nozzle with an included T splitter, but they don't offer heated water.

>American public toilets don't have lids
>COVID sheds through urine and feces
>flushing toilets without lid coverings sprays aerosols containing said urine and fecal matter into the air through the bathroom
>common cloth masks don't protect users against aerosol particles
>every flush in an American public restroom becomes a potential spreader event
>everyone still wonders why Americans have been hit hardest by COVID more than any other country

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people are still worried about covid?
That was 2 years ago, I don't even see free vax locations anymore.

Don't forget American stalls have huge openings and gaps, giving those aerosols the circulation they need to spread throughout the bathroom.

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Yeah who wants their winker sprayed with frigid water though, I'll smear my poop around with paper any day desu.

If I had GFI behind my toilet I'd install a bidet in a second though.

I'm American and I and everyone else in my family have bidets (with heated water, heated seats, and IR remotes) on every toilet.

>buy a $30 bidet attachment
in the spirit of /diy/ I just use a 2nd shower hose running off a y-adapter that is long enough to reach the toilet to hose my ass off.

This. Feels cleaner, saves toilet paper and doesn't hurt my hemorrhoids.

*blows ice cold water into your sphincter*
VGH

I live in an apartment and adding a bidet system isnt practical so I just got myself a butt buddy. fuckin saved my life during the first months of quarantine

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What the FUCK is this ? (as an European bidet enjoyer)

>I live in an apartment and adding a bidet system isnt practical
Why not? I live in an apartment too and adding a bidet was easy.

Just hook up your car pressure washer. Job done.

we're complex organic beings harboring bacteria, why would you put antiseptic on your butthole?

>antiseptic - relating to or denoting substances that prevent the growth of disease-causing microorganisms
Just because you're organic doesn't mean you have to invite diseases

Ok Sheldon , but I hope you didn't forget to disinfect your hands for the 37th time today.

>Why do americans still put up with the scented toilet paper and baby wipe racket that doesn't even really leave your ass clean and just smears poop everywhere when they can buy a $30 bidet attachment for their toilet once and have a clean bowel movement every time?
Many apartment buildings do not allow bidets, also some homes

landlords can fuck you over for unauthorized alterations to plumbing, even if you dont cause any damage. In some states they can even investigate your apartment whenever they like

I tried to get my family to use the bidet i installed for them, but they all think its weird and gross. i eventually uninstalled it

>landlords can fuck you over for unauthorized alterations to plumbing, even if you dont cause any damage
No they can't, or at least not with the kind of "alteration" that a bidet requires and no more so than they can fuck you over for anything else. If you're just attaching shit to exposed fixtures, there's nothing they can do about it unless your lease agreement explicitly spells out what you're allowed to do in that situation. Same with showerheads.
>In some states they can even investigate your apartment whenever they like
Do you live in one of those states? Does your state not at least require notice?