Whats the best programming language to learn if you're a retarded neet who needs to get a job quickly?

whats the best programming language to learn if you're a retarded neet who needs to get a job quickly?

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java

COBOL

HTML, CSS, and javascript

Anything webdev related really.

Haskell

Nobody uses it so you will have no competition

Java or JavaScript, honestly. The most jobs seem to be in these two.

common lisp

>html
>css
not programming languages

learn whatever lang your job needs retard