Jesus watches you masturbate. And he is crying

Jesus watches you masturbate. And he is crying.

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I thought someone tributed Jesus.

well why doesnt the daft cunt send me a fuckin woman then? Stupid fuckin corpse on a stick

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What is he, a fucking faggot?

yes this, answer you big gay fag
Jesus should have been an ugly balding manlet

Imagine not touching your dick because some Levantine shish kebab said something 2,000 years ago. Christianity is cancer and everything good in it was stolen from Mesopotamia and Greco-Roman polytheism

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He is testing you cause he loves you.
You are a sinner.

sorry jesus, i'll stop it this time

imagine getting an ant colony. you see ants fucking. and you get deeply offended.

Jesus never said not to masturbate, thats gay ass evangelical nonsense

I always make ants fuck. Every day I am over the ant hill with a magnifying glass, looking at that insectussy getting pounded

jerk off and drown them in your seed, like erotic asphyxiation for ants

I am cumming,,,, directly in the ant hill. The entry to the ant's lair and my urethra are one

because he can't fap anymore
I understand his frustration

>because he can't fap anymore
O rly?

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>didnt bald
>was tall
>literally gods child, was probably able to get every bitch he wanted
Yeah fuck this dude. Literal Chad preaching water and drinking wine

OK but why did he walk around with 12 guys instead of bitches?

Jesus already watched us all masturbate (including people who did it to pizza) and still forgave us

That was his "husslers university". He scammed those retards out of their money for "pick up tips" and whatever. Eventually one of them got mad and saw through the facade and decided to rat on Jesus' scam

>why did he walk around with 12 guys
cellular proselytizing

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>I am gonna design them so they feel good when they touch this thing between their legs
>but it is gross to watch and it is a sin
>fuck they are doing it...
>I am good guy so I am going to forgive them for that

I don't think so, he understands. He will return and deliver us from this nightmare world

Lol idc I'm Jewish, get fucked faggot