Tfw wake up and dont feel like being alive at all

>tfw wake up and dont feel like being alive at all
>roll and smoke a ciggy
>wanna go back to sleep but my body had enough
>have a headache
fucking shoot me already

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>make & bring my parents some coffee
>help dad a lil around in the garden and cleaning up his car
>made myself a coffee with a ciggy
>planning to call a mental wards bpd station for a appointment
scary
what do I do afterwards
I mean there is a new episode of rick and morty plus some episodes of mr robot are left
but bleh
maybe some wow classic dunno

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Sometimes in life it doesn't really matter what you or your body wants, it doesn't matter if you don't want to get up in the morning. What matters is that George Madison Adams needs you to slave away for him so he can buy one of his 8 wives a new Cadillac.

>wake up
>decide not to do anything
Another day in heaven, why can't I change a single thing about myself

>finally make it through with my call
>got a appointment for a interview in december
>the nice woman on the phone told me after that the earlierst waiting time for a actual appointment & stay there will be another 4 - 6 months
>the bpd station therapy lasts 12 weeks overall
o-okay the 6 weeks I spent at their other station felt like a (bad) year
at least there will be like a "break" for sometime after 4 weeks, to see how good or bad the therapy is working on you outside the ward,
they will sent me some documents I hab to fill out and bring along for the interview appointment
>Cadillac
george got sh*t taste not gonna lie
should had kept it at one wife and bought a rollsroyce or maybach instead
???
Enjoy your day desu

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Doing nothing isn't a bad thing. It's just societal pressure to be productive.
Try meditation. It's as close to nothing you can do, but you will feel way better afterwards. Try guided meditation first if you aren't used to it.
Basically you just lay down, close your eyes and listen/observe at first. Listen to your thoughts. Don't try to follow them or suppress them. Just observe and let them go. Do the same with the sounds around you. Observe it, and let it go, until both the sounds and your thoughts are like a background noise or a radio channel you don't pay much attention to. Then start to lower the volume of said radio channel.
This can be hard the first few times, but it gets easier with time.
Another method is to mutter/listen to a mantra. The goal here is to pick a word/a phrase that means nothing, and repeat it for long enough until it becomes nonsense.
In both cases, if you do this for a while, you will become more calm, content and focused. But I highly recommend guided meditation for the first few times.

>Doing nothing isn't a bad thing. It's just societal pressure to be productive.
>society is... le bad!
Don't be retarded. Have fun being a +35yo creep on discord plagued by daily panic attacks unable to leave your room and completely skilless because you thought you were sticking it to the man.

Way to take everything I said out of context. You get the retard award of the day

>duuuuude, like just be one with nature dude
Shill the shrooms, faggot

They're bringing me tea. As they should.

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