I'm considering checking myself into a psych ward

i'm considering checking myself into a psych ward

Attached: 1662602340549750.jpg (612x612, 71.32K)

Why would you wish to do that user?
It might be good for you if you're in a bad place

i've been hurting myself quite badly recently, in ways that could cause serious, permanent damage to my body
i'm an alcoholic, and i keep hurting people in my life emotionally by being a train wreck
i can't trust myself, which is scary, because i don't feel safe being alone, but i also don't feel comfortable being around others because i keep hurting them
idk, it's just so scary

That sounds like a really good reason to check yourself into a psych ward. I think it's a good idea user. You can just take a break from reality for a bit and focus on healing.

idk, i'm still just only considering it
because like, getting put in a psych ward comes with a lot of stuff
it'd be on my record forever, it would fuck with my job, it'd probably expose to my parents that i'm deeply unwell
i'm cleaning blood out of my carpet, i cut myself quite badly

they're boring, you get nothing to do all day until the group therapies start, if you're lucky they'll have a tv but theres never anything to watch on tv, they'll let you draw or color maybe but that doesn't entertain you for an entire day.
then there's the people they won't be like you who checked himself in it'll be like would be homeless guy shouting nonsense, the person that refuses to take their meds and screams and makes a scene on a regular basis, the roastie who'se addicted to her medication demanding more making a scene.
the food is shit if you get put in a poor people one, i went to one where the food had no taste at all and the tv was on the worst most inoffensive most boring channel there was no coloring or nothing just cold rooms and a tv and you gotta wear the clothes they give you for a while while they wash your clothes. ive been to others where the food was great though and that was the only thing to look forward to was the food and snack time. then theres the bill i was there for two weeks and they're charging me 3k even though i have insurance, it's bullshit.

then what do i do?
what's a better alternative?

Make sure you treat the cut. Getting an infection would be bad.
I know lots of people have been in psych wards and still had good careers after. I don't think companies can ask you about that, not in the US at least. Checking yourself in would make things a lot easier than being forcibly checked in. You have more freedom like that.
Did something happen to destabilize you?

just quit self harming and start smoking or something.

i don't think anything specific set me off, i get set off randomly, by random stuff, because i'm just not stable in general
i don't think i have been for maybe a couple months, and it just keeps getting worse
i went to the hospital about the cut and they said it was probably fine, i only went because this was the deepest i've ever done, and i was scared
idk, i just need to think more about it, plus what this user said :/
sometimes i just get erratic, and i'll just randomly stab myself, sometimes i feel like i can't control myself, i don't feel sane
i smoke sometimes, it's fine, i'm not addicted but i'll have one from time to time

Are you diagnosed with anything? If it's getting worse, you should really try to find some kind of treatment. These kinds of things don't usually go away on their own. A psych ward or a therapist would be good.
The ward would be boring, that user is right, but it could also really help you. You'd have easy access to therapists and psychiatrists. The cost can be a lot if your insurance doesn't cover it all though.

i never got diagnosed cause my parents told me not too, cause they worried about my insurance rates and stuff
but a therapist of mine told me i'm more than likely borderline personality and bipolar, tho she can't officially diagnose me
idk what treatment i'd need, i've been considering self medication, maybe lithium or something
maybe it would be good, i think i'd probably be able to see a psych quicker, it's usually like impossible to get to see one within 6 months

Bipolar would be a mood stabilizer, something like lithium would work, but I think you're more likely to get prescribed something like abilify or latuda. That would calm you down a lot I think. I don't think you should self medicate though, lithium has some monitoring requirements attached to it that you won't be able to do on your own. I think borderlines are usually just given mood stabilizers and antidepressants; treatment focus is usually on therapy for those people. The psych ward would probably help you get properly diagnosed, they'd give you a prescription for meds too.

yeah, idk i'm just paranoid of doctors, so i'd rather do stuff by myself, yk?
i'm also scared cause like, if i do go to the doctor, then it'll be like confirmed, in a file somewhere, that i'm insane, and that'll never go away
and i'm afraid of hurting more people, namely my parents, mostly my mom
idk, it's just so daunting, i just wanna illegally purchase brain meds and make myself better

Idk, I've been in one of those places a few times. It never helped me, and I'd go so far as to say it made me worse. That being said I supposedly have ASPD so my idea of needing help rarely goes beyond moving furniture or having a friend with a pickup truck.
As far as hurting others, it happens. People kinda do that to one another. I guess some people feel worse about it than others. I'd say just try to cut back on your drinking and letting the people that care about you have their space but my point is moot because I'm not you or even like you, so do you what YOU think you need to do.

Attached: 1637135168708.gif (320x392, 2.34M)

yeah, idk it seems to me like all the ppl who've never been to a psych ward recommend them, while everyone that has been say it doesn't help at all
it does shake my faith, idk
i just want to get better
and yeah, i do feel horrible all the time over how much i hurt people, and i am trying to cut back in the drinking

Yeah, I get the urge to do it on your own.
I don't think it's as bad of a stain as you think it is. Those records aren't publicly available and you can't be discriminated on for them. A significant number of people experience mental health problems in their lifetimes. You aren't the first person to have bipolar disorder, you know?
I think you're more likely to hurt people if you don't get help than if you do. It might make your parents sad that you're doing so poorly, but it'd make them more sad if you got worse and did something that you can't recover from. Having support will make it a lot easier for you to get to a more stable place. I've done the self medication thing and it can spiral out of control very fast.

maybe you're right, i just really really want to do it, self medicate, that is
i have a lot of confidence in myself, just idk
ik it's bad, ik it's not a good idea, and ik i only want to do it because i'm fucking insane
but it just seems like such a fucking good idea to me
maybe it's some elaborate self harm thing that i can't see
but i want to do it so bad, even tho i know i shouldn't
i have been quite chemically obsessed recently

The problem with self medication is that it's very difficult to judge changes in internal state objectively. It's also not possible for you to get the lab monitoring that some of these meds require. On top of that, if you have bipolar disorder, you're at risk of nudging yourself into a spiral. Or if you're BPD, then you have a lot of risk of falling into substance abuse patterns. Having someone watch your intake helps a lot with preventing misuse.

i have been spiralling hard recently, and i do abuse substances so like yeah that's probably fair to say
idk, i know my thoughts aren't reasonable, and my paranoia is unfounded
but it doesn't stop me from feeling these things
i'm just so scared

Knowing that how you feel is unfounded is a good place to start. Having that level of self awareness will help you a lot in getting better. You're going to be ok user, you just have to find a way to get professional help. It doesn't need to be a psych ward, but you really need to get into some sort of treatment. I think you'd do really well in therapy, you seem like you understand your thought process pretty well, the tools you'd pick up in that would help you to keep yourself stable.