I might have just lost my only friend

Feeling like the lowest form of shit tonight so here's a story of what happened to me today. I'll probably change some minor details in case this gets posted to plebbit

>huge loser most of my life, talking like one or two friends maximum every year since kindergarten
>parents didn't teach me how to not be a fat fuck, so I was not popular with the ladies
>autistic, OCD, annoying
>find a friend group for the first time in middle school, feeling happy and accepted for the first time ever
>I end up going to a different high school than all my friends, some "smart" school for autists that I got into by lottery
>my old friends start cutting me off step by step, all except two: Broccoli and Rhubarb, we'll call them
>Broccoli is kind of weird, a bit of a wehraboo and probably asexual (he had the weirdest tastes in porn and he never went after a single girl in the 10 years we've known him)
>Rhubarb and I feel a real kinship from about 8th grade onward
>we became blood brothers in the back of his mom's van, had a shared porn stash on Google Drive (we were born in 2000, inb4 zoomer shit), etc. You know the deal, basic best friend stuff
>everything is going fine for a while, I have friends, my grades are good, I just want one thing more than anything else
>a girlfriend
>a little backstory: i had a "girlfriend" in middle school. In 6th grade i asked out this qt nerd girl who i had a huge crush on, and she "needed the rest of the day to think about it"
>uh oh
>at the end of the school day, i hunted her down and she finally told me that yes, she would be my girlfriend
>I remember breaking the news to my friends by telling them "Achievement Get: girlfriend!"
>I didn't deserve her

Part 1 of ???

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Part 2 of ???:

>another detail, i wanted to ask her out on Valentines Day, but I pussied out and had to wait all weekend to go back to school and ask her out (this was before children had smartphones)
>so our anniversary was officially the Monday after Valentines Day
>long story short, she moved schools right after we got together and I spent two years in an online relationship with what essentially amounted to a minecraft gf
>one time she dropped her phone in the toilet and i didn't hear from her for three months, but that's a story for another time
>one day she broke up with me out of nowhere
>probably should have seen it coming because in the entire two years we had gone on three (3) dates, kissed zero times, and held hands once
>well as it turns out she came out as trans a little while later and to my knowledge he's living a happy life as a transgender man. score one for the boys?
>back to the story, this was my only girlfriend experience up until this point, so when i met an egirl at around age 15, i was smitten
>I met this girl because she was a friend of Rhubarb, and he introduced me to her
>we'll call this girl Celery because this was her actual discord/steam name
>long story shorter, Celery was a man
>I was catfished by the woman I thought I loved (who was actually a 13 year old boy. score one for the boys?...)
>heartbroken though I was, I was always proud of my dear friend Rhubarb
>Rhubarb was a bit of a pussy slayer. he had a string of girlfriends throughout high school, and even though he mistreated them, he always had a dame by his side
>he lost his virginity at around age 17, which was a big deal for us losers
>but our tale takes us back long before Rhubarb popped his Cherry
>you see, Celery had a friend who we'll call H because the food thing has run its course
>Rhubarb had seduced this precocious minx through the internet-- she lived in the midwest and we lived on the east coast

Out of characters, continuing

Stop typing like a faggot.

>Rhubarb seduced this 15 year old girl, but their love burned too fast and too bright for this world
>by which i mean H fell in love with me
>don't ask me why, but this girl became obsessed with me. personally I was not into it at all, I didn't think she was my type and I found her kind of annoying
>however, those of you who have been paying attention are aware that I'm a huge fucking loser who would do anything to feel loved and accepted
>H and I started dating immediately after she and Rhubarb broke up. I still remember the exact moment she told me she had a crush on me: I was playing that actually-fairly-decent Roblox first person shooter game because I didn't own Call of Duty
>we were on a discord call and she confessed she liked me. I was not feeling it at all, but because i was starved for love i told her that i liked her too
>we dated for two years. two fucking years. and when Rhubarb caught wind, he refused to talk to me for months. I guess i can't blame him, but he had only dated H for a couple months at most. i don't know
>if you're wondering where Broccoli is during all this, we basically just kept in touch through discord so he could tell me about his HoI4 games and his favorite Roman emperors
>anyway, this relationship was a disaster that blew my first one out of the water. keep in mind that this girl lived in the midwest, so the only time I ever got to even see her was when I flew to her city to tour colleges. i think throughout the entire relationship i got like three nudes, but beggars can't be choosers
>the crux of this disaster is that we broke up about a month before I was set to move to her city for college to be closer to her. believe it or not, i actually broke up with her after she decided she needed a "week off" to decide if she was willing to keep hiding the relationship from her dad
>two of the best years of my life thrown down the drain, all for some guaranteed pussy that I ended up throwing away for my own honor

Out of characters again

Part 4 of ???

>anyway, I did the noble thing and broke up with this girl because she was stealing the light from my life and I just couldn't handle it any longer
>well by this time, Rhubarb had long since decided to forgive me (although I'm mostly sure that he's still pissed about it)
>skipping forward a couple years to circa junior year of college
>i'm a materials science major, Rhubarb is... the proud owner of a GED. i'm proud of you Rhubarb, life got you down and you pulled yourself back up
>around this time Rhubarb comes out as non-binary, so I'll be referring to Rhubarb accordingly from this point on because even bad people deserve to have their identities respected
>i'm married to a european girl i met online (she didn't have a penis, but at least she looked like she did in her pics)
>Rhubarb is engaged to a girl who we can call Rose, she seems nice but i'm married and she's not my type so obviously i'm not gonna make any moves (this sounds like a crazy thing to say out of nowhere, but remember this for later)
>Rhubarb, Broccoli, Rose, my wife, and I decide to start playing D&D together after I learn how to DM
>this ends... poorly
>Broccoli drops out of the campaign out of nowhere, but this is not Broccoli's story
>the thing that fucks over the group is that Rhubarb deliberately tries to sabotage the game at every opportunity
>Rhubarb intentionally goes to the grocery store when we're supposed to be getting online to play, they don't give a shit about learning the actual rules, and they're constantly trying to derail the game (think "i want to punch the old man in the ass hurhur")
>the thing that really lights the fuse on this nuke is that Rhubarb basically forces Rose to go behind my wife's back and air her grievances about how she feels that my wife is taking up too much of the spotlight
>My wife's feelings are hurt, Rose's feelings are hurt, the friend group basically crumbles apart

will continue below

yeah not reading all that shit

Part 5 of ???

>so there go my only friends, right?
>sort of
>I still chat with Rhubarb and Broccoli, but it's hard for me to forgive them for fucking up the only nice thing in my life
>I decide to pull myself together after about 6 months and invite Rose to another D&D game (but not Rhubarb, absolutely not Rhubarb)
>Rose is excited to get back into the game, and she and I get to talking over the next few months
>we discover we have a ton in common, and we become really close friends
>at the same time, Rhubarb and I are drifting apart because I can't keep my autistic mouth shut long enough to stop making offensive jokes, which Rhubarb has become exceptionally sensitive to as of late despite nearly a decade of having the same crass sense of humor
>so at this point i have exactly one friend, and that friend is Rose
>Rose is nice to me in a way that no other friend ever has been. she cares about me from a genuine place in her heart, and all I want in the world is to make her feel cared about in the same way she does for me
>I will remind you that I am happily with wife, and I am absolutely not attracted to Rose. When I'm around her, I feel like I basically transform into a gay best friend
>well guess who isn't too happy about their girl spending time with another person? you guessed it, the only other character in this story
>Rhubarb harbors a vile, festering jealousy for months, and it finally boils over about two nights from today
>Rhubarb wants me to stop speaking to Rose, even though I haven't spoken to Rhubarb in months at this point. so they show her all these old messages of me saying "jap" and "retard" and "tranner"
>here's the thing, I absolutely used to be a vile little shit. but Rhubarb was just as bad, and they've managed to manipulate Rose into thinking that I'm this Hitler of myself who hates minorities

continuing below

Part 6 of 6

>as I said before, Rhubarb has placed a seed of doubt into Rose's mind that her best friend is some sort of fascist
>not only that, but Rhubarb is convinced that I want to steal Rose away (even though I'm fucking married at this point)
>Today, Rose shows me all the horrible shit that Rhubarb used to throw me under the bus and drag me through the dirt
>Rhubarb says I'm manipulating her and turning her against them
>Rose listens to my side of the story and determines that I truly am a different person now than I was back when I was an incel autist robot
>but here's the part that really broke my heart
>Rose decides that if we're going to keep being friends, she needs to lay down new "boundaries" for our friendship
>She wants to postpone the D&D campaign we were planning, wants me to never say another negative thing about Rhubarb, etc. All things I can live with as long as I can keep my friend

>the part that made me want to die though is that she told me it makes her uncomfortable when I send her pictures of anime girls and tell her things like that I "don't want to lose this light in my life (her)"
>i made her uncomfortable
>i made her uncomfortable
>my autism has once again pushed someone i care about away from me and made them physically uncomfortable
>i honestly thought about killing myself when I saw that, but I'm going to try to hang in there and hope that things get better
>god i hope things get better

nobody cares dude delete this thread

>the part that made me want to die though is that she told me it makes her uncomfortable when I send her pictures of anime girls

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